


Come Back Home

by yayame



Series: Across the Universe [2]
Category: iKON (Kpop)
Genre: Implied Mpreg, M/M, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2018-08-23 02:44:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 45,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8310868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yayame/pseuds/yayame
Summary: Donghyuk has a lot of regrets in life. 
Junhwe does not have enough regrets in life.





	1. Characters

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of my attempt of a larger multiverse arc featuring of course, jundong! and side! bobdong because I'm trash for jundong.  
> I also mentioned in the commentary of my other fic, The Moon That Embraces the Sun, that I was toying with the idea of a creating multiverse! so here's my attempt.

**Kim Donghyuk** \- A twenty-seven year old restaurant owner and single father who lives with his older brother and his spouse in the outskirts of Busan. He’s known Junhwe since he was six years old and they got married straight out of high school at nineteen years old. He never went to college and now manages a small restaurant near the beach. He is fiercely loyal and would do anything for his friends and family. He doesn’t care for materialistic things and much prefers the quiet life of Busan to the fast paced culture of Seoul. 

**Koo Junhwe** \- The twenty-seven year old “K-Pop Prince.” He debuted at twenty years old and has been enjoying seven years of success and adoration from the people. He’s known for his husky voice and smooth dance moves which makes his a media darling. He can often be viewed as selfish and conceited but he has a softer side that he was since locked away. No one in the industry, besides his manager, knows of his separation from his estranged husband. 

**Kim Chanwoo** \- A precocious, mischievous six year old who lives with his father and uncles. He is adored and doted on by his family; he was born with anemia (a condition in which, the body does not produce enough red blood cells). He is often on constant watch by his father and family. 

**Jeon Jungkook** \- Junhwe’s best friend and fellow K-Pop star; he debuted at sixteen as a solo singer and has been in the industry for ten years. He was born in Busan but moved to Seoul in elementary school to start training so he doesn’t have many memories of his hometown. He is considered a bright and light-hearted person by his peers; he is also a bit sheltered due to his long career in the spotlight. 

**Kim Hanbin** \- The second Kim brother; he works as a freelance composer and works part-time at a nearby record shop. He loves his family the most and would do anything for them; he is extremely protective of his baby brother and nephew. He has a bit of a temper when he feels anyone is threatening his family and is the first to jump into action. He is married to Jinhwan. 

**Kim Jinwoo** \- The eldest Kim brother; he is a hotel manager for a small private resort and spends the rest of his time helping Donghyuk manage the restaurant. He is kind and gentle for the most part, preferring to remain level-headed and calm during stressful situations. His parents passed away in a car accident before he turned seventeen and so he pretty much had to raise his brothers himself. He is married to Mino. 

**Kim Jinhwan** \- Hanbin’s husband; he met the Kim family after Junhwe had already moved to Seoul. He tries his best to remain an impartial judge to the whole situation and keep Hanbin’s temper in check. He works as a kindergarten teacher and spends a lot of time babysitting Chanwoo when Donghyuk is busy at the restaurant. 

**Song Mino** \- Jinwoo’s husband and former best friend of Junhwe. He works as a cook at Donghyuk’s restaurant and participates in the underground rap scene occasionally. He is hot-headed and usually the first one to jump in with Hanbin into a fight. He considers the Kim family to be his own and would do anything for them.

**Lisa** \- One of the most popular supermodels on the runway; she’s modelled for top shows like Dior and Chanel. She is engaged to Junhwe; she can be a bit vapid and materialistic but otherwise is a rather kind person. 

**Kim Bobby** \- Chanwoo’s pediatrician and a close family friend of the Kims. He is Hanbin’s best friend and a close confidante of Donghyuk’s; he was interested in the single father for a while but they decided to remain close friends. 

**Song Yunhyung** \- Junhwe’s manager and a close friend from high school. He is sharp and cares deeply for Junhwe’s happiness and well-being. He moved to Seoul for college where he reconnected with his high school friend and became employed as his manager. He has kept in close contact with the Kim brothers but did not tell Junhwe for several years. 

**Other characters to be added.**


	2. hana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> june's a real ass in the beginning. like just absolute trash. he gets better. i promise. well, sort of.

**NOTES** : finally uploaded the first part. just a warning but june's a real ass in the beginning. like terrible. but i swear he gets better. well, sort of. yeah. anyway, enjoy! (crossposted on ao3)

* * *

**\---busan flashback---**

    “Are you serious right now?”

    “I can’t stay in the same fucking town for the rest of my life! Sorry, but that’s not how I planned my life!”

    “You think this is how I planned my life?”

    “Whatever--”

    “No! Don’t won’t whatever me. I’m your goddamn husband!”

    “You were.”

**\---busan present---**

    “Are you sure about this?”

    He grabbed a few cotton T-shirts, tossing them into his duffel bag before looking up to see Hanbin leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed with his signature stern look. Shrugging, he nodded silently, carefully folding his jeans into the bag before rummaging around the bedroom for a jacket. “It’s the only option I have left.”

    “I know. But if it’s too much for you, me and Jinhwan hyung could go or Jinwoo hyung--”

    “I’m a big boy. I can handle this myself.” Donghyuk slipped into the closet to pull out a worn out sweater, flashing his best smile before silently shuffling over for a wordless hug. “Thank you, though.”

    His brother patted his back a few times before pulling back, “Any time.”

    He grinned, turning back to the bed to zip up the duffel bag, giving the room one last look as he pocketed his cell phone. “Alright, let’s go.”

**\---seoul present---**

    Swirling around a glass of scotch, he stared out the window, admiring the Seoul skyline with a smirk. He could see his reflection in the large floor-to-ceiling windows, adjusting the crisp collar of his pressed shirt before turning around to smile warmly at his guests.

    Shuffling softly, he moved to sit on the black leather armchair, sinking into the comfort as a maid walked by with a plate of caviar to serve him. Junhwe looked up to see a svelte figure drape across the arm of the chair, grinning down at him.

    “And tell me, Mr. Koo, how does it feel to win another Daesang? Does your trophy case even have any more room?”

    He chuckled lowly, shrugging sheepishly, “Guess I’ll need to buy a bigger trophy case.”

    “Please, the only trophy you need to show off is your beautiful fiance.”

    The room cheered harmoniously in agreement.

    “You’re right, Jungkook.” Junhwe flashed a mischievous grin at their audience, “I have no need for another grand prize when I have the best one at my side. Right, Lisa?” He smirked, pulling her down softly into his lap before pressing a warm kiss against her red lips.

    “As long as you know that I’m the best you’re ever going to have.” She teased, wrapping thin arms around his neck to pull him into another kiss. “I love you, Mr. Koo.”

    “I love you, soon-to-be Mrs. Koo.”

    She laughed melodically, relishing in the attention as the rest of the party snapped away photos for their social media accounts.

**\-----**

    The loud whistle of the train muted out the sounds of the other passengers bustling in the station. People moved fast with purpose, pushing their way through crowds as they dragged their luggage across the polished floors of Seoul Station, too busy to offer any apologies.

    Donghyuk moved swiftly to try and avoid awkward bumps and wayward crashes, keeping his duffel bag close as he stepped out of the station and into the warm Seoul air. There wasn’t a difference in noise level, cars honking left and right while people talked loudly on their phones on the sidewalk. He carefully maneuvered through the busy street, sticking out a hand to hail a cab. A taxi pulled up to the curb, doors unlocking as he threw his bag in the trunk.

    “Where to, sir?”

    Sliding into the pleather back seat, he glanced up, making eye contact in the rearview mirror. He did his best to offer a friendly smile but he’s sure it came off as a grimace; the knot in his stomach growing as he rattled off an address he had managed to pry off a friend.

    The car ride was silent, punctuated by the radio and random comments from the driver.

_“And this next song is one of our most requested songs of the month! This one is for all you ladies! This is “#WYD” by Koo Junhwe!”_

    He froze, head snapping away from the window to stare at the radio.

    “You know, my daughter loves this song. I thought she would grow out of liking idols as she got older but she seems to love this guy.” Although, the cab driver complained, he wore a fond smile as they cruised through the streets. “It’s a nice song.”

    Swallowing the lump in his throat, he nodded carefully, “It’s a very nice song.” He whispered, fists clenching at his side.

**\---busan flashback---**

    “I love you.”

    He giggled, grabbing a fistful of the taller male’s shirt to pull him down into a kiss. “I love you too.”

    Junhwe grinned dopily, instinctively wrapping his arms around his waist. He leaned down to press his lips against his forehead, rocking them softly together.

    “Alright, love birds. Break it up, break it up. It’s time for the best man to make his speech.”

    They pulled away slightly, hands still locked together to see Hanbin hovering over them. “Okay, okay.” Donghyuk grinned, letting his husband lead them back to their table as his brother made his way towards the microphone.

    “You know, when Donghyuk first told me he was getting married, my first reaction was ‘Really? To Junhwe?’”

    The guests laughed as Junhwe playfully glared; he moved to wrap him in a hug, planting a warm kiss on his cheek with a red flush.

    “My second reaction was to find Junhwe and threaten him if he ever hurt my baby brother.” More laughter. “And my final reaction was to pull them in close and congratulate them.” Hanbin smiled fondly at them. “I’ve known Junhwe since Donghyuk dragged him home from wherever he found him. I knew him when he was going through his fifth grade obsession with Michael Jackson. I knew him during his awkward ‘gangsta’ phase. I’ve known him through all the scrapes and bruises from dancing. And most importantly, I’ve known him through his relationship with Donghyuk. And anyone who looks at them. Anyone can see how much they love each other. How much they cherish each other. And that’s not easy to find. But these two are lucky enough to have found it. And they’re lucky to have found it so young.” His brother raised his glass, “So, I want to take this moment to toast to a lifetime of happiness to the two people who deserve it the most; to Junhwe and Donghyuk.”

    “To Junhwe and Donghyuk!”

**\---seoul present---**

    “So, you have a photoshoot with GQ on Friday. I’ve already printed out the questions so you can look over them and decide which ones you want to answer.”

    He nodded, concentrating on the LED screen as he pressed the buttons on his game controller obsessively. He darted different obstacles, racing against the time to the finish line.

    “Vogue Japan wants to do a photoshoot with you and Lisa. A sort of newly engaged special.” His manager continued.

    “Okay, yeah, whatever.” He swerved past Luigi on the screen.

    “I’ve also booked for you to appear on Running Man to promote your next album which will be unveiled this week.”

    “Sounds good--”

_Knock knock!_

    He pulled out of his game to look up at the door. Chancing a glance at Yunhyung who seemed just as lost as he was. Pressing pause, he stood up off the leather couch, stretching his long limbs before stalking towards the front door. “Hope it’s not a stalker fan again.” He muttered quietly, grabbing the handle as the bell was rung again.

    Swinging the grand door open, he ran a hand through his jet black hair, ready to ignore the intruder on his day off; he froze as he looked down to see soft, tan skin and light pink hair, standing idly in the marbled hallway of the luxury apartment building.

    He stood unmoving, jaw dropped as he took in the image before him, eyes darting over lithe shoulders and soft eyes before landing on the duffel bag shrugged precariously over his shoulder. “D-Donghyuk.”

    “Uhm, hi.”

    His voice was soft, breathless even in the silent air between them. He blinked slowly. Once. Twice before finding his voice again. “W-why are you… What are you doing here?”

    “We need to talk.” There was an underlying note of urgency in his voice, unwavering as he looked up at him through dark lashes. “Can I come in?”

    He was half-tempted to ignore him; shut the door on him. Shut the door on his past.

    He nodded, sliding back a step to let him over the threshold. Over his head, he waved dismissively at Yunhyung, shuffling behind Donghyuk.

    “Sorry, I didn’t know you had company over.” He sounded timid, different from the bright kid he grew up with.

    “Uh, yeah. Yunhyung, we were on the basketball team together, remember?” Junhwe pretended not to notice the flinch of emotion as he turned to the other male. “I’ll call you later for the rest of my schedule.”

    He nodded, grabbing his briefcase off the expensive crystal coffee table before nodding solemnly; he shot him a look to express that they were going to discuss this later.

    He brushed it off, moving to take back his previously vacated seat on the couch. “So, what brings you all the way here to Seoul?”

    He watched as Donghyuk’s shoulders slumped tiredly, gently dropping his bag on the hardwood floor. “I--”

    “I mean surely there’s some great reason for the great Kim Donghyuk to come all the way up to Seoul.” He smirked humorlessly, leaning forward to grab his tumbler of whiskey off the coffee table before leaning back into the leather seat. He bit back a smarmy comment as he saw how exhausted the other male looked.

    “I actually came here for some money.”

    Junhwe shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He glanced down at the floating ice cubes before looking up with a malicious grin. “What? Need money now that I’m doing well for myself? Never really took you for the gold-digger type, Donghyuk. Then again, you were always good at playing the victim.” He grinned at how tight the other’s fists were, balled up against his side.

    “Look, if I had any other option, I wouldn’t be here.”

    “Of course not.” He mocked sympathetically, crossing his legs haughtily as he surveyed the other male from head to toe; he hadn’t changed much other than the pink hair. His skin was still dewy and warm-toned; body was still lithe with muscle from years of dancing but with a closer look, he could see how thin he was. His cheeks were a little too hollow, sharpening his jawline and his clothes hung off just a bit too much to completely call it a fashion statement. “How about this? You get on your knees and beg, and I’ll give you how ever much you need.” Junhwe’s lip quirked into a grin, “You remember how to beg, right? It was one of my favorite things about you.” It was a perverted statement but he couldn’t help himself.

    He expected the smaller male to storm out, scream profanities at him, slap him away. Instead, Donghyuk finally took his gaze away from the ground, looking up with a quiet glare before slowly sinking down to his knees.

    “P-please.”

    His grin grew wider, “Come on, you could do better than that.”

    The other’s throat bobbed with a silent swallow. “Junhwe, please. I… I need it. I need your help.”    

    “That wasn’t too hard, was it?” He ran his fingers through his hair, looking down mockingly. “Never thought I’d see the day that the great Kim Donghyuk would act like a whore.”

    It was a step too far but he was never one to play it safe. He stood up carefully, “Let me grab my checkbook.”

**\-----**

    Curling his fists against his knees, he could feel the hot, angry tears pooling in his eyes; however, he refused to let the other male get the satisfaction. He didn’t look up until he heard Junhwe’s footsteps fall away, reaching up to furiously wipe away his tears.

    He was tempted to run out the door and never turn back but then his phone began to ring; pulling the device out of his pocket, he did his best to keep voice steady. “Hello?”

_“Hey! Did you get to Seoul okay? We didn’t get a text message or anything so we were worried.”_

    He chuckled breathlessly, “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. No worries.”

_“And did you meet up with, you know, him?”_

    “Yeah, I’m, uh, actually meeting up with him now.”

_“Oh, shit. Seriously? Is everything going okay?”_

    “Yeah! Of course, everything’s fine.” He closed his eyes, breathing silently before opening them again. “How’s everything there? Life falling apart without me?”

_“Ha-ha. Not yet. Restaurant’s good. Had a bit of a busy morning but nothing we can’t handle. Although, we did run out of kimchi at some point-- Oh! Chanwoo’s here. Want to talk to him?”_

    Donghyuk grinned, “Yeah, put him on.”

    There was a shuffle on the other line but he heard a cheery voice.

    “Hi baby. Yeah, I’m in Seoul.” He needled at a hole in his shirt. “Yeah, we should come here together sometime.” His grin grew wider, lips splitting in a full smile. “I miss you too, baby. Yeah, okay. Love you too, Chanwoo.”

    The phone was passed back to his brother.

    “Thanks again. I’ll be back soon. Hopefully, I can get a train ticket back tonight.”

_“No worries. Don’t rush yourself. Enjoy the big city a little. Get some new clothes; God knows you need it.”_

    He rolled his eyes before hanging up. “Okay, bye.” He stared at his screen for another second before startling at the cough behind him.

    “Sorry, didn’t think you’d be on the phone.” Junhwe brushed past him, eyes narrowed as he took a seat on the couch again. “So, how much did you need.”

    He stared down at his hands again before whispering quietly, “Twenty thousand.”

    “What?”

    He spoke more clearly now. “Twenty thousand dollars.”

    Junhwe looked surprised before scribbling on the check. “Wow, what do you need this money for? Planning on a trip with loverboy?”

    He doesn’t comment, staring at Junhwe’s hand as it moved gracefully over the stock paper.

    “I’m right, right? There’s someone else. That’s why you need this money. What? Did he promise to love you forever if you paid off his debts? Or were you conned?”

    “That’s none of your business.”

    “Nuh-uh. It’s my money so it is my business.”

    “I’ll pay you back with interest so just please.”

    He held the check close, refusing to give it up. “Come on, tell me I’m right.”

    “Fine, you want the truth? You’re right. I need this money to save someone I love.”

    Junhwe smirked, “I knew it. You always were easy.” He tossed the check at him. “You don’t have to pay me back. Think of it as paying for damages.”

    He ignored the last comment, scrambling to grab the check. “I’ll pay you back as soon I can.”

    The singer shrugged, leering at him. “Whatever.” He moved to the private bar, pouring himself another whiskey. “Actually, I do need something from you.”

    “What?” Donghyuk looked at him wearily.

    “Divorce papers. I need you to sign them.”

    “What? Why?” He felt his nails bite into his skin as he clenched his fists. “We agreed we’d just separate.”

    The other shrugged sheepishly. “I’m getting married. I actually just proposed a few weeks ago. I’m surprised you haven’t seen it on TV.”

    “I don’t really watch TV.” He commented drily.

    “Well, anyway, since I’m getting married, I need you to sign the divorce papers. I mean, it works out for both of us. You can marry loverboy if you sign the papers.”

    Donghyuk bit his lip, flesh caught between his teeth. “I need some time to think it over.”

    “What’s there to think over?”

    “I just… I need some time, okay?”

    Junhwe looked like he was going to make another smart comment before he was interrupted by the doorbell.

**\-----**

    “Who the hell is here-- Jungkook!” He grinned at the intruder, giving him a quick fist bump before pulling away to let him in. “Sorry, forgot we were supposed to meet up. Yunhyung mentioned it earlier but it slipped my mind.”

    “No worries, man.” The other male slipped through with a smile, pausing when he saw Donghyuk standing in the living room. “Oh, shit, didn’t know you had company.”

    “Oh, it’s not a problem. He was actually just leaving.”

    “No, come on. Dude. Don’t throw a guy out because of me. I’m sorry, man. Didn’t know Junhwe had company. I’m Jungkook, his best friend.” He stretched out for a handshake, eyes turned into happy crescents.

    There was a slight hesitant pause before he grabbed the hand. “I’m Donghyuk… A friend of Junhwe’s.”

    “A friend? But Junhwe doesn’t have friends besides me.”

    He threw a playful punch, glaring as the idol launched into a boisterous laugh.

    “Kidding, kidding.” Jungkook turned back to Donghyuk. “But I don’t remember meeting you before… And I never forget a pretty face.”

    The smaller male flushed under the attention before clearing his throat. “I’m a friend from...  High school.”

    “Oh, no way! Man, you guys go way back then.” Jungkook slumped into his expensive Italian leather chair. “Are you here for long? I’d love to know all about Junhwe before he became the singing sex god he is now.”

    There’s something about the way that Donghyuk blushes and smiles under Jungkook’s attention that leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

    “I’m not sure that’s what he wants.” His voice is soft and shy. “I should really get going, though. I’m sure Junhwe is very busy.”

    Donghyuk didn’t stop to say anything else, ducking past him with his duffel bag.

    He watched him go, staring at the closed door before looking up at his friend’s cough, already dreading the sly grin on his face.

    “So, he single?”

**\-----**

    Sitting on a hard park bench, sun beaming down on him, he stared at the check in his hand. His handwriting was still scratchy and hurried, lines blurring together across the paper stock. His knuckles were stark white with how tightly they were wound around the check; with a deep sigh, he rubbed his temples before stuffing the check into his bag.

    He was barely a few blocks away from the luxury monstrosity Junhwe called a home. He was too tired to try and find his way through the bustling streets of Seoul as he settled in the pristine park by the Han River.

_‘I need you to sign the divorce papers.’_

    Donghyuk leaned back with a frustrated groan, blocking the sun with his hand as he felt the oncoming headache pounding away at his skull.

**\---busan flashback---**

    “Can’t we talk about this?” He watched helplessly as his husband threw random items of clothing into a black duffel.

    Junhwe sighed, pausing to stare down at his hands before looking up with a determined gaze. “This is… This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, Dong. YG wants me. Me.”

    He looked down at his hands, wringing his wrists restlessly. “...I know.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “But… What about us?”

    His husband shuffled toward him, “What do you mean what about us? I love you. You’re always going to be the love of my life.” He placed a soft kiss against Donghyuk’s forehead, wrapping long arms around his waist. “It’s just the audition. I could still fail.”

    He chuckled, “You? Fail? Impossible.”

**\---seoul present---**

    “Are you okay?”

    Donghyuk jumped at the sound of a deep voice behind him; he sat up to turn, recognizing the figure from Junhwe’s apartment earlier. He blushed, running his hand through his hair as he nodded sheepishly. “Yes. Sorry.”

    “What are you sorry for?”

    He paused, shoulders slumping with a shrug. “I’m not sure. I’m so used to saying sorry.”

    “Well, you shouldn’t be. Don’t say sorry unless you really mean it.” Jungkook casually walked over to sit by him on the bench.

    He nodded softly, “Right. Sorry. I mean, crap. Sorry. Shit!”

    There was a rough laugh; charming and deep as the other male looked at him with bright eyes. “You’re really cute.”

    His cheeks flushed, “Thank you.”

**\-----**

    Silverware clanged noisily on ceramic plates as a waiter walked by to refill their wine glasses. He cut his steak with a clean knife, staring at how perfectly it was cooked: a slightly red center.

    “Are you okay?”

    Junhwe glanced across the table to see Lisa looking at him with mild concern. He nodded, flashing a charming grin. “Yeah, sorry. Just a bit distracted.”

    “Anything I should be worried about?”

    He reached across the table to grab her hand, “No. Just thinking about my next album and how I should dedicate it to the most beautiful woman in the world.”

    She blushed, pushing him away with a laugh. “You’re a charmer.”

    His lips split into a mischievous grin, “Only for you.”

**\---busan flashback---**

    “Get a room!” Mino catcalled from across the hallway, sticking out his tongue.

    He pulled away with a playful glare, throwing a pen at his best friend before turning back to his boyfriend; he leaned against the metal lockers, watching as Donghyuk opened his own to begin grabbing books for the next class. “Come on, let’s skip class.”

    The smaller male blew a raspberry at him. “I can’t skip class. Don’t you know how important your senior year is?”

    Junhwe rolled his eyes in mock exasperation. “Come on, it’s just one day.”

    “I’m not letting you be a bad influence on me.”    

    He gasped mockingly, “Me? Never!”

    Donghyuk pushed him away with a laugh, playfully jerking away when he tried to lean in for a kiss.

    “Hey.” Junhwe whispered softly, pulling the other student close. “I love you.”

    He grinned slowly, eyes crinkled happily. “I love you too.”

    “Forever?”

    “Yeah, forever.”

**\---seoul present---**

    “So, what brings you to Seoul?” Jungkook tilted his head curiously, warm grin on his face. “Sorry, don’t mean to intrude but I’ve always been a curious guy and Junhwe’s always talking about how his friends never grew out of the small town life.”

    He ruffled his hair, shrugging. “J-just needed to sort some things out.” He leaned forward to rest his head against the palm of his hand. “I’m actually heading back tonight.”

    “Wow, short visit then?”

    Donghyuk nodded, looking down at the laminate table of the small hole-in-the-wall restaurant. “Yeah, I’ve never been a big city person.”

    “I thought you said you were from Busan?”

    “I am. But we live on the outskirts, it’s still a good twenty minutes drive before you reach downtown and all that.”

    “Oh. We?”

    He tripped over his words, “Me and my family. I live with my older brother and his husband.”

    “Oh, that’s cool.”

    Nodding silently, he glanced at his watch, “Well, I should head to the train station soon.”

    “Here, let me give you a ride.”

    “No, it’s really not--”

    “Come on. What kind of a gentleman would I be if I let Junhwe’s friend roam around Seoul without a guide. Besides, he’d probably have my head if I let his childhood friend get lost in Seoul.”

    “I doubt it.”

**\-----**

    “I want to go to Busan.”

    “What?” Yunhyung looked up from his smartphone, already attempting to book another a Japanese solo tour. “I’m sorry, I could’ve sworn you said you wanted to go back to Busan.”

    “I did.” Junhwe looked nonchalant, sipping a mimosa in the recording studio as he fiddled with the different controls on the soundboard.

    “Why? Because of Donghyuk?”

    “No.”

    “Junhwe.”

    “It’s not because of Donghyuk.” He set the champagne flute down, playing with the hem of his Givenchy shirt. “I’m getting married soon and it’ll be nice to see some of my old high school buddies. Have a bachelor’s night. That sort of thing.”

    “And this has nothing to do with the fact that Donghyuk just randomly showed up at your place.”

    “Yeah.”

    The manager sighed before turning back to his phone, “I’ll book you a flight for this weekend.”

    “Knew I could count on you.” The singer made a move to save the file, heading to leave the studio.

    “Junhwe.”

    His hand gripped the door handle, not looking back.

    “Leave Donghyuk alone.”

    He swung open the studio door, exiting without a response.

**\-----**

    “So, do you come to visit Junhwe often?” Jungkook kept his stare on the road ahead of him, hands wrapped tight around the leather bound steering wheel of his Mercedes Benz.

    Donghyuk stared at his hands, nervously wringing his wrists before tucking them back into the sleeves of his sweater. “Not really.”

    “Oh. What a shame. I’d love to see you more.”

    He froze, glancing up over at the other’s profile, noting the small smirk he wore.

    “Well, if you’re ever in town again, you should give me a call. I know this great BBQ place in Cheongdamdong.”

    Taking a silent breath, he nodded. “T-thank you for the offer.”

    “Anytime.” Jungkook glanced away from the road for a brief second, flashing his teeth at him.

**\---busan present---**

    “He wants what?”

    “He wants me to sign the divorce papers.”

    “I thought you guys agreed to just separate.” Jinwoo moved to rub his brother’s back comfortingly, soothing him softly.

    “He’s… He’s getting married.” Donghyuk dropped his head in his hands, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes.

    “What did you say?”

    He looked up to see Hanbin looking down at him solemnly, arms crossed as he leaned against the opposite wall. He shrugged, looking away. “I told him I need some time to think.”

    “What’s there to think? Sign the damn papers and you can finally close the chapter on that asshole. It’s not like he’s called you once in the last seven years.”

    “It’s not that easy--”

    “What’s not easy? He’s not coming back. He’s getting married to someone else, Donghyuk. Stop waiting around for him.”

    “That’s not it. I’ve given up on Koo Junhwe a long time ago. I’m not stupid enough to think he’ll magically come back to me. But you know why I can’t just sign the papers that easily.”

    Hanbin released a heavy sigh, moving to sit on the opposite side of him. “I know.”

    “Everything will be okay. Don’t worry.” Jinwoo leaned against his shoulder, pulling his brothers into a warm hug.

**\-----**

    The smell of salty sea air lingered as he stepped off the plane; he slipped the Tom Ford sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, looking around coolly as he grabbed his black leather Louis Vuitton duffle bag from the overhead bin of the first class cabin. He smiled teasingly at the blushing flight attendants, coolly strutting by them as he entered the airport terminal.

    He pretended not to notice as other passengers snapped away quick photos of him, walking confidently through the airport as he left the security checkpoint and headed towards the awaiting town car.

    He slipped into the leather seats as he gave the chauffeur a long forgotten address, relaxing against the cool seats as the beach came into view.

**\-----**

    “We brought over some strawberries from our garden. We know how much Donghyuk loves them!” An elderly customer handed over a basket of ripe fruit with a wide smile.

    He grinned back, “You shouldn’t have, Mrs. Lee.”

    “No worries! I remember how much you craved them.” Her eyes twinkled warmly at him as he brought over her usual order of seafood stew. “I don’t know what we’d do without your food.”

    He laughed, “You’re too sweet. Don’t let me forget to grab the box of sweet potatoes in the back for you. I’ll have Mino hyung load them in the car later.”

    The other customers cooed, pinching his cheek before turning to their meal.

    “Jinwoo hyung, can you watch the counter for a bit? I gotta run down to the store really quick.”

    “Yeah, no problem.” His brother already tied an apron around his waist, swatting Mino away with a childish grin as the taller male made grabby hands at him.

**\-----**

    He stood in front of the familiar old door of his parent’s rundown restaurant; the red paint was peeling away and the wood was worn from years of rain and sun beating down on it. Junhwe stared for another long second, hands in the pocket of his black trenchcoat before he shuffled forward, crouching slightly to fit through the door.

    The inside was brighter; the atmosphere was lively with the chatter of hungry customers, scattered around small tables and old chairs.

    He was out of place with his expensive black jeans and custom sneakers as he surveyed the restaurant.

    “Junhwe?”

    He turned to the side to see Jinwoo standing with a tray of empty dishes, staring at him with wide eyes.

    “Jinwoo hyung--”

    He sees Mino’s fist before he sees Mino.

**\---busan flashback---**

    “Hi everyone, I’m Junhwe’s best man, Song Mino.” His best friend stood at the microphone, holding his wine glass in one hand and his speech in the other. “I’m sure everyone’s sick of the speeches by now but I promise, it’s almost over.” The group laughed quietly. “I’ve actually known these two would get married for several years now. I remember after a basketball game, which we won, by the way.” He wore a smug grin, mirroring his best friend’s before turning back to the crowd. “I remember after this particularly grueling basketball game, we were standing in this crowd of our teammates and our classmates all cheering really loudly. It was so loud I could barely hear myself think and I look over at Junhwe, going to pat him on the back and tell him good game but he wasn’t looking at me. He wasn’t looking at our teammates pouring Gatorade over themselves. He wasn’t looking at our classmates dancing in celebration. No, he was looking at Donghyuk. Donghyuk who was talking to his friends. Donghyuk who just looked up and smiled at him and gave him a thumbs up. And I remember Junhwe whispering to himself. And even through the roar of the crowd, if you just leaned in, you could hear him say, ‘I’m going to marry him.’”

    The audience awed, glancing at the wedded couple with identical looks of bliss. Junhwe blushed, hiding his pink cheeks by nuzzling the crook of Donghyuk’s neck.

    “I’m really lucky to have you both in my life and to have seen you guys fall in love together. I can’t think of two people more fit for each other, and I think I speak for everyone when I say I wish you a long and happy life together.”

**\---busan present---**

    “What the fuck, man?” He held his jaw painfully, looking up to scowl at Mino as Jinwoo did his best to hold him back.

    “How dare you show your face around here?” His best friend was yelling furiously at him, eyebrows narrowed angrily.

    “What the fuck are you talking about--”

    “Look who I found walking down the street with Uncle Jinhwan--”

    Everyone turned to look over at the entrance; Donghyuk dropped a bag of groceries on the floor, onions and carrots rolling on the ground carelessly.

    However, he wasn’t looking at the abandoned vegetables; he was staring at the small child pressed against his hip, held tightly against him.

    “J-Junhwe.” His voice was soft, airless as they all stood staring at each other.

    He opened his mouth to say something, gaping like a fish as he struggled to remember how to speak.

    “Daddy, ice cream!” The child pointed at the abandoned pint of ice cream on the floor, fallen out of the grocery bag.

    That snapped Donghyuk out of his trance as he moved to set the child on the ground, grabbing the ice cream before heading into the kitchen; the kid trailed behind him excitedly, holding out both his hands as he was handed a small bowl with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

    “What the hell is this doing here?”

    He looked away from the small kid happily eating his ice cream on a colorful stool to see Hanbin standing in the doorway with a glare, held back by a petite male.

    “Uncle Hanbin said a bad word.” The boy interjected, a ring of melted ice cream around his lips.

    “He did, and he’s going to put a dollar in the swear jar. How about you make sure Uncle Hanbin doesn’t say another bad word while Daddy talks to his friend, okay?” Donghyuk moved to push his brother into the kitchen, avoiding eye contact.

    “Okay.” The little kid wore a wide grin, waving happily before he took another bite of his ice cream.

    “Let’s go.” Donghyuk’s voice was cold, grabbing his arm harshly to drag him out of the restaurant.

**\-----**

    Finding the old, empty playground, Donghyuk moved to sit on the swing. He looked up to see Junhwe still staring at him, eyes wide as he tried to process everything that had happened. He sighed softly, looking down at his lap, kicking his feet on the soft plush ground.

    “Is he… Is he… Who is that?”

    “His name is Chanwoo.”

    “Chanwoo. Chanwoo.” Junhwe seemed to be practicing the syllables, sounding them out loud slowly before turning to him. “I thought Chanwoo was your boytoy?”

    “I never said he was. You assumed and I never corrected you.”

    “Well, then... “ He took a deep sigh. “Is he mine?”

    Donghyuk didn’t look up, still kicking his feet as he took three deep breaths. “Does it matter?”

    “Of course it fucking matters, Donghyuk! If he’s my son-- And you should've fucking told me!”

    “Would it have changed your mind?”

    “What?”

    “Would it have changed your mind? If you knew, would you have stayed?”

    The taller male doesn’t say anything, staring at him with wide eyes. He chokes out softly, “O-of course I would’ve stayed.”

    “Yeah, and you would’ve resented us both. You would’ve resented us for holding you back. For trapping you here in this dumb town. You already resented me then. I don’t want you to resent him.”

    The singer stood stunned, silent as he stared down at him.

    “Chanwoo is not your son. He’s mine. He’s my son. I had him. I raised him. He’s my son. And no one knows so you don’t have to worry about your career. I won’t tell him so you can go back to your happy life as a singing sex god or whatever they call you. You can get married to your girlfriend, have kids with her. I’ll sign the papers this week and they’ll be filed and it’ll be like we never knew each other. So, all I’m asking is that you leave.” He stood up from the swing, making a move to brush past him and head back to the restaurant. “When we got married, you promised me you’d give me anything I wanted. If you meant it, I want you to leave. “

**\---busan flashback---**

    “Donghyuk, please, I’m exhausted.”

    “But… You haven’t seen everyone in forever… We planned a party to celebrate your upcoming debut! And we got--”

    “Donghyuk! I said I’m exhausted. I don’t want to go out and hang out with people who don’t understand how hard it is to be a singer.”

    “I just thought it’d be nice to see our friends--”

    “God, then why don’t you go without me?” He got off the couch, storming through the living room towards the kitchen to grab a beer. “Do you know how long I had to drive to come to this stupid town? I could’ve just stayed in Seoul at the dorm and slept but you insisted I come down. I’m exhausted so I can just get a few hours to myself?”

    “I… I’m sorry. I just thought it’d be fun if you spent a weekend here. You’re right. I’ll go to to the party myself. You get some sleep or something.” He stood up, grabbing his jacket from the coat closet, stuffing his keys and phone into the pockets.

**\---busan present---**

    An arm behind his head, he leaned back on the king-size hotel bed. His phone had been lighting up with texts from his friends and fiance talking about the crazy party G-Dragon was throwing in Gangnam right now. He ignored the notifications, instead, hovering over his manager’s phone number before hitting call.

_“Hello?”_

    “Did you know?”

_“Did I know what?”_

    “Did you know about Donghyuk? About Chanwoo?”

    There was a silent pause, bated breath. _“Yes.”_

    “How long? How long did you know?”

    A long sigh. _“A few years. After you debuted and I went down to Busan to grab some of your stuff. Donghyuk was… Yeah.”_

    “Why didn’t you tell me?”

_“...He begged me not to. Said he didn’t want to ruin your dream. I didn’t agree with him but he begged so I promised I wouldn’t tell you.”_

    “Were you ever going to tell me?”

_“Honestly? No. Not unless Donghyuk wanted me to.”_

    He nodded solemnly, clenching his fist. “Get me my lawyer.”

_“Junhwe?”_

    “I deserve to get to know my son. Whether Donghyuk remains in the picture is up to the judge.”

    There was a sharp inhale. “ _Junhwe, don’t do this--”_

    He threw the phone aside, settling back into the bed.

**\-----**

    “He’s what!” They were gathered around the speakerphone, angrily standing in the empty after hours of the restaurant.

_“I tried convincing him not to but he won’t pick up my calls anymore.”_

    Donghyuk rubbed his temples to try and will the headache away. “Thanks for trying, Yunhyung.”

_“No problem. I’ll try to talk him tomorrow. You should get some rest, Donghyuk.”_

    “Yeah, you too.” He hit the end call button, burying his head in his hands as he felt his eyes begin to water.

    “I’m going to kill him.” Hanbin muttered dangerously, pacing around the restaurant with a scowl.

    “I’ll help you hide the body.” Mino added, fists clenched at his side.

    “You’re not going to do anything.” He spoke up finally, looking at them tiredly. “I’ll talk to him. I’m sure he’s just overwhelmed and that’s why he called his lawyer.”

    Both of them looked ready to interject when Jinwoo put up a hand to silence them. “Donghyuk’s right. Being rash and irrational is not going to help. We all need to calm down and talk civilly.”

**\---busan flashback---**

    “Happy anniversary--” The crowd stopped cheering when they noticed it was only Donghyuk who shuffled into the bar. “Where’s Junhwe?”

    He plastered on a smile, “He’s tired. He drove all the way down here so I told him to get some sleep.”

    “But your wedding anniversary--”

    “Will come again next year. It’s an anniversary. Meaning it happens every year. Missing one isn’t a big deal.” He gave his brothers a quick hug, scooting into a bar seat beside Hanbin’s new boyfriend. “Come on, let’s have fun! Just because we don’t have anything to celebrate doesn’t mean we should let tonight go to waste.”

    The group looked uneasy as they ordered a pitcher of beer for the table.

    He settled into the leather booth, smiling softly at his friends and family, his expression falling for a brief second when he caught a glimpse of the cake they had ordered: white with gold frosting reading “Happy Anniversary” over a printed image of them at their wedding.

**\---busan present---**

    He kept his fist poised over the door, staring at the indiscriminate hotel door before leaning forward and knocking gently. Donghyuk waited silently in the carpeted hall, glancing around to see a few different patrons stroll in and out of their suite.

    “There’s a do not disturb-- Donghyuk.” Junhwe stood with wet hair and a plush white robe, looking down at him curiously before stepping aside. “Uh, come in.”

    He nodded slowly, cautiously entering the luxurious hotel room; he shuffled towards the living area, standing awkwardly before he carefully took a seat on the white leather couch.

    “Did you want something to drink?”

    He shook his head, watching as the singer grabbed a crystal glass and poured himself a glass of whiskey.

    Donghyuk reached into his messenger bag, pulling out a manila folder before gently placing it on the coffee table. “I brought over the divorce papers.”

    Junhwe shuffled to sit on the opposite side of the table, draping himself over the armchair before looking down at the folder.

    They sat in a moment of silence.

    “There’s no alimony or child support. I don’t touch a penny of what you earned and I’ll pay back everything I borrowed.”

    The singer nodded, reaching forward to grab the envelope, opening it up and pulling out the thick papers. He scanned over them, flipping through the pages before stopping. “You want me to give up my parental rights?”

    He flinched away from the wounded look, glancing down to stare at his nails. “I don’t want anything but I can’t live without Chanwoo. He’s all I have.”

    “And I’m supposed to give up my son then?”

    Curling his fists against his knees, he still didn’t look up. “You didn’t even know you had a son.”

    “And whose fault is that?”

    His shoulders tensed before he slumped in his seat. “You’re right. I should’ve told you. I was angry at you and that wasn’t fair. I’m sorry.” Donghyuk glanced up to look at Junhwe. “But you don’t understand, Chanwoo is my everything. He’s all I have left. I can’t, I can’t live without him.”

    The other male didn’t say anything, staring down at the papers before tossing them aside. “Why do you own my parents’ restaurant?”

    “What?”

    “My parents’ restaurant. It was theirs and now you’re running it. Why?”

    “...They gave it to me a year after Chanwoo was born. They were ready to retire and I needed to make money. Diapers and formula aren’t cheap.”

    He nodded, staring at him with a weary look. Junhwe looked sad, exhausted, as he spoke quietly into the air between them. “If you had told me, I would’ve come back.”

    Donghyuk ran his hands through his hair, “Yeah. And you never would’ve achieved your dream of being a big singer, dancing onstage in front of thousands of fans.” He leaned back quietly, “I don’t hate you, you know. I mean, I did a little. In the past but now, I see you on TV or hear your voice on the radio and I know that’s where you belong. Not in some outskirts, working at a small family restaurant in a tiny apartment. I want you to be happy. That’s all I ever wanted, Junhwe.”

**\---busan flashback---**

    “Are you serious right now?”

    “I can’t stay in the same fucking town for the rest of my life! Sorry, but that’s not how I planned my life!”

    “You think this is how I planned my life?”

    “Whatever--”

    “No! Don’t won’t whatever me. I’m your goddamn husband!”

    “You were.”

    He stood frozen, the glass of water slipping through his fingers into a loud crash on the floor. “W-what?”

    Junhwe moved in a fury, grabbing clothes off the rack. “I can’t have you holding me back anymore.”

    “I-I’m holding you back?”

    “Yes. I’m in Seoul trying to be a singer and you keep trying to drag me down here. I just can’t, I can’t do that anymore.” He reached into the dresser to grab the rest of his clothes.

    “Didn’t realize I was holding you back that much.”

    “Well, yeah.” He zipped up the suitcase, rolling it across the floor.

    “I’m sorry.”

    “Whatever.”

**\---busan present---**

    “You’re still really stupid.”

    He glanced up to see Junhwe staring at with an unreadable expression. “What?”

    “I said you’re still really stupid. I left you. I abandoned you. And you want me to be happy? Why can’t you just hate me? Make it easy? I’m trying to take your son away from you and you still want me to be happy?”

    “Junhwe--”

    “No, god, you’re still the dumb, naive high schooler who puts everyone in front of himself. God, just be selfish in your life. For once. Tell me off! Scream at me! Stop being so goddamn nice!” The singer reached over the coffee table, gripping his face in warm hands before dragging him into a kiss.

    He tried to jerk back but Junhwe kept him in place, hands moving from his face down to his neck and then to his waist. He wanted to pull away. Push him off but the warmth was familiar, comforting that he couldn’t stop himself from curling his fists around the plush terry cotton robe.

    They pulled away with panting breath, cheeks tinged pink as they pressed their foreheads together in a move to steady their breathing.

    He looked through fluttering eyelashes to see Junhwe looking back with a steady gaze. Whispering brokenly in the space between them, breath hot. “Don’t… Junhwe, don’t…”

    The singer shushed him, pulling him into another deep kiss.

    “N-no… Junhwe, I can’t… I can’t do this. Not again. I can’t go through that again. Junhwe, I can’t…”

    He shushed him, pressing chaste kisses against his jawline, working his way up to the shell of his ear. “I love you, Donghyuk.”

**\---seoul flashback---**

    “Junhwe, let’s go. You’re drunk.” Yunhyung tried to peel him away from the table, empty bottles of mixed alcohol scattered on the surface.

    “No!” He slurred, swaying away from the other male before slumping over again. His shoulders shook lightly. “I miss him. I m-miss him so much.” He pulled back, eyes red as he looked up at the other male. “I miss h-him Y-yunhyung.”

    His manager sighed, taking a seat next to him as he moved to pat his back comfortingly. “I know. I know you do.”

    “I’m such a shitty person, you know?” Junhwe moved to press his face against the other’s shoulder, tears soaking the clean dress shirt. “You know what I told him? I told him he was holding me back. Who the fuck says that to the person they love?”

    He shushed him quietly, wrapping an around his shoulder as he pet him gently.

    “I saw him.”

    Yunhyung paused, turning his head slightly to look at him curiously. “You saw him?”

    The singer nodded, body swaying drunkenly still. “Last week. I, I took a train down… A-and I s-saw him.” Junhwe hiccupped slightly, pulling back to wipe at his cheeks. “H-he’s still so p-pretty. Remember how pretty he was? I… I wanted to go over and t-talk to him b-but I was scared.” He slumped over again, pressing his cheek against the cool surface of the table. “I d-didn’t want to find out if he hates me. F-fucking coward.”

    Yunhyung reached out to steal away the bottle of rum from him. “You’re not a coward.”

    “I am. I’m a coward who can’t even tell h-him how m-much I love him b-because I’m scared.” Junhwe groaned, pressing the heels of his palms to his eyes in some last ditch effort to ignore everything. “H-he looked happy. H-he’s fucking happy w-without me! W-why should I ruin that with m-my b-bullshit?”

**\---busan present---**

    He moaned at the taste of light sweat on the other’s taut stomach, tracing the outlined muscles with his tongue; it’s been seven years and Donghyuk still has the same tanned abs. He peeked up to see the other male writhing against the hotel bed, hands digging into the sheets as he kept his eyes clenched.

    Junhwe smiled against his skin, his right hand reaching up to play random notes on his chest like a piano. His touch skittered across the skin, his lips trailing wet kisses down his muscles before pulling away. Donghyuk squirmed, whining at the loss of hot contact, eyes fluttering open to stare up at him.

    Nothing seemed to have really changed; his skin was still sun-kissed from years of playing on the beach, soft and smooth to the touch. Years of dancing had left him with strong thighs and well-defined abs while his shoulders had broadened out a bit. He was still sensitive, back arching at every feather light touch as he ran his calloused hands across his thick thighs.

    He moved between them, biting lightly to leave little possessive marks on the inside before pulling back again. He could see the way the smaller male clenched and unclenched, desperate for more as he ran his tongue over his skin.

    It was like he had stepped through a time machine, eyes hazy with unbridled lust and affection like they had years ago. He slipped back into his old habits; fingers dancing against his ribs, kisses on the inside of his thighs, threading his hands through his hair.

    “Fuck… Junhwe…” His voice was high-pitched, on the cusp of whining as his hands instinctively reached up to tangle in his black locks. He tugged gently, pulling him away from his legs and back up to his lips.

    The singer grinned into the kiss, pulling back softly; he hushed him quietly by pressing small kisses up and down his jaw. He pressed his lips against the smooth skin, occasionally nipping to leave a small red marks on the tan surface.

    Junhwe reached over towards the hotel nightstand, rummaging through the drawer before he curled his hand around a familiar bottle. Triumphantly pulling back, he uncapped the bottle, looking down to survey the flush of Donghyuk’s chest and his heaving breaths.

    Coating his fingers liberally, he leaned down to kiss him again, distracting him as pressed a finger against the smaller male. He was enveloped by heat, groaning into the other’s mouth at the tightness as he began to slowly pump his finger in and out, dragging along his walls.

    Donghyuk arched away from him when he pressed against him, lips parted in a silent moan, his heart beating erratically in the heat between them. “Fuck… Junhwe… M-More!”

    He slid in a second finger, watching with rapt interest at how the other’s face contorted blissfully, legs moving to wrap around his waist.

**\-----**

    They laid panting in the sheets, pooled in the middle as Donghyuk pressed the back of his hand against his sweaty forehead.

    There was a shift on his right; he looked over to see Junhwe prop himself on his elbow, grinning down at him mischievously. The taller male reached over to trace a finger along his bare skin, leaving him to shudder at the contact. He bit his lip awkwardly, “So, uh, h-how was that?”

    Donghyuk glanced at his face, internally smirking at the nervousness practically seeping out of him. It reminded him of their first time together, how awkward and nervous the other male was, fumbling clumsily with broken apologies and excuses. He shrugged sheepishly, “It was fine.”

    “Fine? Just fine?” He gawked indignantly, “Do I need to show you how amazing I am again?”

     He felt ticklish fingers run along his ribs, giggling away with a struggle. “No! Junhwe! Don’t!”

    “Say it! Say I’m the best!”

    He laughed, sinking into familiar territory when his phone rang loudly; he sat up straight, pushing away from Junhwe’s struggles to get him back to bed.

    “Come on, come back to bed. Just ignore it.”

    He ignored the other’s protests, answering the call with a breathless “Hello?”

_“Donghyuk! Hurry! Chanwoo-- He fainted! We’re at the hospital!”_

    “W-what? I’ll be there!” He hung up urgently, panic settling into his voice as he began rummaging through the room for his clothes.

    “Hey, what’s wrong? Donghyuk, what’s wrong? Is everything okay--”

    “Chanwoo fainted! And he’s at the hospital and I have to go to him now! Where the hell is my shirt!” He threw pillows out of his way, searching desperately.

    “What? Okay. I’ll drive.” Junhwe moved quickly, grabbing his own clothes before tossing a random shirt at the smaller male. “Just wear mine.”

    He nodded, pulling the loose T-shirt on before slipping into his worn sneakers. He scrambled to shove his phone in his pocket, patting the back of his jeans to ensure his wallet was there before he flew out the door. Donghyuk could hear the shuffle of feet behind him as he urgently pressed the elevator button, jumping on the balls of his feet as he waited for the doors to slide open.

    “Hey, it’s going to be okay.” Junhwe wrapped an arm around his shoulders, hugging him close.

    He buried himself in the other’s chest, tears pressing into the thin cotton shirt. “H-he’s all I-I have.” He sobbed, fists curling around the black shirt, material bunched in his hands.

    The singer softly shushed him, running a soothing hand up and down his spine before gently leading him into the open elevator. “Donghyuk, I promise I won’t let anything happen to our son.”

**\---busan flashback---**

_“Anemia: What it Means”_

_“Living With Anemia”_

_“How to Live with Anemia”_

    There were dozens of pamphlets about the condition scattered across his kitchen table. He stared at the glossy colorful paper, leafing through the small print and outdated graphics with a blank stare.

    “We’re here for you, Donghyuk. Anything you need.”

    He nodded dumbly; his brother’s words went in one ear and out the other.

    Silently, he stood up, the dining chair scratching across the laminate floors as he shuffled past his family and towards the single bedroom. He gently closed the door, clicking into place before he looked over at the crib pressed in the corner of the room. He quietly padded over, reaching in to softly wrap his arms around his son before pulling him out. Donghyuk cooed warmly as the baby stirred before he carefully laid out on the bed, tucking Chanwoo close to him as he traced over long lashes and puffy cheeks.

    He softly ran his fingers through the black tufts of hair, fingers smoothing over his skin as his vision blurred. “I love you, baby.”

**\---busan present---**

    Rushing towards the counter, he followed Donghyuk as he ran down another indiscriminate hallway after talking familiarly with a nurse.

    Junhwe skidded into a private room, glancing around to see Donghyuk’s brothers standing idly by. Chanwoo was laid out on the hospital bed, hooked up to various machines beeping lowly as a doctor stood close to check his vitals.

    “He should be fine now. We’re going to keep him overnight to keep an eye on him.” The doctor eyes Donghyuk with a familiar look, offering a small grin before he gently pats him on the back and waves at Hanbin.

    It grits his teeth how comfortably the doctor places a hand on Donghyuk but he clenches his jaw and turns away.

    “Thanks Bobby hyung.”

    “Anytime, Dong.” He smiles warmly at him again, moving forward to gently brush Chanwoo’s hair back.

    He feels the uncomfortable knot settling in his stomach again. Grinding his teeth, he spits out spitefully, “Anyone want to tell me what’s going on?”

    It seems everyone had just registered his presence; Mino and Hanbin turn to him with murderous glares; Jinwoo holds the former back with a tight frown and a unfamiliar figure grabs Hanbin’s arm before he can throw a punch. Donghyuk barely glances up, his hand still wrapped tightly around Chanwoo’s own small one while the doctor looks at him with a confused expression before finally connecting the dots.

    “I need everyone out.” His husband’s voice is soft, hoarse from choking back tears or maybe from earlier, he can’t be sure.

    “Donghyuk--”

    “Hanbin hyung, please.”

    The aforementioned male bites his lip before nodding tersely; he purposefully bumps against his shoulder as he walks out of the room, glaring at him without a word. He’s followed by the petite male who places a comforting a hand on Donghyuk before flashing a look of concern between them.

    Jinwoo practically drags Mino out but not without a warning stare and a frustrated sigh. His best friend barely looks at him, like he’s not worth it as he brushes past, barely acknowledging his presence.

    The doctor glances between them one last time, patting Donghyuk gently before he moves to shuffle out of the room. He glances at Junhwe, lips quirking up into a comforting smile before he places a warm hand on his shoulder. It’s a strange look before he completely exits the room, leaving the family in a tense silence.

    He stands awkwardly in the center of the room, too afraid to step forward, just watching the steady heaving of his son’s chest. Donghyuk looms over him protectively, unflinching as the beeping of the monitor fills the silence.

    The singer stuffs his hands in his pockets, clearing his throat softly, “D-Donghyuk? What’s going on?” He chides himself for stuttering but stands his ground.

    There’s a quiet sigh before the smaller male finally pulls away from the child; he looks up at Junhwe with lost eyes. “Chanwoo has anemia. He was born with it.”

    “W-what is that?”

    “It means he doesn’t produce enough red blood cells .” He moved to comfortingly run a hand through their son’s hair, watching him sleep. “He has to take iron supplements everyday but sometimes they’re not enough. I’m usually here with him when something like this happens.” He took a deep, shuddering breath.

    “Isn’t… Isn’t there something else we can do? That the doctors can do?”

    Donghyuk doesn’t say anything, brushing his hair back. “Blood transfusion.”

    “Then, let’s do that.”

    He shook his head lightly, “Chanwoo is born with a rare blood type. No one in my family matches him--”

    “What about me?”

    “What?” He looks up at him with teary eyes.

    “I’m his father so I should match.”

    He looks exhausted, turning back to Chanwoo with slow movements. “Whatever happened tonight can’t happen again.”

    Junhwe freezes, “What?”

    “Whatever happened earlier can’t mean anything.”

    “Why not?” His breathing shortens.

    “I can’t have you decide to play daddy or husband or whatever whenever you feel like it and then run off when you decide it’s not a good fit for you. I can’t let you… I can’t let you do that to us.”

    The “ _to me_ ” is implied and it rings loudly in his head. He stares at Donghyuk’s back, watching him breath steadily, leaning forward to try and reach for him.

    He stops when his phone buzzes loudly in his pocket, cursing as he fishes it out of his jacket. “Hello?” His voice is sharp, basically barking at the other line.

_“Whoa, dude. No need to bite my head off.”_

    He pinches the bridge of his nose, “What do you want, Jungkook?”

_“Rude. I was just calling to see if you saw the news.”_

    “What news?”

_“Uh, Koo Junhwe spotted at hotel with mystery man?”_

    “Shit. Look, I really don’t have time to talk about this--”

_“Dude, Lisa is mad. She’s driving down to Busan right now.”_

    “What? She’s coming? Here?”

_“Yeah. She was yelling and screaming--”_

    He hangs up without another word; the singer looks back at his family, the family he gave up. “Donghyuk…”

    “Please, just leave.”

    He doesn’t want to; he wants to stand his ground and fight for what is his but the defeated tone of the other’s voice makes him reconsider. With a solemn nod, he turns on his heel, silently closing the hospital room door after exiting.

    Junhwe barely has time to register his thoughts when he’s pressed harshly against the wall, an arm crushing his windpipe as he stares down Hanbin with a panicked glare.

    Jinwoo barely manages to paw his brother off of him, chastising in hushed whispers as Mino stares daggers into his face.

    He instinctively reaches around his neck, wincing at the soreness before looking up to level a glare at his brother-in-law. Roughly, he growls, “What the hell?”

    Hanbin doesn’t mince his words, never has. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

    He doesn’t either. “I’m here to see my husband and our son.”

    Mino scoffs, interrupting the two of them. “Oh, now he’s your husband? I thought he was a burden. Something that was holding you back from your dream?”

    Junhwe winces at the clarity and animosity seeping in his former best friend’s voice. “Look, you don’t know what you’re talking about--”

    “You’re right, we don’t know what we’re talking about. All we know is for the last seven years we’ve had to piece our brother back together.” Hanbin spits out bitterly. “You know, when you came to me to ask me if you could marry Donghyuk, I told you I only wanted one thing. To never see him cry, but why is that I’ve seen him cry more in the last seven years than in the year our parents died?” The other male glares at him before sighing heavily, storming out of the hallway without a second glance.

    “Hanbin, wait! Come back!” The shortest male chases after him, sparing them all one last look.

    “You know we were all happy when you got into YG.” Jinwoo whispers softly. “Donghyuk always made sure to buy your albums. Said he was happy you got your dream.” He takes Mino’s hand, tugging him away quietly as they exited the hospital.

    Junhwe stands in the middle of the hallway, staring down at his shoes angrily before slamming a fist into a wall. “Fuck!”

 


	3. dul

**\---busan present---**

_        Crash! _

“And to find out from the fucking tabloids! Do you know how embarrassing that is? God, this is going to ruin my image!” 

She throws another glass at the hotel wall. 

“Even my parents saw those trashy magazines and they’re asking me what this means! Junhwe! Are you listening to me right now?”

He sighs, leaning against the wall before finally looking over at his fiance. “I know. I saw. It’s nothing. Just. Just forget about it.”

“No! I don’t want to forget about it! I want to talk about it! We need to release a statement soon so our fans will know that we’re okay. We need to show them we’re still pop’s hottest couple and we can’t do that if you’re not listening to me!”

He looks over at her with exhaustion, drained from having a meaningless conversation for the umpteenth time. “Nothing happened. We’re still getting married. That’s it.”

She stared back at him; her eyes burned furiously. “Fine. Fine, we’re still getting married.” Lisa was malicious when she wanted to be. “Then I want the wedding here.”

“What?”

“I want the wedding here, in Busan. It’s fitting, don’t you think? It’s where you grew up. It’ll be romantic. We can find local vendors to do everything here.”

“Lisa--”

“We’ll even get catering done here.”

“Lisa, stop--”

“You want me to forget about it, right? What better way than to say that the man you met at the hotel was a local vendor for the wedding? It’s the perfect cover up and no one will suspect anything.”

He doesn’t argue, staring at her, watching her as she moves toward the bathroom. 

“I’m taking a bath. This day has been stressful.” 

**\---busan flashback---**

“Hey.”

He looked up from burying his feet in the sand. 

“Everyone’s really worried.”

Junhwe sits down next to him, looking out at the ocean. 

They sit in brief silence before the taller male reaches over to wrap an arm around his shoulders, thin frame engulfed by the funeral attire. “You can cry if you want to.”

He doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t move for a long minute before he breaks into a heart-wrenching sob. “They’re really gone, Junhwe! I-I’m never going to see them again. I won’t ever get to call her mom. I won’t get to talk with my dad. T-they’re gone.” He buries his face into Junhwe’s shoulder. “I just… I couldn’t stand there. I couldn’t watch it.”

Junhwe nods quietly, shushing him; he doesn’t mind that Donghyuk is sobbing into the dark black fabric of his suit jacket. He doesn’t care that his pants are being ruined by the cold wet sand. He just waits patiently for him. “I know it hurts. And I know nothing I say will ever make it better. But I promise I will do whatever it takes to make you happy again. I promise.”

**\---busan present---**

“Hello? Uh, I’m looking for Donghyuk?”

He peered out of the kitchen to see Mino talking to someone. “Yes?”

“Oh, Donghyuk!”

He froze, letting the other male envelope in a hug before pulling away. “J-Jungkook-ssi.”

“I wasn’t sure where to find you so I had to beg Junhwe’s manager. It’s so good to see you! Is this where you work?” The idol looked around in awe. “This place is so cute! No wonder Lisa wants you guys to cater the wedding!”

He doesn’t move, staring at Jungkook who moves around the restaurant with relative ease, flitting around comfortably. “W-wedding? C-cater? Lisa?”

“Yeah, didn’t Junhwe tell you? They decided to move the wedding here and Lisa wanted all the local vendors from Junhwe’s childhood.” He says it like it’s the easiest thing in the world. 

His entire being freezes.

Then moves in light speed when Chanwoo runs through the door, home from school.

“Daddy!” 

Moving mechanically, he bent down to hold Chanwoo, bringing him up against his hip. “Hey buddy. How was school?”

“We painted! I made you a painting!”

“For me? Why don’t you go put your things away and show me?”

“Okay!”

He gently sets the child down, watching him disappear into the kitchen, followed by Jinhwan who flashes him a wry smile before checking on Chanwoo. 

“You have a son?”

Donghyuk turned around slowly, glancing up at Jungkook. “Yes.”

“Oh.” The syllable is quiet. “Sorry, you just, you seem really young so I figured you were single.”

“I am single.”

“Your partner…?”

“Isn’t around.” He doesn’t offer any other words after that, turning around to get back to work, ignoring the other man’s questionable stare. 

“Oh.” The second time that syllable has left him on edge. “Well, you’re very brave for raising him alone.”

He stops for a brief second. It’s the first time anyone has said that to him. Most people judge him for being a single parent, chalking it up to bad life decisions or something. And he knows his brothers and friends say it all the time but it’s not the same. 

He glances over at Jungkook who offers a small smile, “Thank you.”

**\-----**

“What? Okay, you two are definitely cheating!”

He laughs loudly, “I told you, Jinwoo hyung and Chanwoo just have this weird telepathic connection so you can’t beat them at pictionary.”

“Okay, but look at that drawing! Jinwoo hyung’s drawing looks like a chicken had a stroke on the paper!”

The table fills with louder laughter.

“Uncle Jungkook, you’re funny.” Chanwoo grins up at the other man. 

“I’m not funny, Chanwoo. I’m handsome. How many times do I have to tell you?”

The little kid shrugs, no longer interested in the conversation. 

Donghyuk moves to start clearing away dishes, “Mrs. Park brought over some chocolate chip cookies. And everyone can have  _ one _ cookie.” He stares pointedly at his son. 

“Yes daddy.” 

“Here, let me help.” Jungkook stands up as well, ignoring the pens and reaching for the empty plates and used utensils.

“You don’t have to. You’re our guest.” Donghyuk shoots a look at his brothers who shrug sheepishly, not moving from their seats to assist them.

“It’s fine. You guys have been way too nice. It’s the least I could do.” Jungkook gathers everything, heading towards the kitchen. 

He follows soon afterwards, ignoring the look his brothers shoot him. 

“You have a very lovely family.”

Donghyuk looked over at Jungkook who was already elbows deep in the sink, carefully washing each plate. “Thank you.”

“You know, I never understood why Junhwe wanted to leave this place so much. It was almost like he was trying to erase it from his past.”

His hands tremble around the cup he’s drying.

“I always thought, a quiet life where no one knows who you are would be nice.” The other male carefully places the silverware in a stack off to the side to dry off. “Maybe, it’s because I debuted so young. I never really got to have a normal life.” 

Nodding softly, he tried not to look over at Jungkook’s tall form. 

“But I like it. I like it here.”

He sucks in a deep breath. 

“I like you.” He whispers softly.

It’s then that he realizes that Jungkook’s done washing dishes and he’s been drying the same cup for the past three minutes. It’s then that he realizes Jungkook has moved from the sink and towards him, looking at him softly. 

He’s moving closer and he should stop this; stop this because his son is just a few meters away. Stop this because he barely knows the guy. Stop this because Junhwe--

“What the hell is this?”

They jump apart like they’ve been electrocuted, glancing over at the kitchen entryway to see the man himself. 

“Hey, Junhwe, I thought you went back up to Seoul with Lisa?” Jungkook looks nonchalant, leaning against the counter. 

Junhwe’s eyes dart between them before he offers Jungkook a tense smile. “She went up to see her parents. I told her I was going to look at the local vendors before I met up with her.” 

“Oh, cool. Well, I was helping Donghyuk with the dishes. He’s an amazing cook, by the way. Have you tried his stir-fry? It’s to die for.”

He stares at his feet, cheeks pink. “It’s nothing really.”

“You’re being humble.” Jungkook wipes his hands on a dishtowel before walking away. “I’ll see you in Seoul, Junhwe.” He grins warmly. “Donghyuk, I’m expecting a rematch tomorrow. We’re totally going to beat Chanwoo and Jinwoo hyung!” 

He then leaves them alone, door swinging shut behind him. 

“What was that?”

Donghyuk does his best to look aloof. “What was what?”

“Don’t play dumb. I’m talking about that. That almost kiss with my best friend.”

“Funny, I thought Mino was your best friend.”

“Don’t fucking start with that shit. I want to talk about whatever the hell that was.”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” He began maneuvering around the space, placing dishes away. 

He feels a hand wrap around his wrist. “It’s my business because you’re my husband.”

“ _ Ex-husband _ . I signed the papers. We’re done. And you don’t get to say anything about what I do or don’t do in my private life.” He glared up at the other male. “I didn’t say anything about your engagement and I expect the same respect.”

Junhwe lets him go like he’s been burned, watching him walk out of the kitchen.

**\---busan flashback---**

“Okay, just don’t look at it. Just close your eyes and take a bite, I swear, it’s good!” 

“Seems a bit early to start trying to poison your husband.” Junhwe grimaced as he poked at the food on his plate. 

“Please, I haven’t taken out your life insurance yet. You’re worth nothing to me.” Donghyuk watched him carefully. “Just try it!”

“Fine.” He dramatically sighed, “I’m doing this out of love.” He flinches jokingly when Donghyuk slaps his arm, finally shoveling the stir fry into his mouth. He chews slowly, gauging the other’s nervous reaction before breaking out into a grin. “It’s good!” 

“Really?”

“Yeah, I kind of don’t believe you made it because of how good it tastes.”

Donghyuk’s ears turn pink, ducking his head to hide the inevitable blush. 

**\---busan present---**

“I want the arch over here so when the sun sets, the light shines over us.” 

He nodded, not really paying attention as Lisa rambled on with their wedding planner. 

“And the string quartet will be over there. And I want pink roses. I want the entire aisle to be lined with pink roses.”

“What about lilies for the reception?”

“Ugh, I hate lilies.” Lisa frowned at the wedding planner. “I want pink roses for the ceremony and red ones for the reception.” 

“I’m not sure there will be enough roses in Busan--”

“Then import them from Seoul. It has to be roses. They’re my favorite.”

“Yes, ma’am.” She jotted away in her little pad. “Have you thought about catering?”

“Junhwe wanted his parents’ old restaurant to cater. Jungkook said it was good but I don’t know if I want such a small place to cater such a big event. Bom, get me a list of the twenty best caterers in Busan and we’ll go from there.”

“I want them to cater it.”

“What?”

“I want the End of the Sea restaurant to cater it. My parents used to own it. It would mean a lot to me if they catered it.”

“But--”

“Lisa.” 

“Fine.”

He’s always been a masochist. 

**\---busan flashback---**

He stared at his lap, taking deep breaths as his family crowded in the tiny living room. 

“Donghyuk.” Jinwoo’s voice was soft, “We’ll support your decision no matter what. You know that, right?”

His brothers reached over to hold his hand, running smooth circles over them as he felt his lungs shrink with every stuttering breath. Donghyuk closed his eyes for a long second, nodding carefully as he didn’t trust himself to talk. 

There was a long pause that washed over the apartment before Mino spoke up finally. 

“Are you going to tell him?”

**\---seoul present---**

“Have you seen my Jimmy Choos?”

“What?” He tore himself away from the television screen, glancing up to see his fiance pacing around the hotel room in a pink slip dress. 

“My shoes? The studded Jimmy Choos? I swear I packed them.”

“What’s the big deal? We’re going out to dinner not a fashion show.”

“The big deal is there’s going to be cameras everywhere. Not necessarily paparazzi, but fans with social media who will post about how we look. Ugh, I’m just going to wear my Manolo Blahniks and change my dress.”

“You don’t have to change everything--”

“Yes, I do!” 

He rolled his eyes, turning back to the television with a bored look. 

“Have you met the guy Jungkook’s been raving about?”

“What?”

She stepped out of the bathroom, changed into a leather miniskirt and a sheer blouse. “The guy that Jungkook’s bringing to dinner? Jenny said he would not shut up about him.”

“He, he didn’t say anything to me.” He looked away, trying his best to look nonchalant. 

“Well, Jenny said he’s completely gone on this guy. Says she hasn’t seen him like this ever. Chaeyoung apparently overheard him saying he might retire from the spotlight.”

His jaw tightens but he nods solemnly, “Oh, really?”

“I wonder what he’s like...“

**\-----**

“It’s going to be tasteful. We’re having the wedding at a hotel overlooking the sea. At sunset which let’s face it, is the ideal lighting.” Lisa showed off photos from her phone, bragging about the venue to the rest of her friends as he leaned back in the leather seat. 

“Are we still having the bachelor party in Seoul?”

Junhwe looked over at Yugyeom, grinning crookedly, “I was thinking Vegas. I mean, why not go all out?”

They shared a high five while the girls rolled their eyes at them. 

“You guys better not be planning the bachelor party without me.” 

They turned around to see Jungkook strut into the private room. 

“I thought you weren’t going to make it.” Jenny pouted.

“I’m only forty minutes late. I would’ve been here sooner but Donghyuk’s train got delayed.”

He froze, staring down at his wine glass; Junhwe refused to make eye contact as the rest of their table greeted Jungkook and Donghyuk.

“Train? You’re not from Seoul?”

“Oh, no. I live in Busan. I’m sorry if you were all waiting for me.”

“Busan! Oh, you must know Junhwe’s from Busan then.”

There was a hesitant pause; brief enough that nobody noticed but he could hear the hitch in the other’s voice. 

“We actually went to high school together.”

“Yeah, Junhwe kind of introduced us. Although, he threw a pillow at me when I asked him if Dong was single. Guess it’s just him being protective of his friend.”

The table laughed. 

He chuckled humorlessly, finally pulling away from his glass to look across the table at Donghyuk. “Wouldn’t want you guys sharing embarrassing stories about me.” 

His ex shifts uncomfortably, smile tight as Jungkook reaches over to wrap an arm around his shoulders. 

His grip tightens around the stem of his wine glass. 

**\-----**

“So, Donghyuk-ssi, tell us what do you do in Busan?” 

He spoke shyly under the scrutiny of all these models and singers, “I own a small restaurant near the coast.”

“All by yourself?”

“Well, with my brothers and their partners. They usually like to help me out.”

“Don’t forget Chanwoo. He plays a big role.” Jungkook grinned.

Donghyuk laughed softly. “Of course, he makes sure everyone gets a candy at the end of their meal.”

“Chanwoo is…?” Lisa looked curiously at him.

“My son.”

“Oh, wow. You’re a single parent? That must be so hard.” Jenny nodded sympathetically.

“Sometimes, yeah. But my family is always there to help so it’s not so bad.”

“Actually,” Jungkook paused, glancing at his watch. “We should get going if we want to catch the last train back to Busan.”

“Leaving already?”

“Sorry, it’s just, my son has a doctor’s appointment tomorrow.”

“Yeah, kind of dragged him out to Seoul to meet you guys.” Jungkook slid out of his seat, helping him out of the booth. “But, I’ll catch you guys next week. Don’t plan the bachelor party without me.” He winked at the group. 

Donghyuk bid his farewells, biting his lip for a quick second as he waved at Junhwe before following Jungkook out of the restaurant. 

**\-----**

The train chugs forward, trees peeking out of the snow covered lots as they smoothly pass them by. Donghyuk leaned back in his seat, staring out the window silently as they moved further and further away from Seoul. 

“Hey, you okay? You seemed pretty quiet at dinner.”

He glanced up to see Jungkook staring back in concern, reaching out to grab one of his hands in a comforting motion. Donghyuk gathered all the strength he had to flash a small smile, “Just tired.”

Jungkook nods, leaning back to settle into his own seat. “You should’ve told me. I would’ve made up some excuse for us to leave.”

“It’s fine. I think my blood sugar was low or something today.”

The other man pauses, studying him for a moment before he brushes it off. “Do you need a ride tomorrow to the hospital?”

Donghyuk shook his head, offering a soft smile. “No, Hanbin hyung said he’s got the day off tomorrow from the record shop so he’ll drop me off before he heads to the studio.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. It’s fine.”

“Okay, just let me know if something changes.”

“Thanks.” He blushed as Jungkook brought his hand up to his lips, brushing over them softly. 

**\---busan present---**

Walking through the long familiar hallways, he waved at some of the more recognizable nurses before turning into Dr. Kim’s office. 

“Oh, Donghyuk, you’re here. I was just explaining to your husband about Chanwoo’s condition.” 

He glanced over at the seat to see Junhwe with a handful of pamphlets.  _ Ex-husband, _ he wants to correct. 

“Hey, Chanwoo! How you feeling this week?”

His son immediately leapt out of his arms, jogging towards Bobby with a wild grin. “Uncle Bobby!”

“Hey buddy.” Bobby easily caught him, ruffling his hair. “Why don’t we go say hi to some of the other nurses and maybe one of them will give you a lollipop.” 

“Okay!”

“Okay!” The doctor grinned, “I’m going to go run some tests. He’ll be back soon.”

“Thanks, Bobby hyung.” Donghyuk nodded tersely, flashing his son a quick smile.

“No worries, kiddo.” He smiled warmly, gently closing the door behind him. 

There was a brief pause. 

“Why are you here?”

“I want to start paying for Chanwoo’s treatments.”

“What?”

“His treatments. I want to start paying for them.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s my son and you’re obviously having trouble--”

“Oh, obviously.” He mocked. “Look, yes, it’s been tough, but I don’t need your handouts.”

“It’s not a handout!” Junhwe snapped. 

He froze, wide-eyed. 

His ex took a deep breath, “I’m not… I’m not doing this because I think it’ll make up for the last seven years or something. I want to do this because he’s my son.” 

Donghyuk breathes slowly, “Fine. Okay. But don’t… Just warn me a little next time.”

Junhwe grins, “Of course.”

**\-----**

“The usual treatments are iron supplements, however, Chanwoo has a history of bad reactions to them. The best would be a blood transfusion. Every few months or so, would be ideal.”

“For how long?”

“It depends on the patient, really. Sometimes it’s a year. Sometimes, it’s for the rest of a patient’s life.” Bobby seems calm, smiling softly as Donghyuk rocks Chanwoo slowly against his chest. “These treatments can be quite costly.” 

“Money is not an issue.” Junhwe interrupts, glaring at the doctor. 

“Of course, Mr. Koo. I’m merely informing you. We can get you tested next week and hopefully get Chanwoo a transfusion by next month. In the meantime, you might want to cut back on the alcohol and red meat.” 

“Thanks, hyung.” Donghyuk moves with a comfortable familiarity; Chanwoo is fast asleep against his shoulder, hand tightly wrapped in his sweater as he drifts. 

“It was nice meeting you, Mr. Koo. I’ll see you next week at Hanbin’s birthday party, Donghyuk.”

The shorter male grinned, “See you, hyung.”

They quietly exited the doctor’s office, standing awkwardly in the clinic. 

“So, uh, next week.”

“Yeah. Uh, I could probably get Jinwoo hyung to cover the register so I can meet you here.” 

He nods slowly, “Yeah, sounds good.”

They stand alone for another long second. 

“Do you need a ride?”

Donghyuk hums softly. “What?”

“A ride? I, uh, have my car and Chanwoo looks pretty knocked out right now.”

“It’s fine. I was just going to call Hanbin hyung--”

“No! I mean, I can give you a ride. You don’t need to call him.”

“Uh, okay, then.” 

**\-----**

The car ride is silent as they drive through the busy streets of Busan and towards the scattered outskirts by the beach. There’s a soft stream of pop music coming from the radio as they smoothly navigate through the city. 

Donghyuk glanced behind his seat, making sure Chanwoo was still fast asleep, huddled into the back seat with the safety belt strapped across his small body. He smiled softly as he realized that his son’s mouth was open, nose twitching slightly when the A/C blew his way. He reached back to tuck his jacket around the small figure before turning towards the A/C controls and turning them down. 

He glanced away from the controls, peeking at Junhwe as he focused on the road ahead of him. 

“You’re good with him.”

Junhwe didn’t even look away from the road, grip tight around the steering wheel. 

Donghyuk ducked his head, staring at his hands, before quietly whispering, “Thanks.”

“I just… I want to say I’m sorry.”

He shot up curiously, staring at his profile. 

“I didn’t mean… Back then, I was stupid and immature.”

He could see his knuckles turning white around the wheel.

“I shouldn’t have blamed you or said you were holding me back. I was just frustrated and I took it out on you and that’s not fair.”

“Junhwe--”

“I’m just really sorry.” He pulled up to the curb of the restaurant, gently putting the car in park as they sat in silence. 

“Junhwe?” His voice was soft, drawing the other man to finally look at him. “I’m happy you finally got your dream. You were right. You were made for something bigger than this town.” He slipped out of the seat, opening the back car door to grab Chanwoo. “I really hope you and Lisa are happy.”

**\-----**

“I always thought K-pop idols would be too busy to hang out with normal citizens.” Donghyuk flashed Jungkook a teasing grin. “You must not be very popular.”

The singer squawked, throwing him a playful glare with a frustrated huff. “I’ll have you know I’m very popular. I was voted most eligible bachelor three years in a row.”

He laughed, looking away to watch as Chanwoo climbed on the playground set, hanging upside down on the bars. “Oh. What an honor to be here with Korea’s most eligible bachelor.”

Jungkook could barely hide his smile. “It is an honor. Not everyone gets to hang out with the most handsome, single man in Korea.”

“I never said handsome.”

The taller male whined, pouting at him. “You’re messing with me, right? I mean, I know I can be narcissistic, but I’m handsome, right?”

Donghyuk grinned before nodding reassuringly, “Yes, you’re handsome, Jungkook-ssi.”

“Hey,” Jungkook looked at him softly, “Please just call me Jungkook.”

His cheeks pinked, “Okay… Jungkook.”

**\-----**

_        Knock knock! _

He threw a glance over his shoulder, turning back to turn the stove onto a low simmer as he wiped his hands on a clean dishtowel. He shuffled past the living room where Chanwoo was engrossed in some children’s TV show, ignoring the pile of Legos that Jinhwan had bought to help ‘encourage creative building.’

Donghyuk swung open the front door with a friendly smile, freezing as Junhwe came into view. Junhwe in his impeccable designer clothes and leather shoes. Junhwe in all of his flawless, idol glory. 

“June.” His voice sounded breathless, wispy between them. 

“H-hi.” The taller male sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, staring down at his shoes. “I, uh, brought some cookies from the bakery we used to…” He doesn’t finish the thought but they both know. 

Donghyuk shook his head to clear his thoughts. “Well, um, thank you.” He gracefully took the bag of warm desserts. 

They stood in silence for another few seconds. 

“Well, then, I should go.”

He should let him leave. Let him go like he did seven years ago. 

“Do you want to eat dinner with us?”

Junhwe turns around slowly with wide eyes. “W-what?”

“Dinner.” He held the bag closer as if to shield himself from something. “I’m almost done cooking.”

“I don’t want to intrude.” But he looks hopeful.

“Hanbin hyung is at the studio with his husband and Mino hyung and Jinwoo hyung are at the restaurant. You’re not, you’re not intruding.”

The taller male nods gratefully, quietly stepping into the same apartment he once lived in.

“Chanwoo’s watching his favorite cartoon show so you might be forced to watch that. Otherwise, make yourself comfortable on the couch.” He swayed into the kitchen, dropping off the cookies on the counter before turning back to the stove to finish up. “Chanwoo, go wash your hands for dinner.” 

“But daddy--”

“Now.” He chuckled as he heard his son make his way to the bathroom, water splashing in the sink. 

“Do you need any help?”

Donghyuk startled, darting around to see his ex awkwardly hanging in the kitchen. “Oh, uh, if you could set up the table that’d be helpful.”

Junhwe nodded, shuffling around to begin setting the table. 

“Daddy, who’s this?” Chanwoo shuffled into the dining room, climbing into one of the chairs as he stared at Junhwe.

“This is daddy’s friend. And he’s going to be eating dinner with us.”

“Okay!” Chanwoo answered cheerfully before turning to face the singer again. “Do you like Pokemon?” 

Junhwe cleared his throat, obviously looking at him for help but he shrugged, biting back a smile at how terrified his ex looked by the small child. “I love Pokemon.”

“Me too! Uncle Mino got me the newest game!” Chanwoo began launching into a tirade of all his favorite pokemon, drawing Junhwe into a lively conversation.

**\-----**

“And then as the tiger walked into heaven, he was greeted by the kumiho who told him, “I have been waiting all day for you.” And they lived happily together in heaven where they were met with all of their old animal friends. The end.” He gently closed the picture book, glancing down to see Chanwoo fast asleep, tucked under warm sheets. 

He reached over to gently run his fingers through his hair, silently studying his features with understated awe. He had a son. He had a six year old son that he knew nothing about. He had spent the last seven years worrying about himself and now he was a father.

“Hey.”

Junhwe pulled his gaze away from Chanwoo, look at Donghyuk who was leaning against the doorframe. 

“Do you want some tea? I have Earl Grey and chamomile.” 

He nodded, glancing down at his son one last time before slowly standing up, careful not to disturb the child. 

**\-----**

They sat in silence, staring at the two cups of steaming hot tea placed on the kitchen table. 

“I’m--”

“I just--”

They both paused, staring at each other. 

Junhwe cleared his throat, “You go first.” 

“Okay.” Donghyuk wrapped his hands around the warm mug. “I just wanted… To say I’m sorry for not telling you. You were right, it was unfair of me to keep that from you. It was me being selfish and immature.” He stared at his cup. “If you want, we could set up some sort of custody agreement where you can spend the weekend with him every other week.”

He nodded solemnly, staring at his hands before tugging his sleeves down. “I would… I would really like that.” He took a deep breath. “Thank you.”

Donghyuk smiled softly. “Weren’t you saying something?”

“Oh, I, uh,” He struggled to find the right words. “I was just wondering if Chanwoo knew… Knows me…?”

His ex looked away, gaze cast downward as his shoulders heaved with a long sigh. “No.”

“Oh.” 

The one word hangs in the air.

**\---busan flashback---**

“Hey, June?”

“Yeah?” He didn’t bother opening his eyes, too relaxed as he sprawled out on the warm beach. 

“What’s going to happen after we graduate?”

“What do you mean?” He peeked up to see Donghyuk hovering over him, fingers combing through his hair. 

“It’s just… We never really talked about our future.”

“I know my future.”

“You do?” Donghyuk looked down at him curiously.

“Of course, it’s being your husband.”

The smaller male blushed. “I’m being serious here.”

Junhwe sat up, looking down at Donghyuk with a small smile. “I’m being serious too.”

**\---seoul present---**

“Junhwe, stop.” A hand wrapped around his wrist, stopping him from pouring another glass of whiskey. 

“Leave m-me alone.” He hiccupped, tugging away from the other person. 

“Junhwe.” The voice sounded tired, exhausted.

He gave up, falling limp against the table as he stared at his empty glass, surrounded by several near-empty bottles. He brought a hand up, covering his eyes as he felt tears welling in them. “I-I thought I w-was happy. You know, I was s-successful… I had e-everything! But now... “ He trailed off before slamming a fist against the table. “Fuck! Yunhyung, why am I such a shitty person?”

His manager looked at him solemnly, patting him softly. “You’re not a bad person.”

“But I am! I threw away everything! I threw away the best thing in my life for, for this! This empty life of parties and girls and money. I could have… I have a son, Yunhyung. A son! And he doesn’t even know me. He thinks I’m just some stranger on TV or something.”

“Junhwe, you didn’t know--”

“Yeah, and that’s my fault! I pushed Donghyuk away! I told him he was a burden! I made him think he wasn’t worth anything to me. I made him think that I didn’t want him.”

“Junhwe--”

“You know what he said to me? He said, I really hope you and Lisa are happy. And he meant it. I could see it in his eyes. He really meant it. I’m still this shitty person and he’s still this amazing guy.”

The other male doesn’t offer any more words, instead, letting Junhwe fall against his shoulder, sobbing. 

**\---busan present---**

“Is everything okay?”

He glanced over his shoulder to see Jinhwan staring back in concern. Donghyuk nodded tiredly, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.” He tried to wave off the other’s concern, turning back to finish sweeping the floors. 

“You’ve been sweeping the floors for the last thirty minutes.”

“Oh.” He pulled back, propping the broom against the wall.

“I just put Chanwoo down for a nap if you want to talk.”

He pondered the offer, wringing his wrists before glancing around to make sure the rest of the family was out of hearing distance. “I’ve just been thinking lately… Hyung, do you think it’s a good idea to tell Chanwoo about… About Junhwe?”

Jinhwan wore a soft look, studying for a moment before he shrugged. “It’s your decision and I,  _ we _ , will all support you no matter what.” He paused. “I don’t know the whole story of what happened between you guys. I really only know what you’ve told me.” Jinhwan took a deep breath. “But I think Junhwe should get to know his son. And Chanwoo should get to know his father.”

Nodding, he turned away with a deep sigh. “Yeah. You’re right.” 

**\-----**

“Do you ever think about moving?”

He looked away from the day’s receipts, peering curiously at Jungkook. “To where?”

“I don’t know, to Seoul?”

Donghyuk shook his head, focusing on the calculations. “No. Seoul never seemed right for me.”

“Why not?”

He shrugged, tucking away everything in his notepad. “Just seemed too flashy.”

“Flashy?” Jungkook tilted his head.

Nodding softly, “It always seemed too good to be true. Like it promises all these things of a city life with fast cars and nice apartments with the latest technology. But that’s only for the select few. Most people have to work their whole lives. It just seemed… Like a lie.”

“Oh.” Jungkook nods, pushing away from the counter as he followed him into the kitchen. 

“Why?”

“No reason. Just curious.” He smiled warmly. “I have to go to Seoul next week for Junhwe and Lisa’s engagement party.”

He pauses, throwing some dishes in the sink before turning to get some things ready for tomorrow’s rush. “Oh.”

“And I want you to be my date.”

Donghyuk turned slowly, letting Jungkook box him in against the kitchen counter. “A date?”

“W-well, yeah.” Jungkook blushed, trying his best to remain cool. “I mean, that’s what people do, right? W-when they like someone?”

“I don’t know… I wouldn’t really know anyone there.”

“You know me. And you know Junhwe.”

“I don’t think I’ll fit in with all the singers and idols.”

“It’ll be fine.” Jungkook smiled, flashing his pearly white teeth, “Please?”

He sighed, “I-I’ll try. I can’t promise anything.”

“That’s fine.” The singer’s lips stretched wider. “I promise you’ll have fun.” 

**\-----**

“--happy birthday dear Hanbin! Happy birthday to you!”

“Chanwoo-ya! Help me blow out the candles!” Hanbin sat his nephew on his knees, grinning widely as Chanwoo did his best to blow out the candles. Everyone clapped excitedly as the flames disappeared, smiling as a camera flash went off somewhere. 

“Cake! Cake! Cake!” Chanwoo began chanting, jumping up and down his uncle’s lap. 

Donghyuk laughed, grabbing some paper plates and a large plastic knife to help cut the dessert. “Okay, now Uncle Hanbin gets the first piece because it’s his birthday.”

His son nodded his understanding, making sure not to grab excitedly at the plate. “Me next!”

His family laughed while Hanbin had already fed a bite to the child. Jinhwan made sure to wipe his face free of chocolate frosting before helping him take a bite of his own slice of cake. 

“Speech! I think we need a speech from the birthday boy!” Bobby held up a beer, flipping another burger on the grill as he grinned at Hanbin. 

The aforementioned male sighed playfully, hiding behind his cake before finally standing up to address the party. “I think first and foremost, I want to thank my wonderful husband for another great year together.”

Everyone cooed as Jinhwan grinned up at him. 

“Secondly, I want to thank my great friends and family for being here. I know I say this every year but I’m really lucky to have you guys in my life. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

He looked like he was going to say more when a knock interrupted them. 

Everyone glanced at the restaurant’s entrance before Donghyuk stood up from his seat, shuffling towards the door and sliding it open. “Yes?”

“Oh, Donghyuk-ssi!”

He froze; Lisa smiled widely at him, her arms curled around Junhwe who looked guilty as they stood in front of the diner. 

“L-Lisa-ssi…”

“Is this a bad time? We were looking for the owner to discuss catering the wedding.”

“Uh--”

“This is a private event.”

He glanced up to see Mino hovering protectively beside him. 

“Oh, I’m sorry! We don’t come down to Busan all that often so we were hoping to use this rare opportunity to talk to the manager or someone--”

“You’ll have to come back later--”

“Mino hyung!” He chastised lowly. “I’m sorry, Lisa-ssi. I’m the owner and I’d be happy to discuss catering--”

“Really? That’s great!” She gushed happily, shuffling through the door and into the restaurant, dragging him along.

He glanced over his shoulder to see Mino and Junhwe talking in low tones before stepping out of the establishment. 

**\-----**

Walking towards the nearby park, he watched slowly as Mino pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket. 

“I didn’t know you smoked.” Junhwe commented casually, sliding onto the hard wooden bench. 

The other male shrugged. “Something I picked up after high school. Jinwoo hyung’s been trying to get me to quit for years. Been awhile since I smoked actually.” He pulled one out, digging into his jacket to grab a lighter. Mino inhaled slowly before exhaling a large puff of smoke. “But I always carry them around.”

They sat in silence, staring at the bare autumn leaves hanging onto the cold tree branches. 

“Why are you here, Junhwe?”

He looked up, studying the other’s stoic profile before sighing and looking away. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.”

“Lisa wanted to come.”

“Is that all? She wanted to come so you said yes?”

“Well, yeah. She’s my fiance--”

“Which is why you should tell her to leave. You of all people, should know why she shouldn’t come here.”

“Mino--”

“We haven’t seen each other in seven years, man. Seven fucking years.” He threw the cigarette on the ground, stomping on it. “We were best friends. We always had each other’s backs. And you just… You just left.”

“Look, I’m sorry about that. I really am.” 

“You know, we always thought you would come back. We always figured you would realize how much Donghyuk meant to you, how much you meant to him, and you’d come back. But…” He shakes his head like it’s not worth finishing the thought. “Jungkook’s a good kid, yeah? He’s good with Chanwoo.”

Junhwe didn’t comment, just glared at the pavement beneath his shoes. 

“You spent the last seven years pretending we don’t exist. Can’t you keep doing that?”

**\-----**

He’s going to leave; he was going to grab Lisa and they were going to leave but when him and Mino reach the restaurant again, standing in front of that familiar red door, Hanbin walks out with a furious look in his eyes. 

Even Mino isn’t able to stop them as Hanbin drags him far away from the building. 

He expects the first punch; it’s the second one that knocks him for a loop. He holds his jaw, already feeling the bruise. 

“What the hell do you want?”

He glared over at his former brother-in-law. “What?”

“What? What the hell do you want from him? Is it not enough that he’s wasted twenty years loving you? Isn’t it enough that he gave up college? That he had to spend the last seven years piecing himself back together? And now you come back and break him again? Parading in here with your fiance.” Hanbin screams angrily. “Why? Why now? Why not seven years ago when he needed you the most? Why do you have to come marching back into his life?” He’s breaking down, fists curled against his side. “Do you know what it’s like to watch someone you love waste away? To watch them and feel so helpless? Because that’s what I felt like.” There were tears streaming down his cheeks. “I felt like someone took a piece of my soul, took my little brother, and left him to die.”

He swallowed drily, “H-Hanbin, I-I’m so sorry--”

“You’re not the only one who had dreams, Junhwe. Donghyuk wanted, he wanted to go to college and he wanted to be someone too.” He roughly wipes away the tears, turning away to start walking back to the restaurant. “If you really want my forgiveness, if you’re truly sorry, you’ll leave.”

Junhwe watched as the other figure became more distant before falling against the brick building, sobbing loudly. 

“Here.”

He choked for a second, startled before looking up to see a petite male hovering over him with a bag of ice. 

“I’m Jinhwan, Hanbin’s husband.” The stranger answered the lingering question in his mind. 

He nodded once, taking the bag of ice before pressing it against his jaw. “Guess you’re here to tell me I fucked up too.” His voice was gravely, choked up. 

“I think enough people have told you today. Maybe next time.”

He grins humorlessly at the other’s wit. “What’s one more person really? Bet you know all about my unsavory backstory.”

Jinhwan shrugs, “I know what Hanbin’s told me but I also know my husband is biased when it comes to his baby brother.”

He shifts the ice pack, hissing slightly at the soreness. “And what conclusion have you come to about me then?”

“That you’re a good guy who was young and stupid.”

Junhwe snorts. “Yeah, right.”

“No, I mean it. You were nineteen, twenty years old. It’s hard not to get lost in that moment. I’m not going to deny you were selfish but you were young, immature. It’s unfair to judge you based on your past.” Jinhwan paused, helping him stand up. “Look, I’m not going to tell you what to do. You’re a big boy. But just make sure it’s what you want. Don’t do it because you feel guilty or something, do it because you want to, otherwise you’re not doing anyone any favors.”

**\-----**

“I’m just not sure our restaurant can cater to five hundred people.” He shyly responded. “We’re a very small establishment and I just don’t think we have the resources for that big of a job.”

“Oh, please, Donghyuk-ssi. Junhwe said he wants  _ this  _ restaurant to cater the wedding. If money’s the issue, you don’t have to worry--”

“We’re leaving.”

They both looked up to see Junhwe hovering over them, gasping at the forming bruise on his jaw.

“Junhwe! Your face!”

“It’s nothing. Let’s go.” 

“But--”

He doesn’t let her finish, grabbing her coat and leading her out of the place. 

They barely get a chance to wave goodbye before the door slides shut with a residual slam. Donghyuk sighs as he stared at the peeling paint before turning around to face his family. 

He can already tell from the way they stand that Hanbin and Mino had words with his ex while Jinhwan offers a sympathetic smile and Jinwoo keeps Chanwoo distracted. 

His face falls briefly, sighing heavily before standing up from the chair. “I don’t want to hear it.”

“But Donghyuk--”

“There is no but. I discussed it with him and we’re going to set up a custody agreement where he can see Chanwoo twice a month.”

“That’s--”

“He deserves to get to know him.”

“Donghyuk--”

“He’s right. He deserves to get to know his son. I didn’t tell him all these years because I was mad and that’s not fair to him or Chanwoo.” 

His brothers all freeze, knowing anything they say will not convince him otherwise. 

**\---busan flashback---**

“J-Junhwe?” His grip tightened around the grocery bags, knuckles white. 

“I… I got a break from touring.” The other’s voice was soft, peeking at him through dyed blonde hair. 

“O-oh... “

“Can we talk?” 

Donghyuk stilled, glancing at the apartment door before turning back to the other male. “S-sure. But not here. My brothers are inside so--”

“I get it. How about I meet you at the cafe in twenty minutes?”

He nodded, watching as Junhwe turned away, shuffling out of the apartment complex. 

**\-----**

Junhwe sat in a far corner with his hood up, covering his face as he tapped impatiently on the table like keys on a piano. 

He smiled softly at the old habit before sliding into the empty side of the booth, drawing the other’s attention. 

“Uh, did you want to order something?”

“No, I’m okay. I don’t… I don’t have a lot of time so…”

“Oh.” He seemed disappointed, staring down at his mocha. “I just… You look good.” He blurts out before hiding his red cheeks with the sleeves of his sweater. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean- I mean, you do look good but I didn’t mean to like, scream that at you.”

Donghyuk smiled softly, “It’s okay.” He wrung his wrists nervously. “Congratulations on your debut.”

The other man blushed, “Thanks.”

They sat together in awkward silence for a long minute before glancing at each other. 

“How is everyone?”

Sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, he shrugged, “They’re good. Jinwoo hyung and Mino hyung are planning on a trip to Japan next year. Hanbin hyung’s been dating this guy, Jinhwan, for a while now.”

“Oh, that’s nice.”

More awkward silence.

“I like your blonde hair.”

Junhwe looked up with a small smile, “Really?”

“Yeah. It looks good.” He admits honestly. 

“Thanks.” The other male grins warmly before looking away. “I, uh, actually wanted to talk about us…”

“Oh?” He felt his palms get clammy; there was no way he knew about Chanwoo. 

“I actually, uh, bought a place in Seoul. It’s great. View of the Han River. An elevator that opens up right into the apartment.”

“That’s… That’s really nice, Junhwe.”

He nods carefully, “And I was thinking… You could move in with me.”

Donghyuk pauses, “To Seoul?”

“Yeah. You could finally get out of here--”

“I don’t want to ‘get out’ of here. Junhwe, this is my home.  _ Our  _ home.”

“This isn’t my home. My home is in Seoul where you, where  _ we  _ could be together.” Junhwe sighs heavily. “Aren’t you sick of the same small apartment and the same old faces?”

“You mean our family? Our friends?”

“That’s not… That’s not what I meant.” 

“No, you know what you meant.” Donghyuk rubbed his temples. “Look, I really should go.”

“Donghyuk, wait--”

He glanced back at Junhwe before flashing a wry grin. “I’m really glad you got your dream.”

**\---busan present---**

“Daddy? Is uncle Jungkook my papa?” Chanwoo was tucked under a space themed comforter, staring curiously at him. 

Donghyuk froze, throwing some of his son’s toys in the basket at the foot of the bed before shuffling towards the twin mattress, taking a seat at the foot of the bed. He reached forward to fun his fingers through the boy’s hair, sighing softly. “No. Uncle Jungkook is not your papa.”

“Oh.”

“Why the sudden interest, Chanwoo?”

The child shrugged, glancing away. “Everyone at school says you’re supposed to have two parents.” 

He felt his heart clench in his chest. “Well, Chanwoo, do you want Uncle Jungkook to be your papa?”

He shrugged again, still not looking up at him. “Uncle Jungkook is funny.”

Donghyuk flashed a small smile, “Let’s talk about this tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay.” Chanwoo snuggled into the sheets, “Night, daddy.”

“Good night, Chanwoo.” 

**\-----**

He silently closed the door, shuffling softly down the hallway and into the living area. Jinwoo was watching some movie on the TV while Mino had passed out on the couch. Jinhwan was folding laundry with Hanbin, half-heartedly watching the movie as well. 

Donghyuk moved to sit down on the floor, crossing his legs before glancing at his family. “Am I a bad dad?”

That seemed to wake everyone out of their sleepy trance, looking at him in alarm. Even Mino had sat up straight after Jinwoo’s sudden movements jostled him awake. 

“What? What the hell are you talking about, Donghyuk?” Hanbin spoke first, gaze hardened as he studied him.

“I just… Was it a bad idea not to tell Junhwe about Chanwoo for so long?”

“Why? Did that bastard say that--”

“Hanbin!” The oldest Kim brother chastised. “Donghyuk, where is all this coming from?” Jinwoo spoke softly, reaching out to thread his fingers through his hair. 

“Chanwoo… He just asked me if Jungkook was his dad and told me everyone at school says you’re supposed to have two parents and it’s… I didn’t tell Junhwe because I was mad that he abandoned everything here and because his career was just beginning. I didn’t want to trap him with fatherhood.” 

The room turned to a somber note before Jinhwan finally broke the silence. “Donghyuk, you’re not a bad dad. You’re a fantastic father. Anyone can see that. Just because Chanwoo doesn’t have two parents doesn’t mean you didn’t do you best.”

“Yeah! And who needs two fathers when he has four awesome uncles?” Mino grinned, lifting the mood instantly. 

“I’m going to tell you what I told you back then.” Jinwoo comforted, “It’s your decision and we’ll support you no matter what you choose.” 

He moved to hug his brother, “Thanks, hyung.”

**\-----**

“Well, everything seems great. There shouldn’t be any issues with the transfusion.” Bobby smiled, shuffling papers around on his desk. “We’re going to keep him on his medication for a few more weeks just to be safe though.”

“That’s good.”

“We can schedule the appointment for next week.”

“That’s fine.” He answered. 

“Mr. Koo, I need you to be aware that this will be a monthly commitment for at least a year. Usually, we do a transfusion every few months but Chanwoo’s condition has progressed exponentially.”

“Anything for him.” 

“Very well then.” Bobby nodded. “Donghyuk, we’re still on for lunch tomorrow, right?”

“Right.” Donghyuk already stood up, gathering his coat from the back of the seat before walking towards the office door. 

Junhwe bit his lip, eyes darting between them before rushing to follow his ex-husband out of the office.

“I’m sure Lisa-ssi is excited for her wedding.” Donghyuk commented softly. 

He opened his mouth to say something, anything. 

“Donghyuk! Look, there’s your daddy!”

The pair looked over to see a young nurse carrying Chanwoo towards them. 

“Thanks Dara noona. I’m sure he was quite a handful.”

“Are you kidding? I love this little buddy.” She giggled, setting the small child down. “He helped me stock all the bandages with new ones so they’re all colorful and fun!” 

Donghyuk smiled, “That’s good. You ready to go, Chanwoo?”

The kid nodded, latching onto his father’s leg. 

“What do you say to Dara noona?”

“Thank you Aunt Dara.”

She pretended to pout, “I thought I told you to call me noona.” 

His son flushed, hiding his red cheeks before tugging on Donghyuk’s hand in a hurry to leave. 

Junhwe watched as Donghyuk chuckled, grabbing the child’s hand before waving goodbye to the nurse once more. 

They slowly made their way out of the hospital, walking side by side through the clinic. 

“Are you daddy’s special friend?” Chanwoo interjected suddenly, looking up at him. 

He froze, staring back at those big brown eyes before silently taking a gulp of air. “Uh. I’m your dad’s…”

“Are you like Uncle Jungkook? Uncle Hanbin says he’s daddy’s special friend.”

Junhwe felt his fists curl involuntarily while Donghyuk choked on air. 

“I’m going to kill him.” He heard his ex whisper before he knelt down to face Chanwoo. “Chanwoo, don’t listen to Uncle Hanbin about that. He’s being dumb. This is June, he’s my… friend and he’s going to be your friend too!” Donghyuk looked up at him expectantly, encouragingly. 

He cleared his throat, nodding.

The child stared at him for a long second, studying him before smiling widely. “I know you.”

“You do?” He stared back curiously. 

“Yeah! I see you on TV and daddy has all of your albums--”

“Okay, enough out of you.” Donghyuk clamped a hand over their son’s mouth. “I don’t have all your albums. Just one. Okay, fine, two. I have two albums.” He rambled. “Okay, maybe three but that last one was a gift. Wipe that smug grin off your face, June.”

He grinned dopily, following the pair outside and to the car. 

**\-----**

“How can both of you eat that?” He stared as Chanwoo and Junhwe each shoveled a rich, decadent bite of double chocolate chip ice cream into their mouths. 

“It’s delicious, that’s how.” Junhwe retorted, chocolate melted on the corner of his mouth. 

He was tempted to wipe it off like he used to but instead, he only reached out to clean Chanwoo’s face free of the sticky mess. “I swear, you’re still a child.”

His ex grinned, looking over at Chanwoo with a wide smile. “What do you want to do today, Chanwoo?”

“I want to go to the carnival!” The child cheered.

“The carnival?” His ex looked at him for help.

“The annual carnival at the beach. Mino hyung and Jinwoo hyung usually take him but they’ve both been pretty busy this year.” 

“Well, we can go!”

“Junhwe, you don’t have to--”

“Please, daddy?” Chanwoo looked up at him pleadingly, eyes wide. 

He sighed, glancing at Junhwe who gave him a similar look of wanting. “Fine. But Chanwoo has school so we can’t stay out too late.”

The two of them looked at each other before turning to him with matching grins. 

**\-----**

“I want that one!” Chanwoo pointed at a large teddy bear hanging in the window of one of the carnival booths. He looked up at both of them pleadingly, grabbing onto Junhwe’s pant leg in a desperate plea. 

“Chanwoo, you already--”

“I’ll get it.” 

He looked up in surprise as Junhwe began leading them towards the booth, slamming down a crisp 10,000 Won on the table. The attendant took the bill, handing him three baseballs to throw at the neatly stacked tower of bottles. 

“I’m totally going to win that bear.”

“I’m pretty sure you said that back in high school too.” He teased, watching as Junhwe picked one up and weighed it in his hand.

“Well, I was a kid then. I’m an adult now.” He threw the ball at the middle of the tower, tumbling all but two of the bottles down. 

He stifled a laugh, lifting Chanwoo up to sit against his hip. 

“Oh, okay. I get it. You want a real throw.” Junhwe psyched himself up, shrugging off his leather jacket before grabbing another one of the baseballs. The cool autumn air seemed to do nothing for him as he stood in a thin black shirt, raising an arm to aim at the stack once more. He threw with all of his might, cleanly knocking off the top row but leaving one bottle at the bottom level. 

“You were saying?” Donghyuk quirked an eyebrow, grinning cheekily at the other male.

“Okay, I have one more try.” Junhwe retorted, “I’ll show you how much of a man I am.”

“Oh, really? You’re going to show me?” He teased, laughing softly as the other male frowned, grabbing the last baseball. 

“Yeah. And I’m going to win that teddy bear!”

**\-----**

“Nobody likes teddy bears, Chanwoo.” Junhwe consoled, holding out a smaller stuffed lion instead. “Lions are much cooler.”

He shook his head, rolling his eyes. “Seems much smaller than the teddy bear…”

Junhwe shushes him with a sharp look. “All the cool kids have lions.”

“Sure, sure.” 

They passed by several different booths, strolling along the boardwalk. 

“Can we go on that ride?” Chanwoo pointed at something at the end of the walk. 

They peered closer to see that it was one of those gaudy, haunted houses. There was a small line outside of the entrance, decorated with fake cobwebs and plastic spiders. 

Donghyuk glanced at Junhwe who had paled considerably before looking at Chanwoo, “Maybe, next time. Uncle June doesn’t look too good--”

“No!” He startled. “I mean, I can do it. We can go. If Chanwoo… If Chanwoo wants to go, we can go.” 

“Junhwe, we don’t have to--”

“I can do it. I’m not… Scared.” Junhwe whispered the last word, staring hard at the ride. 

“Your tone suggests otherwise…” He muttered to himself before holding his son’s hand. “Okay, then, let’s go!” 

**\-----**

The entire hallway is lit with filtered green lighting, giving off a creepy glow as fake blood was splashed on the walls. Chanwoo swung his arms freely, standing between them as they walked through the haunted house. 

“Junhwe, we can still go back if you want--” Donghyuk suggested.

“Really?” He looked over in the dark before shaking his head. “I mean, why, why would you say that? Unless you’re scared, in which, case, yeah, totally we can head back but only if you’re scared. I’m obviously fine. I’m great. Could do this all day.”

“It’s just some teenagers in costumes. I think I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, then. Well, good. Because I’m great at haunted houses.” He muttered a silent prayer to every deity he could think of as they walked past another empty room. 

Silence overcame the family, slowly making their way to the exit. 

“Ah!” A scream echoed from his left.

Junhwe screamed, looking over to see a woman in black clothing with hair hanging over her eyes, pale face seemingly glowing in the dark. He moved to push Chanwoo and Donghyuk behind him, using himself as a poor, makeshift shield before quickly dragging them further down the hallway and away from the ghostly figure.

“Boo!”

This time, someone on Donghyuk’s side had popped out from nowhere, the whites of their eyes visible. 

Junhwe grabbed the other man’s wrist, pulling him closer as they raced through the haunted house. 

“Holy shit, oh, my god. Did you see that? I didn’t even. Goddamn, that was scary as hell.”

“You said a bad word.”

He looked over to see his son staring up at him with wide eyes before glancing over at Donghyuk who was doubled over in laughter. Junhwe tried his best to look annoyed, “Stop laughing.” 

“You should’ve seen your face! Oh, my god, I wish I had that on camera.”

“It’s not that funny.”

“That was hilarious! I haven’t seen you scream that much since Mino made you go in high school.” He holds his stomach from laughing, eyes pulled into tight crescents as his laughter fills the air. 

Junhwe stares for a long second, lost at how carefree and unrestrained Donghyuk looks at this very moment. 

**\-----**

They walked through the quiet streets of Busan, street lamps flickering occasionally as they made their way back to the apartment. 

Junhwe hoisted Chanwoo close to his chest, the young child fast asleep as he was tucked in several layers. He rocked him carefully, smiling when he saw his son’s nose twitch ever so slightly in his sleep. 

“Thanks for walking us home.” Donghyuk made a move to take their son, settling him in his arms without disturbing him.

He watches Donghyuk; the way his movements are natural, the way his expression settles in content, the way the salty Busan air ruffles his hair.  

“Why pink?” Junhwe blurts out without much thought.

Donghyuk hums curiously, finally tearing his gaze away from Chanwoo to look up at him. 

“Your hair… You used to hate dying it.” 

“Oh.” Donghyuk looks away, fondly staring at their son. “Chanwoo wanted me to dye it. And Hanbin hyung won a bet so he got to pick the color. I guess he thought it would be embarrassing.”

“It looks good.” He comments, unconsciously reaching out to run a hand through his hair. “It looks really good.”

“Thanks.” Donghyuk’s cheeks turn pink like his hair. “Well, I should go put Chanwoo in his bed.”

“Oh, right.” He snaps back, staring at his hand like it has a mind of its own. “Uh, good night.”

“Good night.” The smaller male whispers softly before walking inside the small apartment complex. 

Junhwe watched him go, standing under the flickering street lamp. “Good night.”

**\---busan flashback---**

_        “Junhwe! Answer your goddamn phone! This isn’t funny! You have schedules--” _

“Message deleted.”

_        “Junhwe! Seriously, I can’t keep covering for you. At least tell me where you are so I know you’re not dead.” _

“Message deleted.” 

_        “Junhwe, this is really serious. Are you okay? Where are you? Text me, call me, anything. I just need to know you’re okay.” _

“Message deleted.”

He pulled the phone away from his ear, staring at the screen before typing out a quick message to Yunhyung to calm him down. He stuffed the device into his back pocket, reaching down to grab his suitcase; Junhwe pulled his baseball cap low over his eyes to avoid making contact with anyone but everyone seemed to be too busy with their own lives to notice him. 

**\-----**

Junhwe stood in front of the familiar apartment building, staring at the same old peeling paint and the chipped exterior. His grip tightened around the handle of his suitcase, knuckles white as he dared himself to walk up the entrance.

“Hyung! Stop!” 

Junhwe whipped his head around at the familiar voice, looking up the street to see  _ him _ . 

“Stop what, Dong?” The other voice was teasing.

“Hyung!” Donghyuk’s voice was breathless, lilting softly. 

Even in the dark, he could make out the grin on the smaller male’s face, the warm flush of his cheeks. His eyes darted to the stranger; it wasn’t Hanbin or Jinwoo or Mino. It was someone  _ else _ . It was someone else who had their arms wrapped around his waist, fingers ghosting along his ribs ticklishly. It was someone else who drew out loud laughter. It was someone else. Someone else.  _ Someone else. _

**\---seoul present---**

“What’s the difference between an engagement party and a wedding?” Junhwe looked skeptically at his future bride, feeling suffocated by the tight collar of his dress shirt. 

“An engagement party announces that we’re going to be married--”

“I thought we already did that when we had dinner with Jungkook and everyone?”

“That was us telling our friends. An engagement party is more open and less intimate.” She looked up from the vanity, fixing her eyeliner one last time before standing up. 

“I still don’t see the difference. No, seriously, I literally can’t see the difference since they’re costing me both the same amount of money.”

Lisa shushed him, playfully patting his cheek before walking past him. “Did you know?”

“Know what?” He was struggling with his tie, flipping it over, trying to figure out how to do this. 

“Jungkook went to the jewelry store last week.”

He froze his movements, staring at his hands before clammily resuming the task at hand. “Oh, he didn’t mention it.”

“Jisoo says she saw him at Cartier.” She walked over silently, hands wrapping around the silk fabric of his tie to help him. “I like Donghyuk-ssi. I think they’d make a good match.” 

Junhwe silently grits his teeth, humming in false agreement before pulling away as she straightens the onyx tie. “That’s… Good for them.”

“Isn’t it? And then we can plan to have our kids enroll in the same school! And they’ll grow up to be best friends!”

His lungs feel like they’re shrinking, breathing short as he glances over at Lisa’s wide smile. “Kids?”

“Well, yeah. We’re bound to have kids some day. Not immediately, of course. I still have a career to think about.” She speaks coolly, moving to grab her bag off the couch seat. 

**\-----**

The hotel ballroom glitters with crystal chandeliers and bright lights; he smiles politely as everyone from actresses to male supermodels congratulate him on his impending wedding. Lisa flitters through the crowd like the social butterfly she is, laughing charmingly at their audience as she weaves through the group. 

“Jungkook!” Lisa coos loudly, pulling his best friend into a big hug. “I’m so glad you could make it!” She leans away to give him an approving once over; he hates to admit it, but he does look good in his tailored navy blue suit and his newly dyed hair. “And you brought Donghyuk-ssi!” Lisa immediately grabs his hand, smiling warmly at him. “We’re so happy you’re here.”

He can tell how uncomfortable Donghyuk is; the way his brow furrows slightly, the tight line of his smile, the way he wrings his wrists out of nervous habit. 

“Thank you for having me. This is all so beautiful.”

She smiles at the compliment, relishing in the attention before she’s stolen away by fellow supermodels to gush about the newest line of Saint Laurent or Gucci or something. 

Jungkook strolls up to him with a grin, fingers laced with Donghyuk’s own. “Congrats, again.”

He stared at their joined hands for a moment, lingering at the image before reeling back to the present. Junhwe did his best to offer a genuine smile, nodding thankfully before downing his entire glass of champagne in one long gulp. 

“Slow down, man. You’ve got all night to get drunk.” Jungkook teased. “Besides, we’ve still got the bachelor party too.” He winked with a wide grin. 

Junhwe chuckled, “Right. The bachelor party.”

“Oh, hey, there’s Namjoon hyung. I gotta ask him something, be right back.” Jungkook easily slips his hand away from Donghyuk, leaving them alone in the corner of the hotel ballroom. 

They stand side by side awkwardly before he awkwardly coughed. “Uh, you look nice.”

Donghyuk looked up from his wine glass, his pink hair ruffled messily as he glanced over his steel gray suit, awkwardly adjusting his navy blue tie. “Oh, thanks… You look nice too.” He looks up with wide eyes, small smile dancing on his lips. 

“Thanks.” He whispers breathlessly. 

**\---busan flashback---**

“Junhwe, it’s almost midnight. Why do we have to go out now?” He whined, wrapping himself further in the blanket. 

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” Junhwe was trying his best to tug the blanket out of his grip.

“At 11:48pm on a Tuesday?” Donghyuk refused to budge from his seat on the couch, watching some idol half heartedly on the screen. 

“Yes. Now, come on!”

He whined, struggling to stay in his cocoon of warmth before shrieking softly when his boyfriend successfully yanked the blanket off of him. Donghyuk rolled his eyes, reluctantly letting Junhwe dress in one his own sweaters before shuffling tiredly towards the front door. He mumbled under his breath about bad boyfriends but the taller male ignored him, lacing their hands together as they trekked out of the apartment. 

They strolled towards the neighborhood park, swinging their hands together in the cold winter air as they made their way to their childhood playground. 

“Really? You wanted to come here at midnight?” He looked unimpressed but Junhwe shushed him, ushering him to sit on the swing. 

“It’ll be worth it.”

“Junhwe, it’s the middle of December and I’m freezing--”

As if on cue, the playground was suddenly engulfed in little bright Christmas lights, twinkling brightly like stars. 

“W-what is going on?” 

His boyfriend grinned brightly in front of him, “Happy anniversary.”

Donghyuk froze; Junhwe looked down at him with complete adoration as they waited in the park together. 

“Anniversary?” He racked his brain for any important dates but he was sure their anniversary was in spring. 

“Yeah, today’s the day we met. When you found me in this playground, over ten years ago, and forced me to be your friend.” Junhwe beamed at him. “And ever since that day, my whole life has been yours.”

He kicks his feet on the frozen ground, blushing softly as he glanced away. 

“Kim Donghyuk.”

He pulled his gaze away from the lights, swinging slightly as he glanced at his boyfriend; a gasp was torn from his lungs. 

“Will you marry me?”

**\---seoul present---**

“You okay?”

Junhwe stopped tugging on the knot of his tie, looking up to see Jungkook standing behind him. “Oh, hey.” He paused. “How’d you know I’d be here?”

“Donghyuk said you went out for some fresh air.” Jungkook moved to sit down on the rooftop’s floor. “Is everything okay? You seemed really uncomfortable during the entire party.”

“Yeah, no, I’m fine.” He waved away the other’s concern, looking up at the night sky. Junhwe could feel the other’s eyes on him before silently looking away. 

They sat on the roof for a few more minutes, quietly lost in their own thoughts before Jungkook interrupts the silence once more. 

“Do you know who Donghyuk’s ex is?”

“What?” He refuses to make eye contact.

“His ex-partner. Chanwoo’s other parent.” He sighed, “Donghyuk doesn’t really talk about his past. I was hoping you knew something.”

Junhwe cleared his throat, looking away. “I’m sure he has a reason for not telling you.” 

“Maybe…”

**\---busan present---**

“Alright, so what next?” Jungkook looked around cluelessly, stumbling in the kitchen.

“Well, now we have to cook the noodles.” Donghyuk smiled softly at the other male. “You’ve really never cooked before, have you?”

“I debuted when I was sixteen. Cooking was not a high priority for me.” 

He rolled his eyes with a chuckle, helping the idol measure out dry spaghetti noodles and throwing them into the silver pot. “You should still know how to cook a few meals. How have you been surviving for the past ten years?”

“Simple. Take out and ramen noodles.”

“That’s so unhealthy!” He teased, laughing when Jungkook wrapped his arms around his waist, tickling his ribs. “Jungkook! Stop!”

“Never!”

They stumbled in the kitchen, laughter filling the space. 

“Hey, love birds. It’s time to go pick up your son.” Mino poked his head in the kitchen, smirking knowingly at both of them as they flushed under his gaze. 

Jungkook pulled away, bowing respectfully to the older male as Donghyuk felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment. 

“Hyung, can you watch the pasta? I’ll go get Chanwoo from school.”

“Sure.” Mino stepped in, smirk still evident on his face as he winked at them. “Why doesn’t Jungkook go with you?”

“It’s just down the street--”

“I’d love to go with you.” Jungkook grinned. “I love spending time with Chanwoo and you.”

**\-----**

“Donghyuk…” 

He looked up; Jungkook stood in front of him with a cup of coffee. 

“It’s too cold for you to be out like this.” 

He smiled, eyes crinkled. “I just meant to come out for a few minutes but I guess I got lost in my thoughts.” He gratefully accepted the hot cup, warming his frozen hands with them before taking a small sip to warm his core. “I thought you were heading back to Seoul?”

“Ah, I told my manager I wanted to stay for a few more days and since I don’t have any schedules, he said it was fine.”

Donghyuk nodded, turning back to stare at the calming waves of the ocean.

“Do you come here often?”

He hummed, feeling Jungkook slide into the empty bench seat next to him. “Occasionally. I used to come here a lot in high school. But I’ve been too busy lately.”

“I see.” Jungkook nods, taking a sip of his own cup before clearing his throat. “Donghyuk?”

“Yes?” He turned to look at the other male, offering a warm smile. 

Jungkook flashed a grin back before looking down at his cup, almost shy. “I’ve been… I’m not sure how to say this…”

He froze, watching everything like it was in slow motion.

“I think I’m in love with you.”


	4. set

**\---busan flashback---**

“Are you really not going to tell him?”

“What’s there to tell?” Donghyuk ignored his brother’s hovering.

“This is kind of a big deal, Donghyuk.” Hanbin sounded exasperated, following him around the apartment like an incessant puppy. 

“He doesn’t need to know.”

“Donghyuk, this isn’t like you’re trying to hide a surprise party for him. You got into Harvard! Harvard University! Don’t you think your boyfriend, no, your  _ fiance _ , deserves to know?”

“It’s not… If I tell him, he’ll tell me to go--”

“Of course you should go! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!”

“It’s not that simple!” He snapped at his older brother before slumping his shoulders. “It’s not… Look, I know what an amazing opportunity this is but… But I love my life here too. When mom and dad died, I was left with pieces of a family and now that I’ve finally got one put together, I just don’t want to give it up.” 

His brother went still, his face softening as he pulled him into a hug. “We’re always going to be a family, Donghyuk.”

“I know.”  _ I know. _

**\---seoul present---**

“Wrong.” The music producer halted all movements, glaring at him through the glass booth. “What is with you? You haven’t made this many mistakes since you were rookie.”

Junhwe shrugged, uncapping his water bottle before massaging his throat. “We’ve been doing this for three hours, can't we take a break?”

The producer sighed before making a quick signal at the rest of the production crew. “Fifteen minutes.” 

He looked grateful, tugging the large headphones to hang around his neck. Junhwe stepped out of the recording booth, looking up to see Yunhyung standing in the doorway of the sound room. He didn’t make a sound, sighing silently when his manager made a nod to talk outside. Throwing the headphones on the table, he followed Yunhyung, hands tucked into the front of his jeans. 

Yunhyung looked exhausted, leaning against the hallway wall. 

“What?” He tried to appear nonchalant, focusing on his perfect white sneakers instead of the older male. 

“Remember six years ago when you almost quit?”

Junhwe froze, looking up in a mix of surprise and confusion. “Why are you… What’s that got to do with anything?”

“You turned off your phone and only left me a message saying you were alive and that you were going home.”

“Yeah, so?” He was getting frustrated; he didn’t want to relive his past.

“But then you came back, drunk, and told me the only reason you didn’t go talk to him was because he looked happy. And who were you to ruin that with your bullshit--”

“Is there a fucking point to this?” He balled his hands into tight fists, clenching his jaw. 

“Don’t ruin that with your bullshit.” Yunhyung pressed a manila envelope into his chest, brushing past him without a second glance. 

Standing in the hallway, he could hear his harsh breathing before carefully tearing open the envelope, spilling out paparazzi shot photos in a heap. 

**\-----**

“Jisoo and I are going to go wedding dress shopping this weekend in Paris.”

He hummed, not really paying attention to Lisa, too consumed by his own emotions. “Okay, cool.”

“Jisoo’s new boyfriend knows the head designer at Valentino.”

“That’s great.”

“Junhwe! You could be a little more excited that your fiance is getting her wedding dress. You know, the dress I’ll be wearing when we walk down the aisle.” Lisa pouted, batting her eyelashes in frustration. 

He tensed, smiling weakly. “I’m sure you’ll look absolutely breath-taking in anything. You could wear a garbage bag and I’d still marry you.”

She smiled, “That’s more like it.” Lisa leaned in to give him a quick peck on the cheek before turning around. “Oh, by the way, Jungkook called. Said he had some big news.”

Junhwe felt his heart lurch in his throat.

**\-----**

“J-Junhwe!”

His best friend reached out for him sloppily, making little grabby hands before wrapping them around a glass tumbler of scotch. 

Junhwe glanced around the bar to see it was empty before settling into the leather seat beside him. “You called?”

“Y-yeah.” He hiccupped, smiling dopily at him. “I needed… I needed my best friend.” Jungkook looked down at his glass before knocking it back. “I… I was with Donghyuk today.”

He didn’t look at the other singer, trying to focus all his energy on the melting ice cubes in his glass. 

“He’s great, you know?”

“Yeah.” He whispers softly. “I know.” 

Jungkook doesn’t hear him over his own drunk rambling. “I told him, I told him that I’m in love with him.”

He felt his heart shatter, physically shatter, in his chest.

“I told him that he’s all I can think about. That since I’ve met him, I realized I don’t need money or cars or anybody else. I just need…  _ Him _ . He makes me feel… What’s the word? Loved. Like all those fangirls and stuff, they love me but with him, it’s different. It’s like, ‘why the fuck haven’t I felt this before?’ I spent my whole childhood training for this life. And I thought that’s what I wanted but seeing Donghyuk… Being with Donghyuk… I want that. I want him. I want a family. I want to come home and have people care about me. Not my money. Not my career. Me.” 

Junhwe swallowed the lump in his throat. “And what did he say to that?”

The other singer looks at him with a sloppy grin. “I’ll give you one guess. One, he said yes and we’re celebrating. Or two, he told me he just doesn’t feel the same way.” Jungkook pauses before grinning again, not letting him interject. “It was number two! He said he doesn’t feel the same way.” He’s being reduced to tears. “He said, maybe over time but not now. Not right now.” 

He doesn’t offer any words of comfort as his best friend slumps over in a drunken haze. 

“But you know, I like that word. Maybe. Because that means there’s still a chance, right?”

He twirled the ice in the amber liquid.

“Junhwe?”

Condensation collected on the surface. 

“Junhwe? Are you listening?”

**\---busan present---**

Wrapping another layer, Donghyuk grinned at his son, bent down to make eye contact as he pulled down a beanie on the child. 

“Daddy, it’s too hot.” Chanwoo complained, tugging at the collar of his padded jacket.

“Yeah because we’re still inside but once we get outside, it’s going to be cold.”

Chanwoo didn’t believe him, trying to remove his scarf as Hanbin walked out of the bedroom. 

“Hey, buddy, ready to go sledding?”

The little kid immediately lit up, jumping up and down as he trailed around after his uncle. 

“Are you sure you can handle two whole hours of sledding with Chanwoo?” Donghyuk began picking up some of the toys his son had scattered around the living room. 

“We’ll be fine. Jinhwan hyung said he’d meet me at the hill after he’s done with parent teacher conferences.”

“Well, if you need me--”

“I’ll call you if I need anything but don’t worry. I’ve been watching this little munchkin for six years. I can handle a few hours.”

“Yes, but usually Jinhwan hyung is there to stop you from doing something stupid.”

“Yeah-- Hey! I’m still your hyung!” 

He dodged the other’s indignant punch, helping Chanwoo tie up his boots. “Okay, Chanwoo, be good for Uncle Hanbin.”

“What if he says a bad word?”

“Then we’ll make sure he puts money in the swear jar.”

“You’re raising a snitch.” Hanbin muttered as he slipped into his own boots.

“And what do you do if a stranger asks you if you want candy?”

“I say no! Stranger danger! And then I run to find Uncle Hanbin.” 

“Good.” He pressed a warm kiss against his son’s forehead. “I’ll see you at dinner, baby.”

“Bye, daddy!” Chanwoo firmly wrapped his small hand in Hanbin’s larger one, walking out of the apartment with a bright red sled. 

He grinned, waving goodbye before quietly closing the front door; Donghyuk leaned back against the surface, sighing softly as he hung his head low. 

“Donghyuk? I’m making some sandwiches, want any?” Jinwoo peeked out of the kitchen with a soft smile before tilting his head out of concern. 

He shook his head, “Nah, I’m good.”

“Okay… Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, just something on my mind.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“No… It’s fine. I’m just going to… I’m going to my room. Need to finish up some stuff.” 

His brother pursed his lips but didn’t push it, turning around back to the kitchen. 

**\-----**

Sliding the bedroom door shut with a quiet click, Donghyuk shuffled towards the bed before falling back with a long sigh. He stared up at the ceiling, the sound of the wall clock ticking filling the silence of the room. 

_ “I think I’m in love with you _ .” 

The moment kept replaying in his head; over and over again. The hopeful look Jungkook cast at him. The way his fingers curled nervously. The cold air of the ocean frozen between them. 

He sighed again, rolling over to lie on his stomach as he reached up to grab at the thin chain wrapped around his neck. He fiddled with the strand, tugging lightly on it before wrapping his fingers around the thin gold band looped in the necklace. He kept twirling the item in between his fingers, sighing softly to himself before pushing himself off the mattress. 

“God, you’re so stupid.” He whispered to himself, walking over to the dresser, struggling to undo the chain’s clasp before dropping into an old decorated box full of random trinkets. Donghyuk continued to mutter to himself as he dug through the dresser to pull out some new clothes to change into. “Here’s this perfectly good guy and you turned him down. God, what are you doing?” He berated himself before grabbing a clean white T-shirt and peeling off his ratty old gray one. “Why date someone who’s emotionally healthy? Right, Donghyuk? God, I’m an idiot.”

“Hey, Donghyuk. Mino just called, saying he needs help at the restaurant.” Jinwoo’s voice echoed on the other side of the bedroom door.

He froze before resuming changing. “I’ll be right there!”

**\-----**

“Hey! Apparently there was a class field trip nearby and they wanted to eat before the four hour bus ride back to Seoul.” Mino explained, glancing at the packed restaurant as customers yelled out random orders. 

Donghyuk nodded, “Okay, well--”

“Who ordered the seafood pancakes?” 

“I did!”

“Oh, my god! Is that really--”

“Are you serious? That’s really Jungkook!” 

Donghyuk snapped his head up to see the idol waltz out of the kitchen with a tray of food, grin wide as the female high school students squealed. He twisted to look back at his brother-in-law who offered him a sheepish shrug.

“He stopped by looking for you and then started to help.”

The celebrity moved with ease, smiling warmly at the high school students who gushed over him before he glanced at Donghyuk, grinning widely before turning back to the task at hand. 

“He’s a good kid.” Mino observes quietly. “Reminds me of Junhwe back in high school.”

He ignored the last comment.

“Maybe it’s time you give someone else a chance.”

Mino doesn’t give him a chance to respond, breezing past him into the kitchen. 

**\---seoul present---**

Pouring the amber liquid into a crystal tumbler, he swirled the whiskey with a blank stare. Junhwe glanced up when the front door unlocked, Yunhyung strolling in with a stoic look. 

“Is there a reason you called me at one in the morning?”

He shrugged, ignoring his manager as he focused on the glass once more. “You want to hear something funny?”

Yunhyung sighed heavily, slumping into an empty armchair. “What?”

“I used to think I couldn’t live without Donghyuk. I used to think that he was my entire fucking world and without him, I couldn’t breathe. But look at me.” His eyes flitted up to look at the other male. “I’m alive. I’m doing just fine.” He chuckled humorlessly, taking a short sip.

His manager sighs, rubbing his temples with an air of exasperation, “Junhwe--”

“What if I can’t let him go? I spend a few days with him and it’s more than I felt in two years with Lisa.” 

“Junhwe--”

“I don’t know what to do and I’m scared, hyung. I’m terrified.”

Yunhyung immediately softened as he glanced at the singer’s vulnerable form; very rarely did the singer use honorifics with him. “I know you’re scared, Junhwe. But you can’t do this to Donghyuk or Lisa or even, Jungkook.”

“I know.” Junhwe whispers softly in the air. “I know.”

**\---busan flashback---**

“What the hell, Junhwe? Let go!” Donghyuk managed to wrestle his arm away, pressing his palms against his chest and pushing him away roughly. 

He stood heaving deep breaths, blinded by emotion as he stared at his best friend before roughly running a hand through his hair. Junhwe glanced over to see Donghyuk wringing his wrist out of discomfort. 

“What the actual hell, Junhwe? What was that all about?”

He didn’t respond; couldn’t respond without figuratively spilling all of his emotions on the pavement below them. 

“Seriously? You’re not going to talk? You’re not going to tell me why you physically dragged me away from Jinhyung?”

The way Donghyuk’s lips curl around the name makes him snap. “Stop saying his name.”

“What?”

“He’s… He was  _ leering  _ at you.”

“Again, what?”

“He was… That jerk was staring at you! And I could see the way his eyes were practically mauling you and he kept touching you like it was nothing and it was sick. It makes me physically sick because shit, that little fucker shouldn’t be looking at you like that! He has no right,  _ no right! _ ” He realizes he’s ranting but it’s too late; his mouth is running a mile a minute and he can’t stop it. 

Donghyuk does, though. 

Donghyuk stops him from continuing his long-winded monologue by pressing their lips together. And it’s perfect. Even if it is in the alleyway behind the school. Even if it’s ridiculously cold and everyone else sits inside the warm gymnasium, enjoying the homecoming dance. Even if he can barely feel his fingers as he places them on Donghyuk’s equally cold face to pull him in even closer. It’s perfect. 

**\---seoul flashback--**

“You ever been in love?” 

Junhwe looked over to see Jungkook sprawled lazily on the hardwood floor of the practice room; he snorted before taking another sip of cheap beer. 

“Bet you haven’t. No one could break through that block of ice you call a heart.” The singer laughs loudly to himself before falling into a soft sigh. “I wonder what it’s like… To love someone so much that you’d do anything for them. That you’d give up your entire world for just one person.” 

He scoffs bitterly, “It’s not that great.” He stares at the dented beer can in his hand, eyes dark. “People think it’d be great to love someone that much but it doesn’t. It’s shitty because you spend your whole life thinking you’re not good enough for them. You’d do anything for them. Anything to be better; to be worthy and in the end, it doesn’t matter because they’ll have forgotten you.”

“Wow, bitter much?” Jungkook hiccups drunkenly. “I don’t know if I could do it. I don’t think I’ve met someone worth giving everything up for, you know?”

Junhwe doesn’t answer, simply crushing the empty can in his hand. 

“What about you? Was that person worth it?”

He reached for another beer, bringing the can to his lips before pausing to whisper softly. “Yeah. Yeah, they are.”

**\---seoul present---**

_     “LOVE CHILD? Koo Junhwe’s Secret Family!” _

__ _ “Fatherhood for K-Pop’s Prince!” _

__ _ “Who is the Other Parent? Everything You NEED to Know!” _

**\-----**

“In a shocking revelation, it has been revealed that K-pop’s prince, Koo Junhwe, has secretly been harboring a family in his hometown of Busan. The news was released after photos of the idol visiting his secret family were leaked online; Koo was spotted at a local carnival playing games and going on rides with his young son and his mystery partner. 

Many have been curious as to who the other man is to get in the way of celebrity couple, Lisa and Junhwe--”

He can’t read anymore; he tosses the trashy tabloid on the glass desk in front of him, massaging his temples as he feels the migraine seeping in. 

“Junhwe, we need to talk about this. You can’t just hide in the studio.” Yunhyung drops off a hot cup of coffee, crossing his arms as he took a seat on the leather couch. 

He ignored his manager, pulling up his tablet to read more articles about the situation; his eyes were drawn towards the comments written below. 

“ _ has he been married this whole time???” _

__ _ “Who’s the other man? What about Lisa unni?” _

__ _ “Lisa doesn’t deserve this.” _

__ _ “the other man probably bothered june for money” _

__ _ “bet it’s not even his kid” _

He wants to throw his tablet but one glance at Yunhyung and he already dreads the lecture he would get if he broke something. So, instead, he leans back in his office chair, glaring at the ceiling. 

“Lisa’s been calling. If you bothered to look at your phone.”

Junhwe turned his head to stare at his phone on the desk; it had been lighting up like a goddamn Christmas tree for the past two days. “Do you think I made the right choice?”

“What?”

“Moving up here to Seoul, leaving Donghyuk behind… Meeting Lisa… Do you think it was the right choice?”

“Junhwe, I can’t…”

“I thought I loved Lisa. Maybe not as much as I love Donghyuk, but enough. But these past few weeks… Seeing him again. Seeing my son. I realized I’m never going to love anybody as much. No matter how much I try to forget them and move on; no matter who I meet, I’m always going to love him more.” He pulled his gaze away from the ceiling, looking at his manager. “Is that crazy?”

Yunhyung doesn’t move, just stares at him before softly shaking his head. “Junhwe, you can’t--”

“I know it’s selfish! I know it’s incredibly selfish but fuck. I don’t know what to do. I want to love Lisa like I love him. God! Do you know how much easier my life would be if I could just love her like that? But I can’t. I physically can’t. I’ve tried, Yunhyung. You know I’ve tried. And I got so close. I love Lisa, I do but god, I love him more.” He sobs desperately, burying his face in the palms of his hands. 

**\---busan present---**

“Were you ever going to tell me?” Jungkook looks at him with wide, trusting eyes that it breaks his heart a little.

Donghyuk heaved a long sigh before shaking his head softly. “What me and Junhwe have…  _ Had _ was in the past. He had his career and whole life on the line and with Chanwoo and his anemia… I felt it was best that no one knew.” He stared down at his hands, locking and unlocking them. “I’m sorry if you feel betrayed.”

He half expects the other man to yell, scream, throw something or storm out in a loud, angry huff but Jungkook doesn’t. Instead, he takes a deep breath before reaching over to hold his hand. 

“I understand why you did what you did. A life in the spotlight… That’s not good for a child like Chanwoo.” Jungkook tilts his chin up, forcing Donghyuk to look at the idol. “I’m not mad. I don’t think I could ever be mad at you.” He smiles softly. “Just tell me if you have any more secret children with my friends.”

He laughs softly, jokingly nudging the singer away. “I promise the next time I have a secret child with one of your friends, you’ll be the first to know.”

Jungkook chuckles before looking at him with a fond look. “Hey, Donghyuk?”

He hummed softly, staring back.

“Will you marry me?”

**\---seoul present---**

He stared blankly at the wall; he stood still in a sea of chaos. His mind is silent before it’s invaded by a cacophony of noise. 

“Are you even listening to me?”

He glanced to his left to see Lisa staring at him; her mascara was running and she looked so unbelievably fragile under the living room lights. He makes a move to say something; opens his mouth to offer any sort of retribution but he’s frozen. 

She takes a labored breath, looking down at her chipped nails; he wonders if she was always this petite. “Do you love me?”

His throat is dry but he manages a nod. 

She accepts his answer gracefully. “Do you love him?”

He doesn’t answer. Can’t answer without breaking her heart. 

She knows. “I love you, Junhwe.” She shuffles forward. “I still want to marry you.” Lisa looks like she’ll break at the slightest touch. “I accept any and all parts of you. Good and bad.” She confesses in a hushed whisper. 

Junhwe slowly reaches out, engulfing her a hug.  

**\---busan present---**

“We’re going to keep him overnight to make sure the transfusion goes smoothly. There shouldn’t be any issues but better safe than sorry.” Bobby nods at the parents before glancing at the little kid sleeping soundly on the bed. “You should get some rest, both of you. It’s been a long day.” 

Junhwe nodded, watching as Donghyuk ran his fingers through their son’s hair. “When will he wake up?”

“Probably in a few hours. He’s had a busy day so his body is probably exhausted. He’ll wake up and we’ll make sure he eats before he falls asleep again.”

“Thanks Bobby hyung.” His ex whispers quietly, drawing away from the child to smile warmly at the doctor.

“No problem. Anything for my favorite patient.” He patted Donghyuk, ruffling his hair in a teasing manner before quietly exiting the room. 

They sat in silence, watching the steady breathing of Chanwoo for a long moment.

“Thank you.”

He glanced at Donghyuk, tilting his head curiously. 

“For being here.”

Those three words weigh on him but he swallows his pride and nods. “No problem.”

They wait in silence, hovering over Chanwoo as he sleeps soundly in the hospital bed. Donghyuk runs his hand through their son’s hair, smiling fondly. 

“I’m sorry.”

His ex looked up at him, tilting his head curiously. 

He cleared his throat, glancing away as he elaborated. “For, uh, all the paparazzi and stuff. I didn’t… I didn’t want either of you to be uncomfortable.”

Donghyuk hummed lowly. “It’s okay. I know it’s not your fault.” He turned back to their son. “Don’t beat yourself up about it, okay? We all knew people were bound to find out eventually.”

He nods carefully before turning to look at Chanwoo as well, feeling the weight on his shoulders amplify. 

**\-----**

“The past few days have been a whirlwind for the K-pop industry; the public was shaken when it was revealed that Koo Junhwe is actually a father of a young six year old boy down in Busan. Many were taken aback by the news as Koo has been in a very public relationship with model, Lalisa Manoban, more famously known as LISA. The couple have always been at the forefront for power couples and were well known for their harmonious relationship, which only made the news of Koo’s secret fatherhood that more shocking. Although, the couple has not yet issued a statement as to the state of their relationship, our close sources say the wedding will continue this spring.” 

**\-----**

WHO IS KIM DONGHYUK?

“The name might not be familiar but it’s been all over the internet the past few days. No, he’s not some new Internet singing sensation nor is he this season’s  _ The Bachelor _ . However, he’s a name you need to know. 

Kim Donghyuk is, to put simply, a father. More specifically, he’s the  _ other _ father of Koo Junhwe’s son. 

After the shocking revelation that K-pop’s prince is actually a father, many have been curious as to who the other parent is. And here at  _ GOSS _ , we have all the information you need to know about the secret family that Koo has been harboring. 

Born and raised in Busan, Kim is actually a childhood friend of the singer. Those who went to highschool with the couple remember Koo as the basketball team’s star player and captain while Kim was the class representative and the school’s top student. Friends revealed, “They were practically joined at the hip. You couldn’t find one without the other.” This close friendship led to a budding high school romance of adolescent bliss.

However, like most high school romances, this one also had an expiration date. After passing YG’s preliminary auditions, Koo was forced to choose between his dream and his high school boyfriend. It’s obvious the choice he made. Initially, the couple had a long distance relationship during the star’s training period as Koo made the long trips back and forth to Busan from Seoul, however, their relationship was unable to weather the stress and the couple eventually ended it.

Fast forward seven years and here we are; Koo was recently spotted in Busan visiting his son and ex. The family was spotted at a local carnival held in Busan where they played games and even rode a few of the rides together. Witnesses say they seemed like close friends as they toured the area. 

However, there may be a rift forming between the parents as insiders revealed to  _ GOSS _ that Kim has been getting awfully close to Koo’s best friend and fellow K-pop idol, Jeon Jungkook. Jeon was spotted at Kim’s restaurant and with Kim’s family on numerous occasions, even popping on several Instagram accounts that spotted the star working at the restaurant. Jeon also seems to be adopting the role of father quite naturally as he was sighted picking up Kim’s son from the local elementary school. 

Our close sources say this relationship has caused a bit of strain between the two stars as Koo feels he’s being usurped for his role of father by the other singer. “[Junhwe] is very uncomfortable with it. He feels that Jungkook is trying to replace him.” 

However, this doesn’t seem to faze Jeon as he has continued to pursue his relationship with Kim. He was even spotted at several different jewelry stores in Seoul, supposedly looking at engagement rings. 

Could two of K-pop’s most eligible bachelors be off the market soon? And will this spell the end for K-pop’s favorite bromance?”

**\---busan flashback---**

Junhwe rushed up the stairs, bounding up two steps at a time; he dug through his pockets to grab his keys, hands shaking as he slammed the front door wide open with a resounding slam. 

He tried to shrug off his jacket and slip out of his shoes at the same time, looking up to see Donghyuk peek out of the kitchen with a curious look. 

“Are you okay?”

He tripped, slipping on the clean surface of the hardwood floors before roughly getting up. “I’m fine! I’m good!” He grinned manically before grabbing Donghyuk’s hands and dragging him to the couch. “Guess what?”

“What.” His husband deadpanned. 

“I passed!”

“Pass what?”

“The audition! I passed the YG audition!”

“Oh, my god! Are you serious? Congratulations!” Donghyuk launched himself at him, causing them both to fall of the couch, laughing and beaming at each other. His husband sat up, sitting still in his lap as he looked down at Junhwe adoringly. “Looks like all your dreams are coming true.”

“Not all of them.” He smirked.

Donghyuk tilted his head in confusion before shrieking when Junhwe swiftly flipped them over. 

“I love you.” He whispered, leaning down to kiss him softly. 

“I love you too.” 

**\---seoul present---**

The bass of the stereo booms in the club, flashing lights everywhere as bodies dance and writhe out on the floor. The DJ yells into the crowd, pumping them up for excitement before turning on another repetitive track from the charts. 

“Junhwe! You made it!” 

He grinned at the group crowded in the leather booth as he gave a quick fist bump to the man of the hour. “Of course, I made it, Yugyeom. It’s your birthday party!” He patted a few familiar faces before grabbing a drink off a waiter. “Happy birthday, man!”

Yugyeom grins, thanking him before he looks up with another beaming smile. “Jungkook! I thought you weren’t going to make it!”

Junhwe paused, grip tightening around the glass tumbler as he purposefully looked down at the table.

“Donghyuk’s spending the weekend with his parents so I figured I’d stop by.”

He freezes, counting the days in the month before muttering to himself, “Shit.” He makes a move to leave but feels a hand wrap around his arm. He glances at who it belongs to. 

“Going somewhere?” Jungkook looks reserved, calm as he smiles at him. 

Yes. He wants to scream. Yes. He’s going to Donghyuk because he shouldn’t be alone. Not today of all days. 

But he can’t. He doesn’t deserve to. So he shakes his head, “Nah, just wanted to stretch my legs.” He answers, sitting back down in his seat as Jungkook does the same. 

“Well, let’s get the birthday boy some shots!” Someone yells over the music, cheering loudly as colorful shot glasses are brought out to the table. 

Junhwe doesn’t even look at his as he tosses it back.

**\-----**

“Yugyeom, man, you ever been in love?” Jungkook drunkenly rambles, much to the more sober delight of the group. “It’s the best. Like, I don’t know how I went this long without it.”

He glared, downing another shot of tequila and chasing it with a glass of scotch.

“Junhwe, you should slow down.” Someone warns. 

“Seriously, Yugyeom, you need to find someone. Look, look.” Jungkook digs into the pocket of his jeans to pull out a leather box. He flips it open to reveal a simple white gold ring with a single diamond studded in the band. “Isn’t it beautiful? I’m gonna give it to Donghyuk.”

He needs another drink but it’s too late. “I thought he said he wasn’t interested in you.” He practically sneers at the other male. He briefly feels someone holding him back from taking another shot. 

“Obviously, things have changed.” Jungkook glares back at him. 

“Really? Have they? So, now what? You’re going to propose and live happily ever after with him?”

“Yeah! I am!” 

They’re screaming over the music.

“If you really loved him, you’d be with him now!” Junhwe yells, knocking over a bottle of champagne. 

“Then why aren’t you?” Jungkook huffs an angry breath and before he can punch him, he’s being dragged away from the table and out the back door of the club. 

“Let go!” Jungkook follows suit, two buff back up dancers tossing him out. 

“You guys need to settle this outside.” Yugyeom stands soberly between them. “I’m not going to let my two best friends fight like this.  _ On my birthday _ .”

Junhwe scoffs as he watched their friend walk back into the club, leaving them alone in the back alley behind the club. 

Jungkook seems to be sobering up too, kicking his feet on the cold pavement. He’s mumbling something incoherently so he leans in to listen. 

“What? What are you saying?” 

The idol snaps his head up, glaring at him. “What the fuck is it?”

He takes a step back at Jungkook’s outburst. “What are you talking about?”

“What the fuck is it that you have and that I don’t?”

Junhwe stared, standing still even as the other male crowded his space. 

“I don’t get it. Why the fuck-- Shit! Why can’t he love me? Why? Why is it always about you? Fuck! Shit!” Jungkook roughly pushes him but he doesn’t respond. “I don’t get it. I could do so much for him. I’d be so fucking good to him! And he-- But he… Why?” His best friend practically collapses in on himself now, leaning against the wall of the club as he sobs. “Just… Why?”

He doesn’t move, can’t move. His body won’t cooperate as his brain works to process everything Jungkook just spilled to him. He looked down to see Jungkook crouched, burying his face in his hands with a broken sob. 

“Jungkook… I’m sorry.” 

**\---busan flashback---**

“Will you marry me?” 

It felt like the breath was knocked out of him; Donghyuk stared at Jungkook, lips parted in surprise and shock. “I, uh… I…”

“I know you don’t love me. Not yet or anything. But I love you. I’ve never felt this way before.” He confesses shyly. “I’m sure you think this is too fast. And it is! I admit it but I just can’t… I can’t  _ not  _ be with you.” 

Donghyuk took a deep breath, looking down at his hands before looking up at Jungkook again. “I’m sorry.” He bit his lip, sucking in a harsh breath. “I wish… I wish I could say the same but you deserve better. You deserve someone who will love like you do. Who will put you before them. Not me. I can’t do that.”

“Is it because of Junhwe?” Jungkook has tears shining in his eyes.

He shook his head softly, a humorless grin on his face. “No. Maybe. I don’t know.” Donghyuk answers truthfully. “To be honest, I’ve given up on love a long time ago. I spent the last seven years living for Chanwoo and the fifteen years before that, loving only Junhwe. I never would’ve imagined finding someone as wonderful as you.” He reached out to pat the other’s hand comfortingly. “I really wish I could say yes but it wouldn’t be fair to you.”

Jungkook stared at their hands before looking at him. “It’s okay. I don’t care if it’s not fair. I just want to be with you. Use me. Hate me. Anything. Just as long as I get to be with you.”

“I’m really sorry.” Donghyuk whispers hoarsely. 

“What is it? What does Junhwe have that I don’t?” He looks at the other male pleadingly. “What can he give you that I can’t? You said it yourself, you spent fifteen years loving him. Can’t you love me now?”

Donghyuk doesn’t respond, just stares at him sadly before whispering another apology. 

**\---seoul present---**

“Many fans have been eagerly waiting for your new album.” The interviewer smiled politely at Junhwe. 

“Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without them.” He smiles for the camera, hands resting in his lap. 

“I’m sure many people are curious as to who the song is dedicated to.” She teasingly nudged, trying to pry information from him. 

He chuckled. “The song means a lot to me.” He didn’t elaborate, waiting for the reporter to begrudgingly move on to the next question. 

“You’ve been in the news a lot lately, any comments about that?”

Junhwe paused, smiling forcefully before relaxing his shoulders. “My private life is exactly that. Private.” He stopped to think over his words. “However, I am aware of the attention I have attracted lately and I do want to clarify things.” He sat up straight, looking more intently at the camera. “I have a young son in Busan and I did not alert the public about this information as I wanted to protect his privacy as a growing child. His other parent and I… Are not together. We are, however, close friends and will continue to remain as such as we raise our son together.” Junhwe took a deep breath. “I’d also like to disclose that Lisa and I have mutually decided to end our relationship. It’s no one’s fault. Lisa is a great girl and a wonderful person, however, with the recent stress of paparazzi and false rumors, we felt it was best to end our relationship while we were still on good terms. We will continue to remain close friends and I have nothing but absolute love and respect for her and her future.” 

The reporter seemed taken by surprise by the sudden revelation before quickly regaining her senses to thank the singer and close out of the entertainment news segment. 

**\---seoul flashback---**

Junhwe slowly reaches out, engulfing her a hug. He holds her close to his chest, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know.” She whispers back. 

He pulled back gently to look her in the eyes, “You deserve someone so much better than me.”

“I know.” She teases through her tears. 

He smiles back at her. “You saved me, you know. I didn’t know I could love someone ever again and you showed me I could. You saved my life.”

She nods, tears still streaming down her cheeks. “You were both my best and worst boyfriend.”

He grinned, pulling her into a final kiss. “I’m sorry and thank you.”

Lisa just nodded, pulling away softly to gather her bag from the living room, silently strutting out of the villa. 

**\---busan present---**

“Chanwoo! Be careful!” Donghyuk shouted down the beach as his son raced across the sand. He laughed softly as the child disregarded his warnings, too focused on chasing the kite around the sand. 

“Come here you little monster!” There was a playful growl before Chanwoo was scooped up into someone’s arms, tickling his ribs with a ringing laugh. 

“Uncle Jungkook! No!” Chanwoo squirmed, shrieking with laughter as he tried to escape. 

“And the tickle monster has yet again, claimed another victim!” Jungkook cheered in victory before finally letting the child go, setting him back on the ground. 

He smiles warmly, watching as Jungkook strolled over to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Donghyuk grinned teasingly, “Is the tickle monster tired already?” 

The celebrity yawns sheepishly, grinning back at the father. “Exhausted. And starving.”

He laughed softly, “Come on then, let’s go home.”

Jungkook beams at him before quickly chasing Chanwoo once more, lifting him into the air much to the giggling delight of the child.

**\-----**

“Hey, so, what are you doing tomorrow?”

Donghyuk hummed, easily moving about the kitchen as he set the hot pot in the middle of the dining table, slipping out of the oven mitts and setting them aside. “Tomorrow?”

“Yeah. I know Mino hyung and Jinwoo hyung are working the restaurant so you’re free right?” Jungkook trailed after him before catching Chanwoo as he ran by. “Come on, buddy, go wash your hands.”

The child giggled but nodded, saluting the singer before rushing to the bathroom to wash up for dinner.

“So, what do you say? You free tomorrow?”

He hummed softly again, scooping out rice into three identical bowls. 

“Come on.” Jungkook whined, jutting out his bottom lip in a pout. 

“I should take a picture and upload it for all your fans to see. The almighty Jeon Jungkook is pouting.” Donghyuk joked. “Why are you so adamant we go out tomorrow?”

The idol’s lips curled into a shy smile. “I want to take you out on a date.”

“Oh.” He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks. “Well, I’m free in the morning but I… I, uhm, actually meeting Junhwe tomorrow.” He chewed on his bottom lip, avoiding eye contact. “It’s his day with Chanwoo so, I, uh… Yeah.”

“Oh.” Jungkook looks down at his feet, sliding into a dining chair. “Oh, well, maybe some other day, then?”

“Yeah. Definitely.” He breathes out a sigh of relief when Chanwoo climbs into the seat next to him, proudly showing off his clean hands for everyone to see. 

**\-----**

Junhwe keeps his mask high as he sits in the back of the cafe, nursing a hot caramel latte as different patrons filter in and out of the place. He stared down at the oak surface of the table, glancing up when the seats opposite of him were filled. He immediately grinned, eyes crinkling as he made a move to remove the mask from his face. “Hey Chanwoo!”

“Hi!” The child beams at him before turning to Donghyuk. “Daddy, can I get hot cocoa?”

Before the other male has time to respond, Junhwe interjects. “I’ll get it for you! I’ll get you some hot cocoa. You guys wait here.” He practically trips out of of the booth before whipping around quickly. “Uh, do you want anything, Donghyuk?”

His ex seems stunned for a brief second before shaking his head politely. “No thanks.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

He nodded, rushing to the front counter to order a large hot chocolate with extra whipped cream  and sprinkles.

Setting the paper cup down, he beamed down at his son as Chanwoo quickly made grabby hands for the over indulgent drink. 

“Wow, hope you’re okay to deal with the inevitable sugar rush.” Donghyuk observed before reaching for a napkin to wipe away the whipped cream on the kid’s nose. “Because I’m not going to deal with Chanwoo on a sugar high.”

Junhwe shrugged, watching as Chanwoo rambled excitedly about his first grade class and friends all the while somehow taking little sips of his drink. He peeked over at Donghyuk, watching his ex look over their son fondly. He mentally shook himself out of his trance, turning back to Chanwoo with a wide grin. 

**\-----**

“--And then! Mr. Lee brought in his pet dogs and they were kind of funny looking but really nice and I asked daddy if we could get dogs and he said one of me is already a handful but I don’t know what that means.” Chanwoo rambled on, not paying attention to the two adults as Donghyuk cut up his lunch, simply accepting whatever food was aimed his way. “Because I’m bigger than daddy’s hand so how can I fit into a handful?” He looked up inquisitively at Junhwe, tilting his head in confusion. 

Donghyuk chuckled, “Chanwoo, I meant it is a figure of speech.”

“Oh.” The child seems to accept the explanation, turning back to Junhwe to go off on another random tangent. 

Chanwoo eventually gets bored of the conversation and manages to wrestle a handful of quarters off of Junhwe before heading to the arcade in the back of the restaurant. They sit still in the booth, glancing over occasionally to check on their son as he laughs gleefully at beating another high score on the monitor. 

Junhwe peeked over his glass to see the small smile on Donghyuk’s face as he watched Chanwoo run around the arcade. He couldn’t help but grin at how serene Donghyuk looked, taking the time to admire the change that seven years had brought upon him. There were little wrinkles by his eyes, aggravated by the fact that he was almost always smiling, and his cheeks had become a bit more hollow, most likely from age, accentuating the sharp curve of his jawline. He was tempted to reach forward like he had seven years ago and pretend this was his life. That this had been his life for the last seven years. That he had not gone to Seoul but instead, stayed in Busan with his friends, with his family; that he had learned about the news of his son through some creative way that Donghyuk found on Pinterest. That he had waited hand and foot on his husband, eagerly waiting for the birth of his son. That he had managed his parents’ restaurant with him and been completely content with this life. With Chanwoo. With Donghyuk. 

_ “Nae pi, ddam, nunmul…”  _

He broke out of his trance, looking down at Donghyuk’s phone as it buzzed incessantly on the table. 

“Oh, sorry.” Donghyuk flashed him an apologetic grin before answering the cell. “Hello? No, I’m still with… Yeah, we just ate lunch.” He laughed, hiding his smile behind a tan hand, “I thought you survived on cup ramen and take out?” He giggled ( _ fucking giggled _ ). “I’ll be home soon. Yeah… I miss you too. Bye.” There was a pink flush that spread across his cheeks; Donghyuk bit his bottom lip shyly as he continued his goodbyes. 

Junhwe looked away, turning his attention back to Chanwoo as he clung desperately to a claw machine, trying to wrestle a stuffed animal out of it. He did his best to try and ignore the conversation, trying to erase the image of Donghyuk smiling so warmly from his head. 

“We should go soon. Tomorrow’s Monday and I’m sure Chanwoo has some homework he forgot to tell me about.” 

He looked up, bringing his bottom lip between teeth before nodding hesitantly. “Right, we should… We should go.” He moved to gather his things, stuffing his phone and wallet into his pockets before glancing over to see Donghyuk call Chanwoo over, helping him slip his jacket on. 

“But I didn’t win that toy!” Chanwoo whined, hanging off Donghyuk’s pants with wide eyes. 

“Chanwoo, I think you have enough toys. In fact, I think the bigger problem is your uncles won’t stop buying them for you.”

“But this one’s Pikachu!” He wrapped his small body around Donghyuk’s left leg, refusing to let go. “I don’t have Pikachu!” 

“Yes but you have Squirtle and Charmander and Bulbasaur and a whole bunch of other ones that Uncle Mino bought you for your birthday last year.” He easily reached down, prying little fingers off his jeans before lifting him up to balance him against his hip. “Besides, we have to go home and do your homework.”

“I hate homework.” Chanwoo mumbles, burying his face in the crook of his father’s neck. 

Junhwe chuckled, looking down at Chanwoo reminded him so much of his younger self. 

“Remind you of anyone?”

He looked back at Donghyuk who was giving him a small smirk before shaking his head teasingly. 

“Come on. Uncle Hanbin said he’s buying choco-cones for dessert. Don’t you want a choco-cone?”

Instantly, the child’s demeanor brightened, nodding enthusiastically as they made their way out of the family restaurant. Donghyuk laughed at the change in their son, hoisting him back on the ground when they stepped out of the door, he made a move to reach for his hand, locking their fingers tight so as not to lose him. 

“Is Uncle Junhwe going to come too?”

They both froze, sharing a look before turning to face their son again. 

“Uh, Uncle Junhwe is busy tonight so he could only have lunch. But maybe next time.” Donghyuk ruffled his hair, careful not to make eye contact with him. 

“Really?” Chanwoo sounded so small between them, looking up at Junhwe with big hopeful eyes. 

The singer cleared his throat before nodding quickly. “Yeah. Of course.” 

“Okay!” He immediately let the topic go, talking about his favorite pokemon and how he had traded one of his Pidgeons with his friends. 

**\-----**

Pulling up in a black Mercedes, Junhwe halted in front of the familiar walkway to the apartment. Donghyuk glanced in the backseat to see Chanwoo had fallen asleep in the ride over, mouth wide open as his head rolled against the seat belt. He chuckled softly to himself before making a move to remove his own safety belt, stepping out of the vehicle with ease. 

Junhwe quickly stepped to the back, careful not to jostle the seats too much as he slid Chanwoo out of the car seat, resting him against his chest. 

He made his way over to the singer, arms stretched to carefully receive the child. “This was fun.”

“It was.” Junhwe looked contemplative, like something was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t quite get it out. 

Just as he made a move to ask him if everything was okay, the front door to the apartment building swung open. 

“Hey! Was wondering where you were.” Jungkook stepped out in sweats, carrying a black trash bag with him. “Jinhwan hyung’s making me throw out the trash and when I said K-pop stars don’t do chores, he hit me.” He whined before glancing at the sleeping child in his arms. “Oh, did Channie fall asleep? Want me to take him?”

Donghyuk shook his head, careful not to wake him up. “It’s okay. He’s probably exhausted, he had a busy day.” He smiled warmly before turning to Junhwe. “Hey, is next week okay? Chanwoo has a three day weekend so we can come up to Seoul.”

Junhwe seemed to wake from his thoughts before nodding quickly. “Y-yeah! That’d be great, actually! I could show him around Seoul and--”

“I’ll drive you guys up. Hoseok hyung’s been bothering me to come by the recording studio for my next album anyway. Something about spending too much time in Busan.” Jungkook joked, glancing at him with a teasing grin. 

He smiled back before nodding gratefully. “That sounds good.” He turned back to his ex, “I’ll text you about it, okay?”

“Okay. Yeah, okay.” Junhwe flashed him a wry grin. 

“Great. Good night.” He made a move to walk back to the front entrance, feeling Jungkook wrap an arm around his waist as they walked up the steps. He took one last peek over his shoulder to see Junhwe standing still under the street light. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> low key ships jungkook and donghyuk now  
> (how did my life come to this?)


	5. net

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so trigger warning alert! for implied suicide attempt

**\---seoul present---**

       “Chanwoo, is this your first time in Seoul?” Jungkook glanced in the rearview mirror to see the six year old staring out the car window excitedly, commenting on the high rise buildings and sleek cars that buzzed past them. 

       The child barely registered what the idol said, pointing at a jet fly over the city before squealing excitedly about the glittering shine of the 63 building. 

       Donghyuk grinned in the passenger’s seat, “He’s never been outside of Busan so he’s a bit distracted.”

       Jungkook chuckled, “No problem. Maybe next time I can show you guys around the city. Be your personal tour guide.”

       “That’d be fun.” He commented, watching as the singer pulled into the private garage of a large modern building. “So this is YG, huh?”

       “The one and only.” He pulled into a parking spot, quickly turning off the engine before unlocking the doors. Jungkook grabbed their bags from the trunk, jokingly making a big display of strength before leading the family into the building. “You sure you don’t want me to stick around?”

       “Nah, it’s fine. Plus, you said Hoseok hyung needed you at the recording studio.” He smiled at the other male, keeping a close eye on Chanwoo to make sure he didn’t press all the buttons on the elevator. “We’ll be fine.”

       “I know. I know.” He sighed, leaning against the metal wall of the elevator. “I just wish I could hang out with you guys.”

       Donghyuk laughed softly, “You spent the last two weeks with us in Busan, I think you can afford a few hours away from us.” 

       The idol grinned slightly, nodding in mock defeat. “I guess you’re right… But as soon as I’m done in the recording studio, I’m taking you out to dinner at Namsan tower.”

       He relented with a chuckle. “Okay. Text me when you’re done, yeah?”

       Jungkook nodded, grinning widely at him; he leaned forward to try and crowd him into a corner of the elevator when the doors slid wide open to reveal Junhwe standing tall at the entrance. The singer looked sheepishly at his best friend, “Hey Junhwe.” 

       His ex glared back but then looked down at Chanwoo with a big smile, “Hey Chanwoo!” 

       “Hi! Daddy says you work here!” The boy pushed past the adults, peering excitedly at all the new technology. 

       Junhwe couldn’t help but grin, laughing softly. “Yeah. This is the recording studio. It’s where I do most my songwriting.” He easily slipped Chanwoo’s small hand with his own, giving him a tour of the futuristic recording studio. 

       Donghyuk turned to flash a quick smile at Jungkook, barely gleaming the frown on his face. “I’ll see you later.”

       The singer  looked up with a soft grin, “Yeah! Yeah… I’ll text you. Dinner tonight.”

       He chuckled, “Yeah, dinner.”

**\-----**

       Chanwoo climbed over everything; he was full of energy as he jumped from surface to surface, scrambling on top of furniture despite Donghyuk’s best protests. 

       Junhwe just laughed at how the other male struggled to chase him around the recording studio. “Donghyuk, it’s fine. Let him explore a bit.”

       His ex looked up at him, trying to get their son down from his trophy case. “I just don’t want him to break anything.” Donghyuk reasoned, looking pointedly at Chanwoo as he grabbed at a Grammy recklessly.

       “It’s fine. I wouldn’t have invited you guys here if I didn’t know the risks.” He teased before opening his arms a bit to have his son jump into his embrace. “Hey, it’s almost lunchtime so why don’t we head to down to the cafeteria and grab something to eat?”

       “If it means Chanwoo will sit still for ten minutes, then yes.” Donghyuk grabbed Chanwoo’s backpack off the floor, trailing behind them to the elevator with an exhausted sigh. “I knew I shouldn’t have let Jungkook buy you those chocolate chip pancakes.” The father jokingly complained, pinching their son’s cheeks with a grin. 

       “But they were yummy!”

       “Yeah but they got you all hopped up on sugar.” 

       “I like sugar! Do you like sugar? I love sugar!” Chanwoo placed both hands on Junhwe’s cheeks, shrieking gleefully at him. 

       He smiled back at him, unfazed by the random changes in volume. “I like sugar too. Maybe, after lunch we can get dessert.”

       “Oh, no. After lunch, Chanwoo is going to take a nap. Besides, he’s had enough sugar today.” Donghyuk interjected just as the elevator doors slid open to reveal the cafeteria.

       “Aw, come on. He’s a little kid. Let him have some fun. You let Jungkook buy him sweets. I should be able to get him sweets too.” He argued, lips curling bitterly around his best friend’s name. 

       Donghyuk shook his head, rolling his eyes slightly at the childish possessiveness of the statement. “Parenting isn’t all fun and games. You can’t just buy him sweets and think that makes you a good dad. You gotta make him eat broccoli and carrots too.”

       “Ew. Broccoli.” Chanwoo made a face of disgust, only half listening to their conversation. 

       “Ew is right.” He nodded in agreement before looking over at the other’s disapproving stare. “But duly noted. Come on, Chanwoo, let’s eat some veggies!” He tried his best to psych him up but vegetables were a hard sell to a six year old. 

**\---busan flashback---**

       He stared at the white flyer in his hand, studying the black and white image before looking up to see the same, identical building in front of him. There was a reason real estate agents refused to use color in their pictures and that reason was to make sure buyers didn’t realize how shitty the place was. 

       Still, he climbed up the cracked cement steps, walking towards the entrance door that was barely holding on to its hinges. He glanced over the peeling paint, grimacing at the rusty bars that were bolted over the windows; he could already hear Donghyuk’s cheery voice in his head, ‘ _ It’s got character, Junhwe. _ ’

       He unlocked the door, noting the flickering lights as he stood in the apartment hall; the walls were bare and the paint looked like it had been stained from water damage. One of the ceiling lights were smashed, leaving a dark shadow on one end of the hall. Junhwe shook his head before shuffling towards the staircase, making a mental reminder to fix the railing as it hung loosely off the wall. Fishing the key the landlord had handed him out of his pocket, he stopped in front of a door marked 3A, carefully swinging it open with a loud squeak. 

       Admittedly, the interior of the apartment fared better than the rest of the building; the apartment had new laminate flooring and there was a fresh coat of white paint over the walls. There were a few chips and cracks in the trimmings but hardly noticeable.  _ ‘See, it’s cozy.’ _

       He rolled his eyes before glancing up when the landlord finally came around again with a weary smile. 

       “Like I said, the inside’s much better and I’m willing to give you a discount on the deposit--”

       “I’ll take it.” He grinned at the older man, eyes crinkled. “It’s perfect.”

       “Sure, kid but don’t you want to talk to your girlfriend or whatever?”

       He didn’t answer, surveying the apartment again; Donghyuk will love it. He knows he will. 

**\---seoul present---**

       He ran a hand through his son’s hair, smiling softly as Chanwoo further buried his face in the pillow. 

       “Wow, I thought kids were usually hard to put asleep.”

       Donghyuk looked up to see his ex hovering over them with a fond look; he shrugged quietly, “Chanwoo’s very energetic when he’s awake but he tires prettily easily because of his anemia.” Standing up slowly to avoid disturbing the child, he glanced at the clock behind Junhwe. “Do you think you could handle him on your own for a few hours?”

       “Donghyuk, he’s asleep, I think I can handle it. Why?”

       He cleared his throat, turning away to begin gathering some of Chanwoo’s toys and placing them in the Power Rangers themed backpack. “Jungkook asked me out to dinner.”

       There was a long pause. “Oh.”

       He didn’t turn back around, fiddling with the hem of his jacket instead. “I could cancel… If you want me to?”

       Silence. “No. Don’t. I’ll, uh, I’ll be with Chanwoo. You deserve a night off.” Junhwe heaves a small sigh. “Don’t worry about us.”

       Nodding quietly, he finally glanced up at the other male. “Thanks.” 

       The singer looks like he wants to say something but he glances away instead. “So, how long are you in Seoul for?”

       He hummed quietly, “Chanwoo has the Monday off so I was thinking we’d leave Monday afternoon.”

       “Oh, cool.” Junhwe taps his fingers against his thigh, some unfamiliar piano medley. He cleared his throat roughly. “So, uh, where are you guys staying then?”

       He stared down at his thumbs, “Jungkook has a spare room in his apartment that he offered…” Donghyuk pretends not to notice the tight curl of Junhwe’s fist. “It’s only for two nights. I thought about getting a hotel but he insisted--”

       “Stay with me.”

       He looked over at Junhwe, studying his features for a long silent moment. “What?”

       “I… I mean, Chanwoo’s my son so he should stay with me, right? And I’ve got extra rooms, you can stay there.”

       “Junhwe--”

       “Please.”

       His eyes flit over the desperate plea in his voice before nodding slowly. “Okay. Yeah, okay.”

**\---seoul flashback---**

       “Seems a bit big.”

       He looked over at Yunhyung as he set a cardboard box down. “I’ll grow into it.”

       “Dude, this place is amazing.” Jungkook whizzed by with Yugyeom, dropping off more moving boxes. “This is going to be one sick bachelor pad.”

       His manager rolls his eyes, walking over to him with an unreadable look. “Sure you won’t get lonely here?”

       Junhwe shrugged, looking down at the hardwood floors before glancing up to stare out the floor to ceiling windows, whispering quietly. “He always liked the water. I mean, I know the Han river isn’t the same as the ocean but I figured it was close enough.” 

       Yunhyung placed a warm hand on his shoulder, “Junhwe…”

       “We always talked about our dream apartment.” He paused, finally looking at the other male. “He wanted hardwood floors and floor to ceiling windows.” He smiled fondly to himself. “He wanted an open floor plan so we could host dinners and have friends and family over. I wanted three bedrooms. One for us, one guest bedroom, and one for a future child.” His chuckle turned sour. “Wanted to raise them near a park like we were raised.” 

       “Funny, this apartment seems perfect for all that.” 

       He breathed out a humorless chuckle. “Yeah, funny, isn’t it?”

**\---seoul present---**

       “Are you sure you don’t want to stay at my place?” Jungkook looked across the table, barely touching his steak. “I mean, Chanwoo could stay with Junhwe but you could stay at my place.”

       Donghyuk shrugged, looking down at his own meal with an unreadable expression. “I think it’s best if I stay with Chanwoo. A lot has happened today; I don’t want him to feel overwhelmed.”

       The idol pursed his lips but didn’t push any further. “So, how do you like Seoul so far?”

       He took a small breath of relief, flashing Jungkook a small smile. “It’s nice but I still miss home.” 

       “Really?”

       “Yeah, I don’t know what it is but I feel restless if I’m not near water. Like I’m not free.” He chuckled, cutting into his steak with a clean knife. “My family used to joke I was part fish because I’d spend all my time at the beach.”

       Jungkook grinned, “Well, there’s the Han river.” 

       He smiled, “Yeah. If I ever moved to Seoul, I’d probably have to live next to the river.”

       “So, there is a possibility you’d move?”

       He doesn’t answer, simply sips his wine and moves on to the next topic.

**\-----**

       Junhwe tucks Chanwoo in one of two guest bedrooms, watching as he drifts off into a deep slumber with an incoherent mumble, clutching his plush toy close to his chest. He smiled warmly, reaching over to turn off the lamp before quietly shuffling out of the room. 

       Silently closing the door, he breathed a sigh of relief; Donghyuk wasn’t kidding when he said their son was very energetic awake. He took a look around the living room to survey the damage. Couch cushions had been pulled off and scattered the floor; Chanwoo had managed to get paint on the ceiling somehow and there were pieces of his dinner that stuck to the walls. He grimaced at the mess before slowly moving to begin cleaning up. 

       Tossing the last cushion back on the couch, he glanced over at his phone to check the time, running a hand through his hair when he saw it was nearing midnight but Donghyuk was still not home. 

       Junhwe grabbed a beer out of the fridge, slumping onto the couch as he glared at the clock. Each tick was mocking him, taunting him relentlessly. He took a long sip, trying to focus on the bitter taste instead of the endless ticking of the clock. 

**\-----**

       Quietly swinging the front door open, Donghyuk shuffled in as silently as he could, slipping out of his sneakers as he trailed into the luxury condo. The lights were dim as he walked through the hallway, walking into the wide open living room; he halted as he glanced at the black leather sofa. Junhwe was draped over the surface, cheek pressed into a soft pillow as a few empty beer bottles were scattered on the floor. 

       He sighed, grabbing the empty beer bottles and placing them in the sink. He picked up a few stray toys, tossing them into one area so Chanwoo could easily find them the next morning before walking towards the couch. He gently reached out, shaking Junhwe’s shoulder as he whispered softly, “Junhwe, come on, you can’t sleep on the couch.”

       The singer groaned, turning away to huddle further into the couch. 

       Donghyuk rolled his eyes, “Junhwe, wake up.”

       “...No.” The idol mumbled, burying himself in layers of blankets and cushions. 

       “You can’t sleep out here. You’ll get a cold.”

       Junhwe mumbled again, “... Can’t… Waiting for Dong.”

       He froze, staring down at the figure; he moved to crouch down, looking at him curiously. “What are you doing, June?” He whispered softly. “What are you doing to me?” He sighed out another breath before moving to grab a warm throw from the loveseat, draping it over his ex. “Good night, June.”

**\-----**

       He woke up in an empty bed; running his hands over the side only to curl his hand over Chanwoo’s abandoned stuffed lion. Donghyuk sat up with a long yawn, tossing his legs over the side of the bed before running his hand through his hair in a poor attempt to tame it. He stretched his limbs, already hearing the loud laughter of his son echoing in the condo. 

       He shuffled out with another stifled yawn, blinking tiredly as he happened upon the other residents in the kitchen. He had to rub the sleep out of his eyes to make sure he wasn’t dreaming as he stared at Junhwe flipping eggs on a frying pan before grabbing a waffle from the waffle iron. 

       “Daddy!” 

       Donghyuk looked over to see Chanwoo standing on one of the kitchen stools, grinning at him. He smiled back, moving to wrap his arms around the child’s torso and lifting him up off his seat. “Hey, what are you guys up to?”

       “Breakfast! I got to crack an egg!”

       Junhwe barely looked up from the frying pan. “He got a bit of the shell but I managed to fish it out.”

       “We’re making blueberry waffles! That’s daddy’s favorite, right?”

       He masked his surprise with a warm smile, nodding. “Yes, Chanwoo, those are my favorite.”

       “They’re almost done.” Junhwe moved the eggs onto three clean plates, lining some bacon on the side as he glanced at the waffle maker. “Chanwoo, why don’t you help me set the table?”

       “Okay!” The child basically flew out of his arms, rummaging through the kitchen drawers to grab forks before racing to the dining room. 

       “You didn’t have to do all of this.” He walked over to the refrigerator to grab some orange juice. 

       Junhwe shrugged. “I wanted to. It’s not like I get to do this every day.”

       He stills at the comment before startling when Chanwoo crashes into his legs with a grin; he smiled back, hoping no one notices the tight line of his face or the tense muscle in his jaw. 

**\---busan flashback---**

       “June?”

       He hummed softly, not bothering to open his eyes as Donghyuk kept running his fingers through his hair. 

       “Do you ever think about moving back to Busan?”

       Tensing, his eyes flashed open to stare at his husband. With a still breath, he managed to grit out a rough, “What?”

       Donghyuk seems to wilt under his glare, looking down at his hands guiltily. “I was just thinking… Wondering, really, if you ever, I don’t know, thought about moving back?”

       He sighed, roughly running a hand through his hair before turning back to the other male. “Dong, this is… This is my dream. To be a singer, to stand on stage.”

       “I know. I just… I miss you, you know?”

       “Yeah, I know.” He immediately softens, “I miss you too. I miss you like crazy.”

       Donghyuk gave him a wry grin. 

       “Move to Seoul.”

       His husband gave him an exasperated sigh, smile faint on his lips. “We talked about this. I can’t leave Jinwoo hyung and Hanbin hyung.”

       “We could all move up to Seoul.” Junhwe argued childishly, jutting out his bottom lip in an indignant pout. 

       Donghyuk smiled fondly, reaching out a hand to straighten Junhwe’s unruly hair. “I thought you said you wanted to raise our kids in our hometown?”

       He bit his lip, nodding carefully. “Yeah, I want our kids to grow up by the beach and play in the same park but Seoul is… There’s so many more opportunities there.” 

       His husband dimmed, “Let’s just talk about something else, yeah? You’re only here for a few days before you gotta go back to the studio.” 

       Junhwe paused slightly, nodding slowly. “Yeah, okay.” 

**\---seoul present---**

       “So, Chanwoo, what do you want to do today?” 

       The six year old was completely engrossed in Junhwe’s state of the art LED TV, barely sparing either adult a glance. He shrugged the question off, too enamored by Pororo on the large screen. 

       Donghyuk rolled his eyes fondly before clearing his throat, “Chan, it’s not nice to ignore people.” 

       Chanwoo sighed dramatically before turning away from the TV. “But it’s Pororo!” 

       “Is Pororo more important than me?” Donghyuk teased, immediately scooping his son into a hug, running ticklish fingers against his ribs. 

       “No! Don’t tickle!” The kid whined in between his fits of giggling, trying his best to escape the father’s hold. 

       He watched them fondly, smiling softly at the comfortableness of the father and son with a dull pang of guilt and envy. 

       “Save me!” Chanwoo managed to wriggle away from Donghyuk, leaping on the couch to hide behind Junhwe with a wide grin. “You have to save me from the tickle monster!” He gripped the back of his shirt, pointing at Donghyuk. “Look! There he is! That’s the tickle monster!”

       His ex laughed freely, bringing up his hands to wiggle his fingers teasingly. “The tickle monster is gonna get you!”

       Chanwoo shrieked, hiding behind him again to avoid his father; Junhwe chuckled before peeking over his shoulder to glance at his son. “Don’t worry, Chanwoo-yah, I’ll protect you from the tickle monster!” He made an exaggerated move to tackle Donghyuk, laughing as he felt the child cling to his neck, taunting Donghyuk childishly. 

       “Don’t let the tickle monster get you!” 

       “I would never!” He laughs as Donghyuk makes a move to try and capture their son, twisting his body away to shield Chanwoo; he darted away, lifting the child away to hide behind his expensive suede armchair. 

       “We have to hide from the tickle monster!” Chanwoo tugs on his shirt, forcing him to crouch down as Donghyuk continues to ‘hunt’ for them. 

       The other male growls playfully, “Here comes the tickle monster!” Jumping on top of the furniture to give his best menacing “monster” expression before falling back in laughter as Chanwoo giggled, turning around to try and escape his clutches.

       Junhwe moves to lock the other male against the leather couch, lips stretched into a wide grin. “I caught the tickle monster.”

       “Yay! You caught it!” Chanwoo looks up from his “safe spot,” the top of his dining table, with a wide grin, clapping excitedly.

       He laughs along, turning back to face Donghyuk with a smirk before his heart stops, feeling like it was trying to climb up his throat as he stares down with flushed cheeks. His ex is breathing hard from running around the condo, chest heaving as he looks up at him through dark lashes and with pink cheeks, beaming at him. The world goes silent for one long second before all of his senses rush back to him, like ocean waves crashing on the beach. 

**\-----**

       There’s an incessant knocking on his front door and he wants to ignore the sound but there’s a whine to his left; he peeks one eye open to see Chanwoo tucked into his side, napping quietly as he does his best to ignore whoever is knocking. Junhwe lifted his head to see Donghyuk curled up on the other side of Chanwoo, practically dead to the world as he slept. 

       He rolled his eyes; Donghyuk could sleep through a hurricane if he wanted to. Slowly extracting himself from the six year old’s grip, he shuffled out of the master bedroom and to the front door, ready to reprimand whoever was knocking. 

       “What--” He stopped, staring at Jungkook in his pristine white shirt and designer jeans. 

       The other idol didn’t seemed fazed by his harsh tone, eyes narrowing slightly at his crumpled shirt before clearing his throat roughly. “Donghyuk’s not answering his phone.” He spoke in a monotone, trying to peer over his shoulder to look into the luxury condo. “We had plans to get dinner and take Chanwoo to Lotte World.” 

       Selfishly, he wants to hide his family from the rest of the world; he wants to pretend that he doesn’t know what Jungkook is talking about, wants to send him away. 

       “Papa…” 

       They turned around to see Chanwoo at the end of the hallway, tightly clutching his stuffed lion as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. 

       “Oh, sorry, buddy, did we wake you?” Jungkook immediately brightens, crouching down to be eye level with the child.

       “Hungry… Pizza…” The six year old mumbles as he makes his way towards them before halting in front of him, arms outstretched in a silent demand to be lifted. “Papa up.”

       Instinctively, he leans down to grab Chanwoo before his sleep-addled brain catches up to him. Chanwoo called him papa.  _ His son _ called him papa. 

       His heart thunders in his chest as warmth blooms over him. “You want pizza? We can get pizza! We can get all the pizza you want!”

       Chanwoo smiles sleepily, nuzzling into his chest as his eyes flutter closed again. 

       “Hey, have you seen Chan-- Jungkook?” Donghyuk shuffled out of the bedroom, stretching his limbs with a yawn when he happens upon the rest of them. “Oh, my god, is it six already? I am so sorry! We took a nap and I forgot to set an alarm--”

       “It’s fine.” Jungkook perks up at the sight of the father. “I can call and move the reservation for later.” 

       “Okay, just give me like twenty minutes to get ready.” Donghyuk darts out of sight to change clothes. 

       “Take your time!” The idol’s voice echoes down the hall; Jungkook turns to face him with a sharp glare. “You look like you’ve been having fun.”

       Chanwoo mumbles drowsily against his chest, little fists curled in the fabric of his shirt; Junhwe shifted to more comfortably tuck the child against him before sparing Jungkook a glance. “We are.” He bites his tongue to stop himself from snarking at the other celebrity. 

       “Okay, I’m ready.” Donghyuk stalked out of the guest bedroom, dressed in a pair of heather gray trousers and a crisp white shirt. “Oh, looks like Chan’s still sleeping.” He pursed his lips, thinking for a long moment before glancing at the others. “I don’t want to wake him if he’s sleeping.”

       “It’s fine. We can take him to Lotte World next time we’re in Seoul.” Jungkook offers a reassuring smile. 

       Donghyuk nods slowly, glancing at him before his eyes drop down to Chanwoo again. “Do you think you could handle watching him again?”

       “I survived the first night. I think I can manage today.” He teased. 

       “Okay… Just call me if you need anything.”

       “Dong, you don’t have to worry about him.”

       “I’m not worried about Chanwoo. I’m worried about you.” 

       He sucked in a short breath, looking over at Donghyuk with a soft expression when he saw Jungkook move in his peripheral. 

       “We should go, I texted Hoseok hyung to move our reservations but I doubt they’ll keep our table forever.” The idol had a warm grin, extending his hand for the other to take. 

       Junhwe watched as Donghyuk easily took the offered hand, waving him and their son goodbye; he watches for what seems like the umpteenth time in his life, Donghyuk walk away. 

**\-----**

       The sun sets, casting a pink glow over the city as darkness slowly begins to pour over the Seoul streets. Everyone moves hurriedly, darting through narrow walkways as the evening breeze washes over people. 

       “It’s pretty, right?”

       He glanced over his shoulder to see Jungkook smiling warmly at him; Donghyuk nodded before staring out the window again. “I’m sorry we missed our dinner reservations.”

       The idol chuckled breathlessly, “Donghyuk, I told you it’s fine. Besides, it gave me an excuse to show you my apartment and cook for you.”

       Grinning, he finally faced the other male. “I gotta admit it’s a nice change since I’m always the one cooking.” He gracefully accepted a glass of red wine. “Although, I don’t know what to expect since you did tell me you practically live off of takeout and instant ramen.”

       Jungkook waved him off with a grin. “I do know how to cook, I just don’t cook  _ often _ .”

       “Ah.” He nodded mockingly. “So, chef Jungkook, what are we eating tonight?”

       The other male shook his head, lips curled into a playful smile. “It’s a surprise.”

       Donghyuk teasingly grimaced. “It’s going to be edible, right?”

       “Of course it is!” Jungkook wore a wounded expression before breaking out into a grin. “It’s going to be edible and it’s going to be so delicious, you’re going to ask me to be the new chef of your restaurant.”

       He rolled his eyes, laughing at the other’s enthusiasm. “What will your fans do when the famous Jeon Jungkook quits singing to be a chef at a small seafood restaurant?”

       “Probably come to the small seafood restaurant to see my beautiful face.” 

**\-----**

       “That was surprisingly edible.” Donghyuk commented with a playful grin, laughing loudly when Jungkook shot him a jokingly wounded look. “Okay, okay, that was really good pasta.”

       “Thank you.” The idol’s lips split into a wide smile. “Had to bribe Jin hyung to teach me his recipe so it had better be good.”

       He chuckled, settling onto the leather couch, setting his wine glass on the matte black coffee table. He ran a hand through his hair before glancing at the clock; his hand immediately reached for his cellphone. “I think I’m going to check on Chanwoo and--”

       “Donghyuk, Chanwoo’s fine.” Jungkook placed a warm hand over his, stopping him from dialing his phone. “I’m sure Junhwe would’ve called if there was something wrong.” 

       “I know. You’re right. You’re right.” He pulled away from the mobile device, biting his bottom lip. “I just, I haven’t  _ not  _ been around him, you know? It’s weird being separated from him for this long.”

       “He’s fine.” Jungkook’s voice was soft and reassuring, smile warm and comforting as they sat close together. 

       “Yeah, yeah. You’re right.” He whispered back, eyes trained on the cellphone.

       “Donghyuk?”

       He hummed in reply before looking up through dark lashes to see Jungkook closer than ever, leaning in quietly to press their lips together. 

       He made a slight noise of surprise before his eyes fluttered closed, allowing the idol to press him back against the surface of the couch, whining softly in the back of his throat. 

**\-----**

       Junhwe paced the guest bedroom, his footsteps practically digging into the floor. He glanced over at Chanwoo with a desperate look. “Come on, please stop crying. I’ll buy you anything you want!”

       “I want daddy!” 

       He sighed heavily, muttering under his breath, “Me too.” He grabbed the numerous toys Donghyuk had packed in his duffel bag, displaying them to the child. “Daddy’s busy right now but don’t you want to play with your toys?” He tried to mimic the imagination of a child as he paraded the toys on the floor. 

       “No! I want daddy!” The six year old kicked his legs in frustration. 

       “How about we read a story? I think Donghyuk packed a few books.”

       “Daddy! Daddy!” 

       “Do you want more pizza? We could order another pizza!”

       “Where’s daddy? I want daddy!” 

       Sighing harshly, he reached over across the bed and grabbed Chanwoo, lifting him up to rock him against his chest. Shushing quietly, Junhwe whispered lowly, “It’s okay, Chanwoo-yah… Daddy will be home soon, okay?” He rubbed a comforting hand against the child’s back, rocking him back and forth like he saw Donghyuk do when Chanwoo was feeling particularly fatigued. “Papa’s here. It’s okay. I’m here.”

       Chanwoo’s cries softened, fists beginning to relax as his whimpering slowed down. 

       He peeked down to see the six year old with weary eyes, sniffling quietly as he snuggled against him. Junhwe continued to rock them back and forth until Chanwoo yawned, shifting them on the bed; the kid refused to let go, fists curled tightly in the soft cotton of his T-shirt. “Don’t worry, Chanwoo-yah, I’m here.”

**\-----**

       He groaned lowly, feeling the cool leather couch press against his back before warm hands were placed on his waist; Donghyuk let a small yelp slip past his lips when Jungkook maneuvered them off the sectional, easily lifting him up. Instinctively, he wrapped his legs around the other’s waist, ankles locking together against his lower back. 

       “Fuck…” Jungkook pulled away for a long breath, hands on his thighs as he walked through the apartment. 

       He grinned breathlessly, running his fingers through the other’s hair as they stepped through to the master bedroom. “Excited?” Donghyuk teased, chuckling when Jungkook growled, tossing him on the king sized bed.

       “You have no idea.” 

**\---busan flashback---**

       “I didn’t know what to get.”

       “So you bought fifty condoms and twelve different types of lube?” Donghyuk shot his boyfriend an amused look. 

       “I didn’t know what you’d like!” Junhwe shot his hands up innocently. 

       “Peach lube… That’s interesting. Oh, look, there’s strawberry. You like strawberries, Junhwe.”

       The taller male blushed, looking away awkwardly. “I got, uh, mango since you know, you like mangoes.”

       He cooed sweetly, “Aww, my boyfriend knows me so well.” 

       Junhwe’s flush deepened, looking down at his fidgeting hands instead. “I just. I want our first time to be, you know, good. Like special.”

       His eyes softened fondly as he chuckled lightly, “I’m with the guy I love, what’s more special than that?”

**\---seoul present---**

       “Do you need a ride back down to Busan tomorrow?” 

       Donghyuk turned away from the car window, staring at Jungkook’s profile for a long second before shaking his head quietly. “No, Junhwe already offered.”

       “Oh, okay.”

       He stared down at his hands, thumbing at the empty space on his left ring finger. “I’m sorry.”

       The idol chuckled airily, pulling his eyes away from the road briefly, “I told you it’s fine.” He turned back to focus on his driving. “I’m sorry if you felt like I was rushing you or anything.” 

       “You weren’t. I mean, I’m not sure I’m ready for… That. But I didn’t feel like you were pressuring me or anything.” He stared down at his hands, sighing softly. “I just, I’m sorry. I feel like I’m leading you on or something.”

       “Hey,” Jungkook kept one hand on the steering wheel, reaching over to hold his hand. “You didn’t do anything. If you don’t want to do this, that’s fine. We’ll wait until you’re ready.”

       Donghyuk stared at their joined hands, breathing out in relief. “Thanks.” 

**\-----**

       He quickly patted his pockets before letting out a sigh of frustration; he didn’t want to wake Chanwoo up by ringing the doorbell but he was without the spare key Junhwe had given him at the beginning of the weekend. Contemplating between trying to figure out the passcode to the condo and risking his phone’s last two percent of battery, the front door swung open. 

       Donghyuk looked up in surprise to see Junhwe standing tall with a stony expression. Licking his dry lips, he offered an apologetic look, “Sorry, I forgot the key.”

       “It’s fine.” His voice was barely above a whisper, not bothering to glance back as he shuffled inside.

       Tracing his steps, he followed closely behind, closing the door as quietly as possible. “Was Chanwoo okay?” He kept his gaze trained on his ex-husband. “I know sometimes he can get cranky if I’m not there after a nap.”

       Junhwe didn’t say anything; the space between them absolutely silent as both men halted their steps. “How selfish am I?”

       His breathing stutters, “What?”

       “Fuck, I always knew I was selfish. I mean look at me. I’m a bona fide pop star who’s pretty much had everything handed to me.” He takes a harsh breath. “But fuck, the thought of you with Jungkook-- And I know! I know I shouldn’t, God, I don’t have any right  _ to  _ say anything because it’s over. You and I. And fuck knows I’ve been with Lisa for the last four years and shit. But I just think about him and you together and it drives me insane.”

       “J-Junhwe…”

       “I can’t ask you to take me back because even I know I’m too big of a piece of shit for you and I can’t ask that you leave Jungkook because you deserve to be happy, fuck, I want you to be happy.”

       “So, then, what do you want?” He asks, eerily calm in this sea of emotion. 

       The other male finally looks back at him, shoulders slumped. “Just… Just stay there. Right where you are; where I can see you. Where I know you won’t leave. I want this distance. Close enough to see you, close enough so I’m not afraid you’ll disappear. Far enough that I won’t try to steal you away, far enough so I don’t have hope. Just stay where you are now.”

**\---busan present---**

       “So, how was your weekend with satan?”

       Donghyuk rolled his eyes, “I thought you were past the age of calling Junhwe names?” He shot a pointed look at Mino. 

       “I don’t know what I’m more offended about; you defending him or the fact that you think I’ve matured past the age of insulting he-who-must-not-be-named.” 

       “Are you trying to imply that my son’s father is Voldermort?” 

       “Well, no, but-- Just stop avoiding the question and tell me how it went in Seoul.” 

       “It was fine. Chanwoo had a good time, I think.”

       “And you? Did you have a good time?”

       Donghyuk doesn’t answer, focusing on finishing up the batch of dumplings. He moves through the kitchen with ease, loading the batch into a pot to begin steaming them. “It was fine. Jungkook took me to Namsan Tower for dinner while I was there.”

       “Ah, and how’s that going?”

       He did his best to shrug nonchalantly, trying to appear busy to avoid any more questions.

       “Oh.” Mino sings teasingly. “Seems like it’s going  _ very  _ well.” 

       He threw a dishtowel at his brother-in-law. “It’s going well. He’s… Nice.”

       “Don’t know if you noticed, but he’s pretty hot too.”

       “Wow, that’s the first time I’ve heard you call someone other than Jinwoo hyung hot.”

       “That’s because my husband is the hottest man alive. Like burning hot.”

       Rolling his eyes, he turned away from the kitchen, strutting out towards the front counter just as Jinhwan walked through with Chanwoo.

       “Daddy!” The six year old spread out his arms, rushing towards him for a hug.

       “Chanwoo!” Donghyuk replied with equal enthusiasm, lips stretched into a wide grin. “How was school?”

       “We learned new shapes today!”

       “Really? And was that fun?”

       “Yeah!”

       “Okay, why don’t you go put your things away with Uncle Jinhwan and then you can show me all the new shapes you learned.” He teasingly poked the kid’s cheek. 

       “Okay!” Chanwoo turned around to grab Jinhwan’s hand, already trying to wrestle himself out of his clothes before halting suddenly; he peeked over his shoulder with wide eyes. “Is papa here? I want to show him the shapes too!” 

       He felt his entire being freeze; Jinhwan similarly stood stock still in the background. Donghyuk’s eyes darted down to Chanwoo who remained oblivious of what was going on, throwing his backpack into a small cubby under the front counter as he struggled with the buttons on his jacket. “C-Chanwoo, what did you just say?” 

       The six year old looked up at the adults curiously, tilting his head ever so slightly, “Papa? He said he’d come today!” Chanwoo looked excited, jumping on his heels when the small bell over the restaurant door twinkled. 

       All of them turned to look, jaws slacking as Junhwe walked in; Chanwoo immediately launched himself into the other’s arms, grinning happily as the idol easily caught him. 

       “Hey buddy, how was school?”

       The kid shrugged before grinning again, “We learned new shapes! I’m going to show daddy!” With that, Chanwoo leaped out of Junhwe’s arms and hurried towards his backpack with a grin, pulling out different colored construction paper and various arts and crafts from the napsack. “And I drew a picture for you, papa!” The six year old rummaged through the bag with fervor, throwing pencils and notebooks on the floor before pulling out a crudely drawn picture with lots of gaudy paint seeping into the edges of the paper. 

       Junhwe grinned, “That’s great! I’m going to frame it and put it in my studio.”

       “Studio’s where papa makes music, right?” 

       “That’s right.” Junhwe looked at their son fondly before lifting his head to shoot him a curious look. His lips twitched into a smile before giving a tense nod to Mino.

       “Chanwoo, why don’t you go show Uncle Mino all the photos you took in Seoul? Daddy needs to talk to… Papa.” His lips curl around the last word uneasily, glancing at his brother-in-law with a pleading look. 

       “Yeah, why don’t you show me all the cool things you got in Seoul?” Mino easily scoops up the child, heading towards the back room of the restaurant, followed by Jinhwan who gives him an encouraging smile. 

**\-----**

       He expects a flurry of words, an onslaught of shouting, anger bubbling at the seams. Instead, what he gets is an exasperated sigh and a long suffering look that makes him flinch internally. 

       Donghyuk guides them out of the restaurant and up the old road towards their,  _ his _ , old apartment. He moves with an underlying exhaustion seeping into his bones as he opens the front door, allowing them to step inside. 

       “Do you want anything? Water? Tea?”

       Junhwe looked up with a silent flinch before stuttering out a soft answer. “No, I’m good.” 

       The other male nods, shuffling around the apartment with a comforting ease before finally settling on the worn down couch. “Would you like to sit down?”

       His throat constricts at how formally awkward the other male is but manages a short nod, sitting down on a familiar old armchair. He runs his hands over the worn brown leather before finally facing his ex. He doesn’t know where or how to start so he doesn’t. 

       There’s a moment of shared silence.

       “I don’t know why Chanwoo started calling you papa or when this even happened--”

       “I didn’t make him.” He interrupts softly. “I didn’t tell him or ask him to call me that. It just happened over the weekend.”

       Donghyuk doesn’t say anything for thirty seconds; it’s one of the longest thirty seconds of his life. “June… I can’t… You can’t play papa when you feel like it--”

       “I’m not!” Junhwe stared at the other male fiercely. “I’m not playing… This isn’t a hobby or anything. I really,  _ really _ , want to be his father. I just, I don’t know what will convince you that I’m serious, but I am.”

       There was another long sigh; Donghyuk hung his head between his hands. “Hanbin hyung’s going to have a fit.”

       “Does that mean I can stay?”

**\-----**

       Junhwe has three distinctly clear memories of Kim Hanbin that strike fear in his very soul. The first was when he was six years old and he pushed Donghyuk down the slide with wicked glee. Immediately, Hanbin had marched up to him with an intense glare, sleeves pushed up to his elbows and a dark furrow in his brows. He remembers being six years old and wanting to wet himself out of fear. Thankfully, Donghyuk recovers quickly enough to stop his brother with a heart-melting smile before explaining they were playing pirates and the objective of the game was to keep your pirate enemy off your ship. Hanbin’s eyes didn’t soften but he pursed his lips and walked away. 

       His second clear memory of Kim Hanbin is the day after Mr. and Mrs. Kim’s funeral; Junhwe follows Donghyuk home everyday and makes sure he has at least two meals a day before begrudgingly heading back to his own house. Jinwoo used to say he was the one pillar that kept Donghyuk up while the older two Kim siblings were busy with guardianship and wills, and a bunch of other things a middle schooler didn’t quite understand. After one particular long day of school work and basketball practice, and after making sure Donghyuk arrived home safely and didn’t starve himself like he tended to do in times of high stress, he walked down the familiar beach path back to his house. The sun had long set and the street lights flickered brightly as waves crashed on the cold sand. He had been blasting Michael Jackson in his headphones when he glanced over to see a figure looming near the water. He was going to look away when the figure rushed into the water, uncaring about the dangerous waves that threatened to wash him away. It was an instinct, a natural reaction, when he dropped his backpack and ran into the ocean, wrapping an arm around the person’s torso and stopping him from drowning. 

       When they finally crash back on the beach, his teeth are chattering and his body consumed by the shivers; he looked over to see a familiar face, eyes closed almost peacefully. Junhwe panicked. He rushed over, trying to conjure up everything he remembered about health class when it came to administering CPR. Just as he was about to make a (poor) attempt at lifesaving, Hanbin opened his eyes with an eery calmness. They stared at each other, winter winds whipping at them. 

       They never spoke of it but that had been the second time Kim Hanbin struck absolute terror in his heart. 

       The last memory isn’t really all that clear; he thinks it’s because he had been short of breath, that his brain lacked the oxygen it needed to store the memory or maybe, he had knocked one too many brain cells away. But he sat lamely in the back of the cafe, twiddling his thumbs absentmindedly before a figure slumped into the seat opposite of him. He ran a nervous hand through his hair before daring himself to make eye contact. 

       Hanbin didn’t say anything; never really has. He just jerked his head towards the door and walked out. Junhwe followed closely behind until they reached the old middle school’s football field. 

       Hanbin doesn’t say anything; never really has. He does, however, communicate effectively; through his expressions, the tight line of his lips, the angry furrow of his brows, the fury in his glares, and through his actions, the veins in his neck, the curl of his fists, the strength of his punches. 

       And despite the pain, he never fights back. 

       “Stay away from him.”

       Just as the older man begins to walk away, he reaches out. “Please… Hyung, I… I just want to see Donghyuk.”

       “You made your choice, Junhwe. You chose to go to Seoul. I told you. I fucking told you that if you walked out that door, you’d never see him again.”

       He nods pathetically, whispering in a hushed sob, “I know but--”

       “There is no but, Junhwe.” Hanbin sighs, “He’s finally okay. He finally looks like my baby brother and not the shell you left him as.” He takes another deep breath. “You broke him. You completely broke him. And you know what? If you came back, he’d let you break him again. Over and over and over because that’s how much he loves you. But I can’t let that happen. I’ve already lost my parents, can’t lose him too.” 

       Junhwe’s not afraid of Hanbin’s vicious strength or biting words; he’s afraid of that raw vulnerability, that bare emotion that speaks volumes of how much he’s willing to go to protect his brother. He is afraid of Kim Hanbin. 

**\---seoul flashback---**

       Seoul is a steel jungle where modern technology threatens to overtake the remaining landscape of old buildings and traditional homes. Seoul is surrounded by trees and although the Han river runs through the city, it doesn’t compare to the fresh air of Busan. It doesn’t rival the picturesque beaches and salty waves. 

       In short, Seoul is a place he doesn’t belong in. 

       Yet, Donghyuk still makes the trek from home to here; he stared down at his hands, noting how they trembled before tucking them into the pockets of his jacket. 

       “Donghyuk!” 

       He looked up, glancing over his shoulder to see a familiar face grinning at him. He does his best to muster a smile back. “Hey.” 

       “Glad you could make it!” A warm hand lands softly on his back. “Trip wasn’t too much, right?”

       “Nah, the train was fine.”

       “Good, good.” There’s a lull in conversation that is ignored. “Anyway, I’m glad you came. Here’s your ticket. I also got you a backstage pass so you can see Junhwe.”

       He stared down at the offered items before looking up again. He whispers softly between them, “Thanks Yunhyung.”

       “No problem.” The manager flashed another toothy grin before his gaze softens. “It’s good to see you, Donghyuk.”

       “You too, hyung.”

       Yunhyung studies him for a few seconds before pulling away. “I have to go finish checking everything for tonight. But I’ll catch up with you later, okay?”

       He nodded, watching as the older man jogged away before turning his gaze back to the concert ticket in his hand. His eyes darted over the neatly printed black letters, taking a deep breath before stuffing his hands and the ticket into his pockets. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> where is this story going? honestly, can someone help me because I'm just writing and hoping I'll find it along the way.
> 
> also how has it been TWO MONTHS since I updated? seriously didn't mean to leave you guys hanging but a lot has been going on. just personally, at work, etc. so I sincerely apologize. i didn't realize two months had passed.


	6. daseot

** **

**\---busan present---**

    “Stop glaring and pass the kimchi.” He didn’t bother looking up from his rice bowl, well aware that his older brother was shooting daggers at Junhwe.

    “What’s he doing here?”

    “He’s eating dinner like the rest of us.” Donghyuk deadpanned, glancing at Hanbin with a blank expression.

    “I know what he’s doing but why?”

    “You asked what he was doing.” He took note of his brother’s exasperation before sighing, “It’s six o’clock, generally a time when most people consume their third meal of the day.”

    Hanbin looks like he’s going to mutter something but he takes one glance at Chanwoo eating happily beside Junhwe and holds his tongue.

    Silence falls over them as they finish their dinner; he peeks across the table to see Junhwe nervously glance at Hanbin, like he’s afraid he’s going to be jumped before he turns his attention back to their son who rambles excitedly about the newest episode of Pokemon that airs this weekend. Donghyuk slips into a fond smile before reaching over to help Chanwoo firmly grip his chopsticks.

**\---busan flashback---**

    “You’re pretty.”

    “And you’re drunk.” He laughs back, watching Junhwe sway softly in his seat.

    “I’m not drunk.” The taller male mumbles back before his lips slowly split into a grin. “You’re my husband now.”

    Donghyuk grinned back, suppressing the urge to giggle. “I know.”

    “We’re married.”

    “Yeah, I was there, June.”

    He smiles at the nickname before leaning closer as if they were sharing a secret. “I love you.”

    Donghyuk blushed before whispering back, “I love you too, June.”

    “No, I mean, I really love you.”

    “I would hope so, we’re literally at our wedding right now.”

    “No, you don’t get it… I genuinely, irrevocably, hopelessly love you.” Junhwe snakes an arm around his waist, pulling him in closer. “You’re my entire world. Don’t ever forget that.”

**\---busan present---**

    “No.” Chanwoo dragged out the “o” in a long whine as if that would get his point across. “I want daddy and papa to do bedtime.”

    “Chanwoo-yah, Uncle Hanbin wants to tuck you in tonight.” Donghyuk looked exhausted, arguing with their son as he refused to climb out from under the bed.

    “No, Uncle Binnie did bedtime last night.”

    “Chanwoo, you’re going to make Uncle Hanbin sad. Do you want to make Uncle Hanbin sad?”

    “No but--”

    “Chanwoo-yah, how about I tuck you in tomorrow? Uncle Hanbin can tuck you in today and I promise, I’ll be here tomorrow to tuck you in.” Junhwe finally interrupted, grinning warmly, trying his best to coax the child out from under the bed.

    The boy contemplated the option before looking between his parents. “Both daddy and papa tomorrow?”

    “Chanwoo--” Donghyuk looks ready to drag him out now.

    “I won’t come out until you both promise!”

    Part of him is impressed with how manipulative and articulate their son is but he knows now is not the time for that. “Chanwoo, I promise both of us will tuck you in tomorrow.” He pointedly ignores Donghyuk’s incredulous glare, reaching out to help the six year old climb out and into bed. He smiled, pressing a kiss against his son’s forehead before turning around to walk out of the six year old’s bedroom. He shot Hanbin a small grin. “He’s all yours.”

**\-----**

    “Why did you make a promise you can’t keep?”

    “Who says I can’t keep it?”

    “I know you have a variety show filming tomorrow.”

    “It ends at six. I’ll take the KTX down and be here in time for Chan’s bedtime.” Junhwe argued, helping his ex-husband throw discarded toys into a colorful bin. “How do you even know my schedule?”

    Donghyuk didn’t look at him, dusting off his hands when the last toy makes it way into the bin. “Jungkook told me.”

    He clenched his fists, gritting his teeth before taking a deep breath. He does his best to keep his voice level. “Well, don’t mind Jungkook. I don’t make promises I can’t keep.”

    “Don’t you?”

    Donghyuk whispers that to himself but he still hears it.

**\-----**

    Hanbin looks as intimidating as he did when he was thirteen years old and towered over the still-growing eleven year old body of Junhwe. Logically, he shouldn’t be so scared; he’s taller now with a solid four centimeters over the older man. He’s stronger too; the trend of toned figures in the music industry had inspired him to seek out the gym in his own quest for coveted abs. But sitting in front of Kim Hanbin reduces him to the scared eighteen year old who just got caught fooling around with said man’s brother.

    They don’t speak for a long minute, even as Donghyuk coughs awkwardly before making a haphazard excuse to escape the room with Jinhwan.

    “I thought I made myself clear.”

    Junhwe kept his head down. “He’s my son.”

    “And he was your husband.”

    He curls his fists so tightly, his knuckles turn white. “I’m not… I’m not here to actively ruin his life or anything--”

    “Just accidentally ruin it.”

    He let out a harsh breath. “Believe it or not, but I do want Donghyuk to be happy.” He unfurls his fists, feeling the blood rush back in tingling waves. “And if that means… And if that means we’re not together, that’s fine with me. You were right. I made my choice and now I gotta live with the consequences.”

    Hanbin holds his stare for another prolonged second before he finally looks away. “I won’t stop you from seeing your son, mainly because Donghyuk would kill me if I did. But you better keep your word. Donghyuk’s finally okay without you, don’t fuck that up.”

    He grinded his teeth harshly, nodding tersely at the other male. “I won’t.” He takes a deep breath. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to give up on him either.”

    Hanbin doesn’t reply; he doesn’t even look at him actually.

**\---seoul present---**

    Normally, filming a variety show is exhausting but rewarding; there’s a light atmosphere and it’s more of a space for everyone to let loose without harsh judgments. He wasn’t great at them but he enjoyed them. He loved to play silly games and challenge his opponents to foolish duels.

    However, it’s different this time.

    He’s anxious; he glances at his watch every time the filming seems to drag on, plastering on a fake grin whenever an MC looks his way with a question about his new album or something. He can practically feel time tick by, each minute seemed like a physical hurdle he had missed.

    “Junhwe! Are you okay?”

    He looked up to see his senior and fellow singer, Kang Seungyoon, offering him a warm smile. He nodded, trying to flash him a reassuring grin but even he could feel the tense awkwardness behind it. “Y-yeah, just had plans for later tonight.”

    “Oh. Well, we only have two more rounds of the speed quiz left and then I’m sure we’ll get to go.” The other male gives him a comforting pat on the back. “How’s the family?”

    He pauses, unsure of how to react. It was sort of a taboo topic on the show today; everyone had actively avoided asking him about his broken engagement and his uncovered family.

    “Come on, someone was bound to bring it up.”

    Junhwe likes that about Seungyoon; he’s curious but doesn’t aggressively pry. He lets most things pass him by without any judgment. He’s a good shoulder to lean on and an overall good person to come to vent about life. “They’re fine.”

    Seungyoon hums, “I saw the photos that Dispatch took. Your son looks really cute.”

    And just like that, his entire world lights up. “Thanks! He is adorable. He’s also wicked smart. He’s reading at a third grader’s level already although, I can’t say I had much to do with that. I was never that great at school. I’ve got pictures of him in these dinosaur pajamas, hyung. They’re adorable, you’ve got to see them!” Junhwe dug into his pocket, grabbing his phone before flipping through the hundreds of photos he had taken since finding out about Chanwoo, showing off with a proud grin.

    The other singer coos at each one before pulling away with a fond grin. “Fatherhood looks good on you, Junhwe.”

    He ducks his head with a content flush. “Thanks, hyung.”

**\---busan present---**

    Chanwoo struggles to stay awake on the couch; every few minutes, his eyes begin to droop before his head falls and he jerks awake. It would be an adorable sight if it wasn’t so heart wrenching.

    He finally walks over to try and convince his son to go to bed tonight, to give up when the doorbell rings loudly.

    Chanwoo jerks awake, eyes wide as he scurries across the living room, pushing past his legs to reach for the front door.

**\---seoul present---**

    “Good work, everybody!”

    He barely hears the producer thanking everyone, rushing past bodies to dive into his car. Yunhyung looks over with a concerned brow but he’s already making fast hand movements to urge him to go. “T-the last KTX leaves in like forty minutes, I can still make it!” Junhwe pants, digging into his pocket to find his phone. “If I make that one, I’ll be able to get to Busan in time for Chanwoo’s bedtime.”

    His manager looks surprised before nodding, “Well, hold on to your seat then, I’m about to break like fifteen traffic laws for you.”

**\---seoul flashback---**

    Junhwe stands on stage like he was born for it; like he was made for the flashing lights and adoring fans. He was destined for the spotlight, for the bright stages, for the flashy clothes, for this.

    Standing in a sea of fans chanting Junhwe’s name, pouring their hearts out when he steps on stage with a mic in his hand and a charming grin, he knows. He knows Junhwe was never meant to be stuck in a small apartment on the outskirts of Busan, never meant to spend the rest of his life in the same rundown restaurant with the same faces he’s seen everyday of his entire life. No, he was meant for more than that.

    That’s what he tells himself when he sits alone on a train, tears silently running down his face as he stared out the window.

**bin hyung**

_Did you tell him? 9:14pm_

_What did he say? 9:29pm_

_I didn’t tell him. 10:02pm_

He turns off his cell phone and leans against the cool surface of the glass.

**\---busan present---**

    “Jungkook! What are you doing here? I thought you said you had a photoshoot in Japan?” Donghyuk steps aside, letting the other male enter through the front door.

    “I did. I finished early and got on the first flight back.” He holds up armfuls of shopping bags. “Plus, I brought presents!”

    “Oh, but aren’t you tired?” Donghyuk can’t help but smile back, reaching down to pick Chanwoo off the floor. “Isn’t that nice, Chanwoo? Uncle Jungkook brought presents!”

    His son looks disinterested and exhausted as he leans against his chest before burying his face in the crook of his neck. He opens his mouth to talk but feels the tears soaking into his shirt, the child’s body heaving with sobs in his arms. “Oh, Chanwoo-yah…”

    “H-he promised!” The words are muffled but he can hear them clearly.

    “I know… But papa is very busy. I’m sure he wanted to be here--”

    “He promised! Papa promised!” Chanwoo pulls away to scream, eyes pooled with tears as he furrows his brows.

    “Chanwoo--”

    “Hey, Chanwoo? Want to see the really cool robot I got in Japan?” Jungkook leans down a bit to make eye contact with the child.

    His tears seem to pause, blinking them away as he purses his lips before nodding softly.

    The singer immediately grins, reaching into one of the bags to pull out a large replica of Optimus Prime, waving it around excitedly.

    His son sniffs, tears stopped but chest still heaving from the aftermath of crying; he makes grabby hands with chubby fists, smiling softly when Jungkook hands over the toy.

    “What do you say, Chanwoo?”

    He’s too engrossed in the details of the robot before he mutters out a quiet, “Thank you.”

    Donghyuk grinned softly, peering over at Jungkook who wore a similar grin as he watched the kid play with the toy before glancing up at him to lock eyes. He blushed before mouthing out a silent “Thank you.”

    Jungkook shakes his head sheepishly, reaching over to ruffle Chanwoo’s hair. “Hey, Chan, why don’t we go get ready for bed? I’ll read you whatever you want.”

**\---seoul present---**

    “I’m sorry, Junhwe…” Yunhyung looked uneasy, staring at his friend and the bright screen hanging over the ticket counter.

    “I just… Cancelled. How can they cancel it?”

    “Well, I was talking to one of the workers and they said there’s some sort of mechanical issue. They can’t let the train go without figuring out what’s wrong.”

    “T-that’s bullshit. I just…” Junhwe buries his head in his hands, pressing the heel of his palms against his eyes. “I promised him, hyung. I promised Chanwoo I would be there for him.”

    His manager looks lost, unsure of what to do before he places a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “It’s just one time. He’ll understand.”

    “But what if he doesn’t?” He lets out a heavy sigh, turning away towards the station’s exit.

**\---busan present---**

    Chanwoo falls asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow; he tucks him in with a gentle kiss on the forehead, turning the lights off with a small smile as his son slumbers away. Donghyuk closes the door as quietly as possible before finally venturing out back to the living room.

    Jungkook sits cross-legged on the floor, organizing his presents into piles before glancing up, beaming at him as he pats the space next to him.

    He strolled over, taking a seat next to him with a small grin.

    “I got Chanwoo these cute Pikachu pajamas. Think he’ll like them?”

    He hummed, observing the singer’s profile before nodding. “Yeah, I think he will.”

    “That’s good.”

    “Jungkook?”

    “Yeah?” He looked over at him with a charming grin.

    “Thank you for coming tonight.”

    “Oh.” Jungkook looks surprised before ducking his head shyly. “It was nothing. I’m happy to be here!”

    Donghyuk hummed again before glancing at the other male again. “Jungkook?”

    “Yeah?”

    “I think… I think I’m ready to fall in love again.”

**\-----**

_Can Koo Junhwe Recover From Scandals?_

   _“After the shocking revelation of a secret family and the end of his engagement to longtime girlfriend and model, LISA, entertainment insiders are wondering if the singer will be able to recover his image as K-pop’s Prince._

_‘A singer’s personal life is not important to the public. However, a singer’s personal life is important to the music he makes, to the emotion he brings.’ Producer and Epik High member Tablo said after being asked about his labelmate._

_The secrets have left a negative impact on the singer’s career and his latest album only sold two-hundred thousand copies, a big decrease from his previous album which sold over five-hundred thousand copies nationwide. He was also dropped as a spokesmodel for several products he had been endorsing, although, representatives have stated it had nothing to do with his personal life._

_Is this the end to Junhwe’s reign as K-pop’s R &B Prince?”_

**\-----**

_Chop! Chop! Chop!_

    He looks up from cutting the potatoes, staring at the door when the bell rings as it opens. His expression falls before turning back to the cutting board, chopping angrily.

    “Where’s Chanwoo?”

    “He’s taking a nap.”

    There’s a moment of silence between them.

“Don’t.”

    “Just hear me out.”

    “No.” He tossed the diced potatoes into a large pot before grabbing a bundle of carrots to angrily chop up as well. “I told you. I told you! Don’t make promises you can’t keep--”

    “I swear I tried to come. You can ask Yunhyung. The KTX was closed and all the flights were done for the day. I swear, Dong, I tried.”

    The knife slips. “Don’t. Don’t call me that.” He breathes hard, glaring at his hands; Donghyuk looked up, frowning heavily before he wiped his hands on a clean kitchen towel, pushing past his ex-husband. “You have no right to call me that.”

    “Dong--“

    “I was perfectly fine before you came back and decided you wanted to play daddy or whatever. I gave you an out! I told you, you could leave! I gave you a chance and you didn’t take it.”

    “Will you listen to me?” Now, Junhwe’s breathing hard, voice sharp as he stared hard at him. “I don’t want an out. I’m not playing. I want to be here. I want to be a part of Chanwoo’s life. I want to be a part of your life. I wanted to be there last night!”

    “But you weren’t!”

    “It was one time! I’ll be there next time!”

    “Jesus, where have I heard that before?” He’s exhausted. He’s tired of pretending everything is okay when it’s clearly not.

    “Fuck, that’s not fair.”

    “No, what’s not fair is having to watch Chanwoo try to stay up all night. What’s not fair is having to explain to him why his father isn’t there. What’s not fair is wasting the last twenty years on you.”

    Junhwe stares at him with a cold look, eyes darting between him and the ground. “...I know it’s not fair to put that all on you.”

    Donghyuk sighed, clenching and unclenching his fists. “Maybe you should go.”

    “...I” Junhwe pauses like he’s thinking over his words. “I don’t want to go.”

    “Sometimes you don’t always get what you want.” He ponders whether to be more cruel, words on the top of his tongue before he looks away. “Just go. Please.”

    “Donghyuk please…”

    “June, please--”

    “Daddy?”

    Both adults glanced over to see Chanwoo rubbing his eyes tiredly, dragging along a stuffed lion.

    He immediately reached over, softly smiling at his son. “Hey, did we wake you up?”

    The six year old shakes his head, lips stretched into a long yawn as he rests his head on Donghyuk’s shoulder. “Daddy, c-can’t sleep.” His voice was sleepy and soft, muffled in his shirt.

    He shushes him quietly. “How about we have a sleepover then?”

    His son nods, eyes still closed as he wraps a fist in the fabric of his shirt. “Is papa gonna come?”

    Freezing, he shares a look with his ex-husband, unsure of how to go about the situation. He cleared his throat, “Would you like papa to come with us?”

    Chanwoo doesn’t say anything, and for a brief moment he thinks the six year old has fallen asleep. “No… I’m mad at him.”

    The look that flashes over Junhwe’s features break his heart a bit but he doesn’t dwell on it. Instead, he keeps his voice soft as he presses a small kiss against his son’s temple. “Okay, okay…”

    “I’ll… I’ll just get going.” Junhwe grabs his jacket off the back of the dining chair, slipping into it with a long sigh before glancing at his family. “I’m… Chanwoo, I’m sorry. I promise I’ll be there next time.”

    Chanwoo doesn’t answer, only burying his face further in the crook of his neck, fists tightening against his shirt.

    “Junhwe… Drive safe.” He whispered, watching as the singer’s shoulders slumped dejectedly, walking silently as he slipped out of the old apartment.    

**\---busan flashback---**

    “Are you still nervous around Hanbin hyung?”

    Junhwe pulled his lips away from the beer bottle, glancing over at Donghyuk as he sat back in his chair, enjoying the fresh air as they settled on the apartment’s balcony. “I don’t know what it is but anytime I’m in front of him, I feel like I’m eighteen years old again, begging him not to kill me after he caught us in bed together.”

    Donghyuk chuckles breathlessly, gazing out at the stars. “I remember that. He forbid me from ever seeing you again but I snuck out every night for a week before he gave up.”

    He tossed back another beer with a soft grin; even under the pale moonlight, Donghyuk seemed to glow, drawing him in. He wants to break the silence; Junhwe opened his mouth to say something when Donghyuk looked up from nursing his own beer bottle.

    “Junhwe?”

    “Yeah?” His voice sounded breathless in the cold night air.

    “Can I… Can I like Jungkook?”

    Something is stuck in his throat; he’s suffocating in silence.

    “Is it okay if I like Jungkook?”

    Is it possible that his heart has physically shattered in his chest? He looked down at the beer bottle, scratching at the label with a long look before he nods silently. “Yes. Like him. Fall in love with him. I can’t give you everything so love someone like Jungkook who can give you the world.” Is what he should say but the words are caught in his throat.

    The only shared noise is their breathing.

    “Just promise me one thing.” He doesn’t bother to see if Donghyuk’s listening. “Be selfish. Don’t let him break your heart like I did. If he misses an anniversary, scream at him, throw things, anything. Don’t let him get away with it. Don’t smile and forgive him. Make him buy you fancy things and take you out to expensive restaurants. Make him put you first. Don’t pretend you’re okay, let him know when you’re unhappy. Be selfish, okay? Don’t… Don’t let him break your heart.”

**\---busan flashback---**

    ‘“I think… I think I’m ready to fall in love again.”

    They stared at each other for a long second; neither one of them moves, breath syncing in the calm air before Jungkook finally reaches over to softly cup his cheek, breaking into a warm grin. “Thank you for giving me a chance.”

    He lets out a breathless chuckle. “This is super cheesy.”

    Jungkook’s grin widens before he leans into brush their lips together. “You don’t know how cheesy I can be.”

    He sighs in exasperation, pushing the other male away. “Already regretting this.”

    Jungkook’s laugh is unrestrained and free.

**\---busan present---**

    The bell above the door chimed clearly; Junhwe looked around to see the restaurant was nearly empty before glancing up to see Donghyuk balancing armfuls of food through the kitchen.

    “You’re early.”

    It’s a statement; there’s nothing biting in his words but Junhwe can’t help but shrink a bit. “Uh, yeah, my schedule ended a bit early.”

    He purses his lips. “That’s good.”

    Donghyuk resumes working, barely paying him any heed; Junhwe hangs awkwardly in the space, staring down at his shoes against the laminate flooring, scuffing them quietly on the ground before glancing up when the bell chimes again. The door rattles loudly, followed by the pitter-patter of small feet.

    Chanwoo rushes into him, knocking his legs; Junhwe crouched down, wrapping his arms around his torso to lift him off the ground. “Hey buddy! How was school?”

    His son has no interest in answering him, instead, fighting every instinct and kicking his feet wildly as he landed punches against his chest; admittedly, he has a strong right jab that he probably learned from Hanbin. “Whoa, whoa, hey, stop punching me.”

    “You lied! You promised! You promised you would be at bedtime!”

    Now, Chanwoo was struggling to get out of his hold; there were tears and they looked huge in his big glassy eyes as he made an attempt to jump over to Donghyuk.

    His ex immediately shushed him, reaching over to pull him away; Junhwe didn’t want to let go, not until he could coddle Chanwoo and explain himself but his son was already burying his face in Donghyuk’s chest, little shoulders racked with sobs. It broke his heart.

    “Hey, daddy’s here.” The other male rocks their son with practiced ease, calming him down with a soft kiss against his temple. “I’m here, don’t worry.”

    “Papa lied.” Chanwoo’s tattles are muffled but it still hurts.

    “He didn’t mean to. Papa’s very busy sometimes. But he still loves you.”

    Junhwe feels like an outsider, peering into a private conversation between father and son.

    “...but he promised…”

    “I know. And papa’s sorry he couldn’t be here for bedtime last night. Right, Junhwe?”

    He snaps out of his reverie, finally making eye contact with him. “Y-yeah! Of course. I feel really bad and I’m so sorry, Chanwoo-yah.” He pleads with the kid, eyes soft as he searches for some sort of redemption.

    But Chanwoo avoids him, burying his face back in Donghyuk’s face, hands clutching to the front of his shirt in a iron grasp.

    “Chanwoo, how about we get some ice cream? You can get the biggest sundae you want!” He’s desperate at this point; honestly, he would get down on his knees if it meant his son would at least look at him.

    His next few words are jumbled together, muffled by the cotton of Donghyuk’s shirt and his refusal to pull away from his father’s embrace.

    “What was that, sweetheart?” Donghyuk’s voice is sweet and soothing, running a comforting hand up and down the child’s spine.

    “I want Uncle Kook.”

    It felt like someone had taken his heart and put it through a grinder; it felt like someone took his soul and stuck it in a blender; it felt like when he boarded the train to Seoul and never looked back.

**\---seoul present---**

    “Is there anything you want to do, Chanwoo?” He presented his son with a stick of fluffy cotton candy; they took a seat on an empty bench inside the Lotte Mall as people walked by, enjoying their free Saturday.

    Chanwoo stared at the confection before shyly accepting the item. “I want daddy.”

    Junhwe rubbed the back of his neck, letting out a soft breath as he looked down at the six year-old. “Daddy has some stuff to do today so it’s just you and me, kiddo. Isn’t that nice?”

    The child looks away, kicking the ground. “I want daddy.”

    “Daddy will be back later. But for now, why don’t we go to the movies? Or how about going to Lotte World?”

    Chanwoo doesn’t answer.

    “Junhwe?”

    He looked up to see his ex staring at him curiously.

    “Lisa…”

    “What are you doing here?” Her arms were wrung with shopping bags as she stood tall, glancing at him before her eyes darted to look down at his son. “Is this…”

    “Uh, yeah. This is Chanwoo, my son. Chanwoo, this is papa’s… Friend, Lisa.”

    His son doesn’t acknowledge either adult.

    “Chanwoo-yah, don’t be rude and say hi.”

    “Oh, it’s okay, he’s not being rude.” Lisa flashes him a small grin. “Hey, Chanwoo, I’m Lisa.” She tried to give the child a small wave.

    The six year-old didn’t look at her, instead moving to tug on the leg of his pants. “Where’s daddy? I want daddy.”

    He sighed, reaching down to lift his son up, hoisting him against his hip. “I told you, daddy’s got some stuff to do so we’re hanging out today. How about we get some lunch? I’m pretty sure your daddy will kill me if he finds out the only things you’ve had to eat the last three hours were an ice cream cone and giant thing of cotton candy.” Junhwe tried to give Lisa an apologetic look, mouthing an excuse for his son’s rude behavior.

    She waved him off, “There’s a great new Japanese place nearby. Do you like Japanese food, Chanwoo?”

    The kid stays silent.

    He shakes him a bit. “Chanwoo, Lisa asked you a question.”

    The six-year old doesn’t respond, focusing on the sleeve of his jacket instead.

    “Chanwoo, you’re being very rude to Lisa. Do you want me to tell daddy that you were being bad?”

    “I want daddy.”

    “Chanwoo--”

    “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”

    “Chanwoo!” His son hiccups, looking up at him with wide eyes at his raised voice. “You’re being very rude to papa’s friend and I want you to apologize.”

    “I don’t like papa!” He was practically shrieking, struggling to get away from him as he pushed him with all his might.

    “Chanwoo, you’re being very rude--”    

    “I want daddy!”

**\-----**

    “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

    He looked up to see his brother tossing him a judgmental look; Donghyuk ignored him. “It’s good for Junhwe and Chanwoo to be together without me hovering over them all the time.”

    “Yeah, but it hasn’t been that long since Junhwe abandoned--”

    “He didn’t abandon him, Hanbin hyung. He had to work late so he wasn’t able to get on the KTX.”

    “Whatever.” His brother lets out a huff of frustration, running a hand through his hair. “How are you and Jungkook?”

    He pauses, staring down at his hands for a brief second before turning back to his shopping cart to toss laundry detergent inside. “We’re good.”

    “Just good?”

    He fights the pink flush threatening to crawl up his skin. “We’re great. He’s very nice.”

    “Just nice?”

    “Is there a reason you’re interrogating me right now?”

    “No. Just…” Hanbin taps his chin, mulling over his words. “I like Jungkook. He’s good for you. For Chanwoo.”

    “Unnecessary comment.”

    “I’m just saying. He’s a good fit.”

    “I can take care of my personal life myself, thank you very much.”

    “Sure, because the last time you took charge of your personal life, you ended up with an ex-husband and a bun in the oven.”

    Donghyuk sharply whirls arounds to face his older brother. “Hanbin hyung, I appreciate the concern but I can make my own decisions. And I don’t appreciate your condescending tone. Now, if you could just please drop it.”

    His brother doesn’t look fazed by his sharp tone or dark glare, brushing him off. “Just don’t get caught up in Junhwe’s bullshit again. You always let him get away with everything but now you have a son and you can’t do that anymore. He has to face consequences now. He’s not eighteen anymore.”

    “Stop treating me like I’m in high school. I know what I’m doing.”

    “Do you?”

**\-----**

    “How was everything?” Donghyuk stepped over the threshold of Junhwe’s apartment, offering a small smile as Hanbin followed behind with a grunt. “Where’s Chanwoo?”

    The singer sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Uh, Chanwoo’s in the other room… He’s in time-out.”

    “Uh-oh.” Donghyuk pursed his lips nervously, ignoring the look Hanbin threw him. “What happened?”

    “Well, uh, we ran into… My friend and he was being a bit rude.”

    “That doesn’t sound like Chanwoo…” He worried, gently nudging past his ex, he strolled into the other room to see his son sitting on the floor with a gaming tablet in his lap. “You gave him an iPad?”

    “This is my first time giving him time-out, is that not allowed?” Junhwe looked genuinely confused that he was tempted to smile but bit it back.

    “No. Usually, time-out means five minutes in the corner to think about his behavior.”

    “Oh.”

    “Idiot.”

    “Not helping, Hanbin hyung.” He shot his brother a glare before turning back to his son. “Hey, Chanwoo, how was your day with papa?”

    Chanwoo looked up excitedly, dropping the iPad on the floor as he rushed into Donghyuk’s open arms. “Daddy!”

    “Hi, baby.” He ruffled his hair, pushing back his bangs slightly before squishing Chanwoo’s plump cheeks teasingly.

    “I missed you!”

    “I missed you too, sweetie.” He grinned, hugging the child close to him. “Papa said you had a bad day. Want to talk about it?”

    The six year-old pulls away a bit, avoiding his gaze. “Papa is mean.”

    He frowns, “Why is papa mean?”

    “Papa lied and daddy was gone.”

    Donghyuk hummed softly in understanding, pulling his son into his embrace again. “Did papa apologize for lying?”

    His answer is muffled but he knows it’s affirmative.

    “And why do we apologize?”

    “...To forgive.”

    “Exactly. Now, papa didn’t mean to lie and he apologized, right? So, don’t you think you should forgive him? Otherwise, he’ll be very sad. Do you want papa to be sad?”

    Chanwoo doesn’t look him in the eye, playing with the hem of his shirt. “...No.”

    “Can you tell papa that?” He coos when his son pulls away with ruddy cheeks and wide eyes, rubbing at them furiously before his little feet shuffle against the hardwood floors. Junhwe stands tensely against the doorframe, looking down as Chanwoo makes his way over to him. He watches as Chanwoo fiddles with his fingers nervously, staring at the floor for a brief second before tilting his chin up to look at his father.

    “I-I’m sorry, p-papa.” His voice is watery and the tears in his eyes look huge in his eyes.

    Junhwe breaks (probably always will when it comes to his son). He’s kneeling down to be eye-level and his arms are wrapped around Chanwoo’s small frame, shushing him quietly. “Oh, no, no, no. I’m sorry. I was the one who was wrong. I’m sorry.”

    Donghyuk wonders if he should look away, feeling like an outsider in this very moment.

**\-----**

    “Did you forget?”

    “What?” He raised an eyebrow.

    “Did you forget?” Junhwe rubs his face, exhaustion seeping in. “When I broke a promise, did you forget?”

    Donghyuk looks away, pushing himself off the wall to start cleaning up the toys scattered on the living room floor. A hand reaches into view, taking the toys out of his hands before gently turning him around. He kept his gaze down, staring at the hardwood floors under their socked feet.

    “I’m sorry.”

    He doesn’t respond, trapped against his ex-husband.

    “I’m sorry I never apologized. I’m sorry I broke my promises. I’m sorry--”

    “Stop. I don’t need this. Not after seven years. I’m over it.” Even he doesn’t think he’s very convincing.

    “Donghyuk, I’m so sorry.” Junhwe’s voice is soft, alluring. He reaches forward to place his hand under his chin, lifting his head up. “I’m sorry.”

    He should turn away; he should push him away; he should, he should, he should.

    Junhwe’s lips have always been chapped; he tends to forget to wear chapstick in the winter and has a habit of biting them whenever he’s focused on something. It’s a familiar feeling that reminds him of high school dances and late night excursions to the beach right before exams. It settles butterflies in his stomach and makes his heart stutter like it did when he had just turned sixteen. However, he’s not sixteen anymore. He’s eleven years older now who can’t just think about himself; he has a six year old son now who means the world to him.

    Placing his hands on Junhwe’s chest, he softly pushes him away. “We can’t... “

    “Donghyuk…”

    “I’m with Jungkook now.”

    And those four words seem to echo between them.

    “... Right. Jungkook.” Junhwe takes a step back, arms hanging by his side. “Right, you have Jungkook now.”

**\---six months later: busan---**

_Looking Good!_

_“R &B’s prince, Koo Junhwe was spotted in Busan this week with his son and ex-husband. They were seen at a mall together and later a toy store where it seems like his son, Chanwoo, picked up a rather big surprise: a giant Snorlax plushie! The singer kept his son close as the family kept a low profile._

_Chanwoo was seen wearing a child’s size version of Junhwe’s concert tee as he enjoyed some father-son bonding._

_His ex-husband, Kim Donghyuk, was also spotted shopping with them; Kim is currently in a relationship with Junhwe’s best celebrity friend, Jeon Jungkook. The couple were spotted in Seoul last weekend on a romantic date in Hongdae._

_It certainly seems like Junhwe has settled into the role of fatherhood!_

**\-----**

_Fans Interrupt Date Night?_

     _It seems like Jeon Jungkook was unable to hide from his adoring fans when he was spotted in Insadong with his current partner, Kim Donghyuk. The couple were seen enjoying a late night dinner at a local hot spot before they were spotted by a large group of Jungkook’s fans._

_The hashtag: #KookieAndHyukkie quickly began trending as witnesses uploaded photos of the two on their date._

_After it seemed like they wouldn’t be able to get any privacy, they were seen being picked up by a private driver before driving off._

**\-----**

_Is Jungkook’s New Song About Boyfriend Kim Donghyuk?_

     _Could Jeon Jungkook’s new single, “Save Me,” be about current partner Kim Donghyuk? Shortly, after the song’s release, it reached number one on Melon and Gaon charts as well as trended worldwide on YouTube. Fans are now speculating the song may be about the singer’s current partner, Kim Donghyuk._

_The lyrics allude to needing someone to love and many have inferred it may be Kim. The two have been in a relationship for the past six months and have been spotted on several dates together. Jeon has also been seen with Kim’s son with ex-husband, Koo Junhwe._

_A close friend of Jeon revealed, “He’s very happy with [Donghyuk] and he adores his son. They’re definitely in it for the long run.”_

_Could we be hearing wedding bells next?_

**\-----**

_[PANN] Boyfriend Jungkook is my type…_

_First, I want to say I’m not a Jungkook stan. My bias is BTOB._

_But after seeing Jungkook with his boyfriend makes me think he’d be the perfect type._

__

_He looks at him with honey in his eyes._

_He’s also soft with his son. I think he’ll make a good dad!_

_And “Save Me” is such a pretty song. You can tell it was made with love._

* * *

_[+489, -22] same! Jungkook and Donghyuk look cute together!_

_[+377, -45] they really do make a good couple._

_[+321, -18] find someone who looks at you like jungkook looks at donghyuk_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHH! I'm so sorry for the late chapter. I meant to post this before Valentine's day but then I went on a trip so I got out of sync. I know this chapter is terrible but I wanted to post something because everyone has been so awesome and patient! thank you guys seriously for being so understanding. i love you all <3 
> 
> also credit to whoever owns those pics! This is completely new for me so I was nervous but I thought it made the story more dimensional. :) 
> 
> As for the story's poster, I made it! Because I was procrastinating actually writing this story OTL. 
> 
> also I joined twitter: @yaeforall. I'm still getting used to it but if you guys chat with me there maybe I'll be better at using twitter and I will probably (most definitely) bother you about what I should do for the next chapter. 
> 
> ps. thank you to yugbam and ikonbias for letting me bounce ideas off of them for this chapter :)


	7. [extra]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!! I know it's been forever since I updated but guess what??? this is not an update!!! 
> 
> god, I'm terrible. I'm so sorry guys. I just can't seem to get over this writer's block. I've been writing and rewriting the same page because I'm unsatisfied with where the story is going. 
> 
> so, instead of writing, I made these instagram aesthetics for the characters! It was honestly a lot of fun and I really enjoyed doing it so I might incorporate more stuff like this into the story. none of these photos belong to me; i spent all day on tumblr just grabbing cool pics so credit to whoever owns these great photos!
> 
> thank you for being patient with me and for sticking with the story, guys! I love you all and honestly don't deserve your love and affection.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> also I have joined twitter! (@yaeforall) so come yell at me for updating!

**Author's Note:**

> I have not yet completed the story but am in the process, so I ask that you be patient. I'm trying to write another long fic and anyone who's tried to write one will know how long and time consuming they are.  
> also if you have any ideas for future fics in this multiverse! arc, I'd love to hear them so comment below!


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